CAROLINE

TYLER

I turned to towards the door, "I'm sorry I cared, I CARED Tyler. So forgive me if I over stepped my boundaries by actually giving a da-" I was interrupted.

Interrupted by a large hand that grabbed my arm and spun me around fast. Before I knew what was happening, his lips pressed onto mines. I didn't have the time to think and so I closed my eyes. He moved his large hands on either sides of my face. I cannot believe it. He kissed me… wait, TYLER LOCKWOOD is KISSING me! He kissed me forcefully, yet slow and still gentle... in a way. He suddenly stopped and I longed for his lips…

I took this moment to look at her beautiful face, to see what she had in mind. Her face that was always gonna be the same. Beautiful Caroline… Her eyes fluttered open and immediately met mines. I could only stare into them, those deep, light blue eyes. God, I don't think I've seen anything more beautiful. She had a look on her face… confusion maybe? She seemed frightened. I stroked her cheek with my thumb in reassurance. I followed her eyes and she looked down. I felt as though at this very moment we wanted the SAME thing. We wanted each other. I leaned in for another kiss, this time softer… more gentle. This was our moment. It was OUR first kiss.

Was this really Tyler? Oh yeah, a few seconds ago I was screaming at him for being a jerk… so OBVIOUSLY it is him. He kissed me again and this time it was with less force. The kiss got deeper and became more passionate, eventually I got sucked in the moment. Before I realized it, I was hungrily moving my mouth against his and we were both leaning in to deepen the kiss even more. I didn't want this to stop, this was such a PERFECT moment. Suddenly, Damon flashed into my head.

"Don't get too close to your little werewolf friend."

"ONE BITE from a werewolf can KILL a vampire."

I quickly tried to pull away from him.

This was the PERFECT moment… She was different… She wasn't like Vicky, or Kelly. It wasn't the same when I kissed them, kissing Caroline was COMPLETELY different. As the kiss began to deepen, I felt Caroline begin to push away. I moved back and looked at her, she had her fingers to her lips right away. I can feel the tension rise rapidly as we stared into each other's eyes. Her face was worried, almost innocent looking, but still with a little hint of guilt.

"You can't do that." She said to me with a demanding tone.

"I'm sorry… It's just…" I was speechless.

I didn't know what to say to her. As much as I hate to admit this, it pained me to hear her say that. It was painful for me to see her face with guilt and regret. When I kissed her, it felt so right. I thought she felt that way too, that's why she kissed me back… but, I guess I was wrong. Her expression and the way she's reacting is telling me she regretted everything that just happened.

I looked at Tyler's shocked expression, he seemed as though he was trying to figure out the answer to a very hard math problem. He was trying to figure ME out. Tyler had the look of disappointment in his eyes, he seemed… SAD. I wanted to tell him that I hated every second of that kiss, I wanted to tell him that I regret everything that had just happened… BUT, I couldn't. Deep down, inside me, I could feel it, I wanted every second of that as much as he did. I almost felt bad for Tyler, then Matt popped into my head. When he told me he loved me… When he kissed me…My feeling suddenly changed once again and I can tell Tyler was beginning to get extremely dizzy with all my mood swings.

"Everyone needs to just STOP kissing me!" I shouted angrily at Tyler.

I rushed inside and slammed the door at Tyler's face. I can remember the look on him. If I didn't know Tyler, I'd say that was the exact same look he had when he found Mason's video. He looked as if he was about to burst into tears, but it suddenly turned into shock as I walked away from him. I'm sorry Tyler. I just… I CAN'T do this. I'm in love with Matt. It was ALWAYS Matt. You were never in the picture…

I watched her through the glass on the door. I watched as Caroline angrily stomped away. I turned around and looked out into the night. The only thing in my head was her face. Her reaction. I can only imagine what would happen tomorrow if I ever crossed paths with her again. With what I've done tonight… she'd never want to see me again…

Instantly I thought of why she wouldn't have wanted what happened, MATT. It was him, at this time I wanted to find Matt, I wanted to hunt him down and start a fight. I wanted to throw a few punches at him, not enough to kill him, but enough to make him feel the pain I'm feeling. I just… I hoped that maybe if I did beat the living life out of Matt, maybe…just MAYBE he'd be able to take away atleast HALF of the pain I felt. I snapped out of the evil thought. Matt, Matt Donovan, he was my BESTFRIEND…

I can't believe I even thought about those things I could do to him. I don't know why, but Caroline does the strangest things to me. I can't compare her to anyone, not even with Vicky.

When I was Vicky, I got into fights with Jeremy, not because I LOVED her… mostly because I felt that if he succeeded in taking her from me, I'd have no one. I KNOW I'm a jerk, it was actually quite surprising for me that Vicky stayed with me for that long. I'm sorry Vicky… for not being able to give you the love you wanted, for keeping you from GETTING the love you needed…from Jeremy. Thinking about Vicky, I realized… She never loved me back either, that was why in the end she left me.

BUT, CAROLINE… It was embarrassing to say that I loved her… I couldn't she was a vampire and I was a werewolf. She was never going to age, never going to CHANGE. I could kill her with the blink of an eye, even by accident. All the times we spent together… I felt it, Caroline did CARE for me… she didn't stay with me because she HAD to, she stayed with me because she wanted to. The moment when I was alone, with no one to help me, with no one to understand… CAROLINE… she was ALWAYS there. By my side, keeping me safe, protecting me, thinking of me first before herself. I can't say I love her though… I just can't.