This is my first time making a fan fiction. Enjoy
"Hey, guys I need to talk about something serious" I sat more straight, looking from Yui to Azusa to Mugi.
"Ritsu, you sure about this" Mio looked at me with concern in her eyes.
"Yea, it's about time right?" I grinned at her and swallowed hard. I was a bit taken aback to how my friends reacted; it was as if they could feel how dire this situation is to me.
"Ritsu-chan, you don't have to say it if you don't want, we understand" Mugi clasped her hands and smiled at me.
"No, I'm really okay about it." I looked at Mugi and gave her a wicked smile; all the way I felt my heart racing and my sweat developing in my temple.
Here we go.. I inhaled deeply.. Let it out Ritsu.. You can do it
"Guys, I'm gay?" I said awkwardly. They were still; both Nakano and Yui went still, while Mugi just nodded silently as if she already knew. Did she?.
I heard Mio sighed beside me and eyed me maybe to check whether I'm okay or not and returned her attention to the other club members.
"For how long did you know, Ritsu-senpai?" Azusa asked me a few seconds later
"Might be when I first started attending Sakuragou might be earlier, I'm not entirely sure myself?" I answered sheepishly. Azusa looked as if she's still trying to process this new information.
I slouched back on my chair, wiped my temples and sighed. Just the thought that one of them might freak out at me would really hit me hard. I told Mio faster then the rest and she was okay with it. Mugi looks fine. Yui and Azusa, those two I'm the more worried about.
"Hey captain, then if you like girls. Does that mean you like Mio?" Yui asked me naively.
I couldn't answer that directly, feeling cold sweat developing in my back. I never thought about it, and I haven't felt the slightest interest towards Mio; yes she was attractive but I've always regarded Mio as family. As I was about to answer Yui, Mio took my chance away in a split second.
"Well, I hope she doesn't? my parents won't take it likely..." and she elaborated more but I forgot most of what she said.
-end of flashback-
5 years later
And here I am now in a café with my best friend, drinking tea and reminiscing about the past. She was in deep thought of the book in front of her, filling out our bucket list.
I shifted my seating and eyed Mio. She had died her hair dark red brown after her 2nd year in Tokyo university. It was mostly a reminder, a symbol, just like what a tattoo does, that she had left her more youthful persona behind. I was okay, even refreshed by her change, it made me want to change as well as a person. A motivation to better myself, I say.
"Hey Mio, don't just ignore me" I threw a tissue ball in her direction. It bounced to her face.
"Urgh, Ritsu. Let me focus here" She glared at me. Her face was as beautiful as ever. Hair pulled back into a ponytail. She wore a blue flannel shirt and short white pants.
"Boohoo, I'm bored just pick anything from the bucket list" I sipped on my drink and took a bite from my chocolate fudge cake.
"Fine.. how about we go mountain tracking?"
"Nooo, we did that last summer as well. I want to go to the beach!" I flailed my arms to the air in admonishment.
"The beach? Hrm. You want to contact the others than? We could go to Mugi's summer house if she's okay about it"
"Fine by me. As long as you are there I'm okay." I said jokingly, phrasing the last of the sentences slowly.
"Aww, you are so sweet Ritsu." She flirted friendly with me and my heart beat a bit faster than normal.
Summer holiday
"Mugi thanks a lot for letting us stay in your summer house" Mio said. She wore a tank top with a summer straw hat. Her hair today was let loose. Mugi just smiled to her and gave me a wink.
After a fun day on the beach the K-on club returned back to Mugi's summerhouse. Mio and I were sitting on the outdoor bench looking at the sea and the starry night sky. It was beautiful. The atmosphere is really suited for light and even deep talks, things that I usually enjoy often with Mio.
There was again an annoying nudge in my feelings. I shoved it way back and drank my 3rd bottle of Sapporo beer. I handed one bottle to Mio as well.
"It really is a miracle isn't it Ritsu?" Mio suddenly said out of nowhere.
"What?" I asked dumbfounded.
"Us, it's like fate. We've been with each other for how long?" she looked at me and sipped her bottle of beer.
"14 years" I smiled to no one as if realizing what she meant.
"14 years." She reaffirms herself.
"Yeah" I looked at her and saw her outline from the moon's light. It was breathtakingly defining.
Mio... I need to say it to her. Now or never.
"Mio" I readied myself
"Hrm?" she asked not taking her eyes off the sky.
"I love you" I said, face heated. She looked at me and paused.
"I love you too" she replied and went back to looking at the sky.
I swallowed and picked my words carefully.
"Not like that." She stops what she was doing and looked at me again.
"What do you mean?" she questioned curiously.
"I'm.." I held out my hand to her and she waited patiently. I inhaled deeply and found my resolution. Be confident and never regret.
"I'm in love with you" I said in one breath and her eyes slowly widened in realization. . My hands felt numb. My continuous heartbeats rang in my ears. I know and I know what her answer will be but I can't help myself. I closed my eyes and gripped my cargo pants tightly.
There was a long pause where I can only hear the waves moving towards the beach.
"Ritsu, you know I can't. We can't" she faced me. Eyebrows knitted in concern.
And there we go, you brought it to yourself Ritsu. I cursed within my breath. My emotion was numb, I don't know why; maybe cause of sheer panic and despair? Again a long pause and I found my voice falter.
"I understand. I don't know where that came from. Just forget it okay? I'm sorry" I apologize quickly and gave her a wide grin. I know that she knows it was fake.
The air went still. It was awkward and I don't know what to do. I stood up immediately afterwards
" I'm going to go buy some drinks and snacks on the convenient store. Text me what you and the others want." I shielded my face from her and walk briskly to the main entrance.
"I can go with you if you want." I heard her caught up to me
"No, I need to be alone for a sec" I said as I gripped the door entrance.
"Okay." Her tone of voice was weak. I don't know whether she's worried or sad; maybe she just pitied me.
"See you later"
I opened the door and dashed of to my car. I head to the convenience store. My feelings began pouring out and I cried throughout the way to the convenient store. I stopped my car at the convenient store parking lot and clasped my hands to my eyes. Keeping both hands firmly to my face.
"Fuck! It was stupid of me to even try anyways" my voice cracked as I shouted frustratingly to my car.
