Three's a Crowd

Jeremy: OK, I think it's working now. HEY kids, we're recording this so that when you grow up and you ask where you come from, you'll know your parents used to be cool.

Blaise: I'll always be cool dude. Just worry 'bout yourself, rule freak.

J: What… OK, I'm gonna calm down, cos it's just the hormones speaking.

B: Yeah, you just keep telling yourself that.

J: Anyway. I first saw your mum in the bullpen, and she was HOT. I kept finding excuses to talk to her, but cos I was brought in by-

B: Douchebag Anders.

J: I'll edit that out, Blaise. I was brought in by… a not-so-nice guy. So she only thought I was spying every time I went near her. But I think she had her eye on me too, cos right after our first case together, -

B: We had crazy good sex.

J: Again, edit. We… started hanging out. We were even partners for a while, which I really should have reported, but since she didn't want anyone to know and we weren't officially dating, I just kinda let that slip. We had a bit of an issue when I had to be transferred back, -

B: To Redbird Canyon, heh heh.

J: Blaise. They're gonna be Redbirds too. They're not gonna find this funny.

B: Oops. "Sorry." Aaa-nyway, we got over that, your dad transferred back to San Fran and about two years later, we got married in a small church ceremony. Your grandma insisted on the church, I insisted on wearing pants.

J: Uncle Kai sent out fake invitations stating that we had adopted a Star Trek theme, but the joke was on him when he was the only one in Trekkie wear.

B: Wait a minute- Uncle Kai? Are they gonna be on first-name terms with every nerd in San Francisco?

J: He's actually a nice guy, Blaise. And we can't just exclude him when Mal and Natara are the godparents and they're gonna keep coming around.

B: OK, fine. You guys- if Kai ever gives you any weird Japanese comics, you let me know immediately alright?

J: To get back to what we were saying- after the wedding, we tried to get pregnant for a year, but it didn't work. So we decided to go for IVF, which meant your mum would have to stop running circles 'round the San Francisco underworld and be desk-bound for a while. She wasn't happy about that, but ultimately just made me swear it was temporary and went to ask for a transfer. Fortunately Aunt Natara had left the Fed and was now Acting Captain and mother of one, so it was at least easy for her to say it.

B: But she transferred me to the tech lab! With Kai! Just because I did Biology in college! Then Kai just went apeshit on me right, rigging up cameras to record everything I said, making me call him 'Supreme Master' before he would teach me anything about the lab, and trying to get me into a motion capture suit for his new gaming avatar. You guys better appreciate me when you grow up, man.

J: Erm, I wouldn't call that her biggest sacrifice, but you guys get the idea. Speaking of sacrifices, the very first time we tried IVF, the doctor told us that all three embryos had attached to the endometrium.

B: And he was all calm and like, "The main risks are of premature delivery since it's IVF and you're over 35, so I would recommend ceasing all intense physical activity, and maybe there'll be a need of complete bed rest later on." So… I snapped. I told him, "Whaddya mean complete bed rest? That's just not gonna happen. Do you even know that I kick ass for a living?"

J: I apologized to the doctor and dragged her out. I still remember exactly what she said then.

B: Yeah, I said, "What do you think you're doing? Oh I know, we're gonna leave and get a second opinion. "

J: And I said, "We'll get a second opinion if you want, but what if it says the same thing?"

B: I… didn't have an answer to that.

J: So I told her that we didn't have to go through with this, we could adopt or we didn't need to have kids at all, that ultimately I just wanted her to be happy. And right there, in the crowded hospital corridor with trolleys squeezing past us, she looked into my eyes and became a mother. She said, "No- I want this as well. Let's do this."

B: So I stayed in the tech lab, luckily I worked out Kai's gaming password and changed it, so he didn't dare to try anything funny after that. And after a few months of that, I've been stuck at home on bed rest for the past three months, and it's SO. DAMN. BORING.

J: I know baby, but we're nearly there. You see kids, we're going in for a C-section tomorrow, then you'll be here!

B: Yeah, you guys will be here and finally we won't be talking to a stupid webcam. You dad will take you shooting and I'll teach you taekwondo, and you'll be the most badass kids ever. If anyone -except me, obviously- laughs at you for being Redbirds, you can totally teach them a lesson.

J: Blaise, could we try not to teach them random violence even before they're born?

B: Yeah, you're the one who just told them they were nearly aborted. Like that's not gonna screw them up.

J: Oh- that's true, actually. I'm gonna have to do some heavy editing on this. Anyway, we should get to bed now, we gotta be there early tomorrow.

B: So you think that with three kids around, you're still gonna have time to edit this. You never stop being a rookie do you?

Thanks for the great feedback for "Third Time Lucky", cool22hd, Breezy Fan, mozzi-girl and Things in Ink. I'll try to keep writing if I have time!