Kate, I love you.
I love you, Kate.
"Will you fucking hurry up? I swear to heaven I will sue this entire hospital if you don't get her into surgery RIGHT NOW!", Castle screamed at the doctor in-charge.
"Mr. Castle, you need to calm down. And NO, you will not be going into the ICU. Move away, immediately."
Esposito and Ryan held Castle as he helplessly fought against them to accompany Kate into the ICU. His brain was reeling, "If anything happens to her, I'll never be able to forgive myself. I saw the glare. I saw it all too well. If I had moved her, if I had yelled the warning a second before, Kate would be with me right now."
Castle looked at Jim sitting on the chair opposite to him.
"I'm sorry," he mouthed.
Jim gave him a weak smile. He got up and came and sat down next to Castle. "You're not responsible, Rick. If it wasn't for you, Katie would have probably been shot in her hea.. Don't worry. Kate's a fighter. She'll be back before you know it. Don't worry."
Seeing Lanie coming out of the ICU, Castle got up immediately. She gave him a nod. The surgery had begun.
Castle didn't know what to do. He was numb. He felt dead. He had lost faith in God somewhere in high school. But looking around at the different families huddled together in the waiting room, desperately hoping that some miracle will save their loved ones, reminded him that if He existed, he didn't exist in the church. He didn't exist in the mosque. He didn't reside in temples either. He was here. In these barren corridors. He lived here, as a flicker of hope amongst people who've lost faith in the world. He was here. And he had to, he had to, save Kate.
The world needs Kate. The world will be lost without here. Hell, she didn't deserve any of this! She didn't. But she lives with the thought of knowing that she can be here any single day. She lives with it, not for herself, but to make the world a better place.
Castle looked around at the people he had begun to refer to as family. Kate couldn't leave Lanie behind. Lanie was her best friend, her guidance counselor, her sister. Esposito and Ryan were the brothers Kate never had. He knew that Ryan or Esposito would give their lives in a heartbeat, to save Kate's. Surely, she can't leave them behind.
And what about Alexis? Alexis loved Kate. She looked up to her like a child would look up to her mother. She couldn't leave her and go, could she?
Castle knew that even his mother loved Kate.
She even told him once after Kate left the loft after dinner, "You know, kiddo! When Kate's here, it's complete."
"What's complete, Mother?"
"Our family, Rick. Our family."
No, Kate Beckett had to fight. She couldn't walk away from everybody's life. She couldn't. SHE WOULDN'T! Kate Beckett is the most selfless woman Castle had ever met, and she wouldn't snatch away her family's happiness like this.
Her father. He's seen enough in his life. He should be sitting at home, besides a warm fire, teaching his grandchildren how to play cards. He didn't deserve to be sitting on this hard chair, outside the ICU, hoping, clinging that his daughter will make it through.
And what about him? God, he loved Kate. He loved her so much, that even when she flinches it tears him apart. She knew he loved her. She knew. She wouldn't do this to him. Kate Beckett is a fighter. She's a warrior. His warrior.
Castle felt the people stirring around him. He looked up. A doctor had just come out of the operation theatre.
~ Az
I'm extremely sorry about any grammatical error. English isn't my first language and this is my first attempt ever at fan fiction. Reviews are always welcome and so is constructive criticism. Have a good day, guys! :)
