Glass Skies
Author's Note: This idea came to me after hours of crying because of the season one finale…this is the product of a fangirl who is unable to accept such painful realities as the one Kripke so generously left us with…
Disclaimer: Let's just say if I owned Supernatural, we all wouldn't be worried beyond consolation while waiting for the CW to pick it up for season two. I'd buy my own network and play Supernatural 24/7, along with anything Jensen/Jared related...
Warnings and otherwise: No wincest, just ample amounts of brotherly love. And no, this will not be a deathfic. Right now, I just don't have the heart to write one of those, lol.
"I'm surprised in you, Sammy. Why didn't you kill it? I thought we saw eye to eye on this killing this demon comes first. Before me--before everything."
"No, sir. Not before everything."
Sam felt his heart flutter. Everything seemed to begin to freeze.
They were driving…then there were headlights…then an incredible force that knocked the breath out of him before he could scream. Glass shattered, bones snapped…silence reigned and darkness had overwhelmed him.
Sam woke up with a startle as his bruised and bleeding body slid out of the Impala onto the cold, hard ground. The first thing he set his eyes on was a wash of white light crawling around him, slicing the shadows before him like blade. There was glass and metal littered all over the ground and each broken shard sparkled in the distance like faraway stars. Then again, everything was faraway, now.
A single concept was etched in the back of his mind, against his pounding skull. It was because the way his body felt numb but tingled with pain. It was because the air around him seemed stagnate but swirled around him with a deep, pitying laughter. It was because everything and nothing mattered right now, and a dizzying contortion of reality was taunting him to wake up from this burning cold nightmare. It was because it made a confused kind of sense: he must be dead.
Yet, Sam's first thought was not of Heaven or Hell. His first conscious concern was not even about life or death, but something that meant more to him on some undefined level of conviction and priority: Dean.
Where was he? Is he alive? Please, God, let him be alive…
Sam tried to lift himself up, but arms did not support his weight and his hands slid against the wet grass and mud that seemed to swallow him, cut him. He twisted his body enough so he could crawl back around to the car seat and pull himself up that way. He had both hands on the car door when it suddenly whipped shut, and he felt his body fly back. Something was pulling him. Something had thrown him. He wasn't sure if it was good or not that when he hit the ground again he didn't really feel it. He shook his head, grappled with his focus and stared hard at the wreckage ten feet in front of him.
His family was trapped in that cage, lit up with the headlights of the enemy that seared his vision.
"Dean! Dad!" he let the cries scratch their way out of his dry, tightened throat. He had the perfect view from here of death, and the end of the world was just beyond the dark horizon.
"They were all that stood between you and I. And now, they can never keep me from you."
It was a chilling promise, cloaked in a hopeful threat.
Not yet, Sam prayed. Not so soon…
Sam looked up, peering over his shoulder and straining his neck, to see an older man staring down at him with black eyes. For the first time, Sam was entirely alone with the demon. For the first time, the situation was in his hands and his alone.
"They're…not…"
"Dead? Not quite yet. Dying? Oh, yes," The demon almost laughed, and there was a malicious tone to his voice.
"Please," Sam struggled to stand up, face the demon, witness the torment that has haunted him for so long by staring it straight in the eye. "Let them…go…" Sam paused, the words leaving him without proper regard. Really, he didn't care what he was saying as long as he could spare the life of those he loved. "Do what you want…with me…but let…my family…live…you don't have…to worry about them…anymore…"
Now, the demon erupted with a roaring laughter that made Sam's ears throb.
"Right…I let them live now, so when they devote every second of every day after tonight looking for you and track you down, they can kill me? Surely, you have more common sense in you, boy."
"Damn…you…" Sam clenched his fists, not realizing he must have cut the palm of his hand with a shard of glass earlier, and blood dripped from his closed fingers.
"Not to disappoint you, but you can't damn those who are already damned. Much like you cannot save those who are already dead," the demon's words echoed around Sam in the valley of night he was so trapped in. And then, orange and crimson danced together as flames rose up from the ground, circling the Impala.
"NO!" Sam yelled out, and continued to yell the word until his voice stopped working and he couldn't breathe anymore.
Please—stop—don't—
Sam fell forward, down to his knees as he watched in horror as the fire slowly consumed his entire world. Sam couldn't move. He couldn't run, could hardly stand. And it seemed to him the real Devil's Trap was not to keep evil from getting in, but to keep love from reaching out.
The fire crackled and sizzled and announced its victory so plainly and easily it was if the flames were laughing. Sam didn't believe it could get any worse. Sam couldn't fathom that his heart could shatter into smaller pieces. Sam was defenseless to escape the new, unimaginable pain that struck him bitterly as something other than fire pierced the night.
"Sammy!" a terrified cry, a helpless scream and a desperate plea. "SAMMY!" again and again, Dean's screams filled the air around Sam, suffocated him. His brother was crying out for him as the inferno overtook all that meant the very most to Sam.
And as such, the very best part of Sam was dying now, too. The part that always held on. The part that served a purpose. The part that fought against death, fought to live. All of it was burning away somewhere deep in Sam's chest, in his stomach, and his entire body was ignited with invisible fire. Pain traveled through him soundlessly, leaving only in tears.
"He's going to die knowing you didn't save him," the demon told him, and the truth of the words splintered Sam's soul.
Sam looked up at the black sky, and it began to shine as if made of glass while tears obscured his vision. He waited for a moment, expecting the worst of any nightmarish world to manifest now.
He was being taken to Hell and he knew it.
Sam shut his eyes. He did not care what became of him now, not really…so long as he no longer heard the cries of his brother which he could not answer. For that was the real tragedy. He wanted it to be over now.
"Sam…"
He wanted it to end. Dean's screams seemed so much closer, so much louder.
"Sammy!"
So much more painful. They needed to end. Why won't they go away?
"Sammy! SAMMY!"
So much more real than he feared they would be.
So real.
So close.
So close to where he wished he was…with Dean…
-:-
"Sammy!"
Sam opened his eyes.
The car was swerving on the highway, and Sam almost yelped with surprise fear when John took hold of the steering wheel. Somehow, Sam found his hands cupping his head, and his head was pounding.
Immediately, Sam slammed on the breaks and the momentum pushed everyone forward before the car came to a complete halt.
"What the hell?" his dad sounded nervous, but his tone was that of anger. "What's going on?"
Sam spun around wildly, seeing Dean lying in the backseat and looking at him with glossy eyes filled with concern. Sam just stared and Dean, and Dean just stared right back, and their eyes were locked, neither understanding why they couldn't look away.
"A…vision…" Dean murmured. "You had one…didn't you?" Even in his weary condition, he could tell the toll this particular vision had taken on his little brother. He'd never seen Sam shake so much, cringe so desperately. The other visions hurt but this one almost killed him.
Sam only nodded.
"Dean, please…save your energy—don't talk. Now, Sam, what happened?"
"Are you…okay?" Dean disregarded their father's order, needing and wanting to make sure Sam was okay. He did not pay attention to the disappointment tracing the rugged features of his father's face, only waited for Sam's answer.
"I'll be okay…but dad's right. Save your energy, please," Sam said quietly. Dean tried his best to nod.
John was getting impatient and worried, unable to understand yet what these visions did to Sam…what they did to Dean.
"Is that why you took your hands off the wheel? Why Dean shouted at the top of his lungs to snap you back to reality? Are they…that bad?" John asked. Sam rubbed his forehead, slumping into the seat and wishing he could disappear for while- just forget what he saw, what he felt.
"Not usually…but, God…we don't have time. We need to get off this road, but we need to get to the hospital," Sam pretty much ignored giving the explanation his family wanted, unable to waste the precious seconds ticking away at Dean's life if they didn't get him proper medical attention and fast. He needed to figure out another fast way.
"Wait, what? Why this road?" John questioned, looking around the empty highway.
"He's after us. There was a semi, he possessed the driver…there was an accident. I'll explain more later…right now, you have to trust me."
There was a sense of urgency in his youngest son's voice that John couldn't avoid complying with.
"All right…I'll trust you," John finished, knowing he'd get his answers at the right time.
Sam started to drive, deciding he'd take the next exit and go through town—hoping the cops might take it easy tonight.
Glancing in the rearview mirror again, Sam watched Dean as he stared out the window. He couldn't imagine how melancholy the world must seem to his brother right now.
Sam wanted so much for their father to drive so he could sit in the back with Dean. Even if Dean would argue, he just wanted to hold him, let him know he was there and wasn't going to let him go. He wanted to be right there next to him to make sure he kept breathing and his heart kept beating. Alas, he couldn't. John had a bullet in his leg, thanks to him, although he had no choice. Once Sam accepted that reality, the only other thought that burdened him was why his dad wasn't back there with his brother.
Why didn't John sit with Dean, hold him so he knew it was going to be okay and he shouldn't be scared?
After all that he'd done…all that happened…
You're a guilty coward…Dean shouldn't be alone because of that…
Sam gripped the steering wheel. His thoughts were wandering and right now he knew he had to concentrate, to be alert.
The demon was still out there, and even if Sam averted the car wreck, he didn't know what would be waiting for him down another road, behind another door. He did know that whatever it was…he would be ready. No one was going to die tonight- especially not his brother. Not tonight, not tomorrow, not for a long, long time.
As Sam prepared to turn on the next exit, he looked back again at Dean. His eyes were obviously getting heavier.
"Dean," Sam gently raised his voice. "Hang in there," he beckoned.
Fresh, red blood had swept over his brother's lips. His chest shivered with each inhale, shuddered with each exhale. And then, a moment later, his eyes shut and his head fell back in one swift movement.
"Dean," John called out after Sam let out a whimper without realizing it.
"Dean!" Sam cried.
But Dean did not respond.
Sam applied more pressure to the accelerator and sped down the road.
As he did, his throat shrank as he tried to swallow his fear. His heart pounded ferociously and his ribs felt like they were clawing into his stomach.
A very familiar set of headlights were glaring at him from a mile away…and the distance was quickly evaporating into the night.
"God, no…" Sam screamed so loudly the words were barely audible. He slightly bowed his head and stared straight forward, saying a silent prayer.
Hang on, Dean. Please…stay with us…
Stay with me…
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To be continued…
Well, what do you think? There's more to come, if anyone's concerned…A review would be wonderful to let me know what you thought about this. Please no flames- if you didn't like it, that's fine…just let me know why and if it's something I can improve on. Any comments, questions, all welcome. Thanks for reading.
Silver Kitten
