Hello there readers who decided to click on this story. It's been a few years since this show has ended, and a few years since I've written any fanfic about this show. And while I am still in the progress of finishing a story I left hanging years ago (which I promise to complete), I wanted to get a feel of what people think of this idea I have brewing in my head. I love music, and the lyrics in songs sometimes tell a story that you can extend into a story, so this happened. I have no rights to any of these songs, and the artists will be credited at the end of the chapters.
Chapter 1: I Don't Wanna Live Forever
Been sitting eyes wide open behind these four walls, hoping you'd call
Ashley stared at her silent phone. No open apps, no open messages, no videos playing, just eyes focused on her home screen, hoping…wishing that her screen would change to show the calling of the girl she longs to hear from.
It's just a cruel existence like there's no point hoping at all
Each passing minute made her heartache grow to intolerable intensity. She kept glancing to the top left-hand corner of her cellphone, as the delusional thought that her cellular connection is the problem gnawed at her. That thought, however, seemed irrational because of the full five bars being portrayed. Please call… she internally pleaded to the other person.
Baby, baby, I feel crazy, up all night, all night and every day
Defeated, Ashley glanced at the digital clock on her bedside nightstand. 3:06 AM. She grew sadder as hope was slipping from her. It has officially been two weeks since she was told she would receive a call, if the desired person changed her mind about their situation. Ever since then, Ashley has laid awake in bed, losing sleep, losing hope, and losing happiness. On most nights, the only way she managed to fall asleep was after her pillowcase had been stained with her sorrowful tears. On other nights, she only fell asleep because of her body's sheer exhaustion due to not having rest the night before.
Give me something, oh, but you say nothing
Still, no call came. Concluding that her ceiling was too boring for her to continue staring at, she got up to retrieve the half empty gallon tub of vanilla ice cream from her freezer, returned to her bed and sat up against the headboard, opened her laptop, and logged onto Facebook. The very first post in her feed belonged to the person of her interest. Two minutes ago. This was posted two minutes ago, and I have yet to receive a call about a crucial decision.
Still, she stared at the picture. She mused of the times when those sparkling blue eyes would stare at hers. The darker blue limbal ring around her iris, as minor as it is, was always so attractive to Ashley. Her eyes also had a natural glassy look to them, as if there was some sort of invisible shield around them, protecting them from any tears that may try to invade those beautiful eyes. Come to think of it, Ashley has never seen her cry, not one tear, ever. Call me? She wrote in a Facebook message to the other girl. Ashley's message was read almost immediately, but for the rest of the night she hadn't gotten a response.
What is happening to me?
Ashley sat in the corner of her large bedroom, her eyes scanning over the square footage of it. She tightened her grip on the wooden bat she held in her hand before throwing it across the room, breaking one last thing. Tears streamed down her face as she hugged her knees close to her chest. Her room was now destroyed. A few minutes prior, she had been swinging the bat at everything in her room, after she was overcome with a wave of fury.
Her fingers slid through her hair, a sign of the girl giving up. A moment later, Ashley rose to her feet, entered her bathroom, and glanced despairingly at her scruffy appearance. Her skin was becoming pale from her lack of contact with sunlight, her eyes had dark circles from lack of sleep, her hair held many split ends from her neglect of it, and most importantly, she looked broken. She willed herself to try to smile, but she couldn't. The longer she stood there assessing herself, the less she felt like herself. This person staring back at her in the mirror seemed so foreign, so distant, and so unreal.
I don't wanna live forever, 'cause I know I'll be living in vain
Woefully, she walked into the living room space of her penthouse. The empty feeling caused by all the space in the room matched the empty feeling in her heart. She perched herself onto the small, cushioned bench in front of her piano, and ran her fingers lightly over the keys. Closing her eyes, her fingers lightly moved over the keys as she gracefully placed a soft melody to express the way she was feeling in this moment. As she smoothly played the melancholy tune, suicidal thoughts intruded her mind slowly at first, but progressively got worse. Her fingers were now pounding against the keys; her light, soft tune completely forgotten about.
Finally, she let out a frustrated scream and slammed her fists against the keys of the piano. She rose to her feet and angrily kicked the small seat from behind her. Her breathing was heavy as she walked towards her large windows that overlooked the city. She slumped onto the floor, looking out at the bright lights, and she released an exasperated cry.
And I don't wanna fit wherever
A noise broke the silence of Ashley's home. What was that noise? A cellphone ringing? Ashley was desperately making her way back to her bedroom. She dug through the chaos she caused earlier, but couldn't track the location of the ringing. Come on, come on! Where is it?!
By the time she found her phone, it was too late. She had missed the call. She started to mentally berate herself as she focused on the name of the caller.
I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home
Spencer
She called! A smile crept across Ashley's face as she mentally noted that the girl she loves so much had in fact decided to call. The call doesn't mean Ashley would get all that she's hoping for, but it is a step towards getting all that she needs. Maybe if I wait a minute or two, she will call back again.
I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home
Spencer
It's been twenty minutes…she hasn't called back yet. Maybe I should call her? The last time we talked, she said not to call her, but to let her be the one to call me. It should be okay since she called, but I missed the call. Right? Right. Definitely.
Ashley called five times, and five times she heard the other girl's voicemail recording.
I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home
Spencer
"Hi, this is Spencer. I'm sorry, I can't come to the phone right now. Feel free to leave a message and I'll try to call back as soon as possible. Thanks!" Ashley flung her phone into a wall after hearing the voicemail for the sixth time. Red flushed over her face and neck as she shook with anger. Finally, she gave up and sunk onto the floor, where she stayed for the rest of the night.
Author's Note: Song Title-I Don't Wanna Live Forever. Song Artists-Zayn Malik & Taylor Swift
