Hey lovelies, just a short little bit that came to me after the premier. It's based off of a photo from a recent photoshoot, I'll link you to it on my profile. Enjoy xx
His suit felt too hot- too tight at the chest, the seams of his shirt felt as if they were small blades digging into his flesh, everywhere. It was so very different this time around. The green was the same, thick grass under his feet and trees overhead. The lawn was manicured of course, and the trees sparse. This was a cemetery after all, not a clearing in the overgrown forests of Camelot.
He rubbed his chin for awhile, his eyes downcast. To live through this death should have been enough for one lifetime. Here he was though, next to his mother. Standing before the coffin, the minister saying some last words before he was buried. If the sky was so dark and dreary, why was he burning up?
Merlin finally lifted his gaze to the coffin. This one wasn't fair. Sure, every time the others had come back and died on him again, it didn't seem fair. This one was the worst, though. He lived through centuries, never aging, looking to see who came back each generation. They didn't all come back at once; sometimes it was just Elyan and Gwen. Just Arthur and Uther. Just Freya. Just Gwaine or Lancelot. More often than not, it was Morgana. To cause some sort of evil upon the world, until Merlin moved to stop her, with his bones that ached from time yet never aged. They didn't always remember, either. Arthur did only once, Freya never did. Each time, those with magic came back with less and less until Merlin was a steady, roaring fire to candles that had all been blown out. His life became an endless reel of exhaustion, for he couldn't stop caring for each one, though he knew of the pain that inevitably followed. So here he was, in front of his father's grave. He didn't have an ounce of magic, not even a flicker, though he remembered his first life. He was Brian in this life, and Hunith was Hannah. Both big city teachers. Hannah was an art teacher at a private school, Brian a physics teacher at a big school in a dangerous neighborhood. He did nothing to deserve getting mugged and killed in this life, as he had in his first.
Merlin slid a clammy hand into his mother's soft warm one. He gave a shuddering sigh, and she rested her head on his bony shoulder. Merlin could tell the minister was nearly finished, and he waited for the moment when his father would descend into the ground once more. He was not sure how much more loss he could take in this endless existance.
Though they hadn't had much use in the decades since he'd seen trouble, Merlin's instincts caught an almost imperceptible reaction in the minister's face. He had focused momentarily on something he had seen behind the two mourners. This was a private ceremony, only family could attend. The only family Brian had was the two currently huddling against each other, bracing themselves against the minister's words and Brian's inevitable decent, back to the earth.
Merlin spun sharply, leaving his mother startled and his hair in disarray about his face. They walked toward him, a crowd of 10 dressed in black.
Slow, meaningful steps brought Morgana, Arthur, Gwen, Freya, Gaius, Percival, Elyan, Gwaine, Leon, and Lancelot towards him. They were full of power, gentle and wise power that seemed to wash over Merlin in waves. In that moment, he knew. They were the same as the first life, the same vibrancy. Even Morgana exuded an air of comfort and warmth. Her face was cool, placid, and reassuring. This was not the Morgana of when he first arrived in Camelot all those centuries ago, and it was not the one who lusted for blood. This was the Morgana of after, of the end. He welcomed them to his side, receiving sturdy handshakes from the knights, hugs and pecks on the cheek from Morgana and Gwen. All was silent; Freya slipped her hand into his. What was pain and exhaustion a moment before was utter calm, and not a word had been spoken. Arthur's timeless, blue eyes met Merlin's.
"We were not there for you then. You have been here for us always, so we're here now."
Merlin's face cracked into the grin he hadn't worn in what felt like millennia. He knew his time on this Earth was finished. In his last, most brutal moment, his friends returned heal and guide him home. And he was finally at rest.
Thanks for reading, R&R xx
