i guess you could call it a crack fic?

SUMMARY -- Sisters Fuyu and Kikai Hitoame live w/ the akatsuki. Fuyu's hungry and she REALLY wants to eat one of those oranges her elder sister her just bought...but how DO you open an orange? one thing soon becomes clear...not even the akatsuki know how to

Kikai -- me

Fuyu -- my younger sister (she gave me the idea for this ff)

Enjoy!

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Fuyu stood in the kitchen of the Akatsuki lair, surrounded by a mountain of brown paper grocery bags. Kikai, her older sister -- as well as Itachi's girlfriend -- and herself had just gone shopping for the week. It wasn't long after they'd joined the Akatsuki that they found out that what looked like a month's worth of food only lasted about a week here. Seeing as there was a total of 12 people (including themselves) and 9 out of that total were men. Men who got a little toohungry after they trained and tended to eat any and all remaining food.

Fuyu sighed. All that work had gotten her hungry and she knew there was a bag of oranges in one of those bags. She rummaged through quite a few, trying to remember what they'd packed them with. In th ninth -- but far form final -- bag, she found them.

"Yes!" she rejoiced. Now she looked down at the orange. "...now what?" she wondered out loud, "How do you open an orange?"

Suddenly, Kikai burst into the kitchen. Her hair was down -- a rare sight -- and a tangled mess. Her clothes were screwed up and wrinkled, hanging loosely off her body. Fuyu eyed her suspiciously. She looked like she'd been sleeping, but she was strangely out of breath and a crooked and mischievous smile graced her lips. Fuyu raised her eyebrows and caught her sister's eyes. Instantly Kikai's smile disappeared and her expression was now annoyed.

"What?" Kikai sounded like she was in a rush to get back to something important.

"N-nothing. Never mind." Fuyu watched as her sister opened the fridge and took out a Sprite, popped it open, and gulped half of it. "Thirsty?" She teased.

"No, I just feel like chugging down some soda."she replied with teasing sarcasm and smiled.

"Training?" Fuyu asked out of curiosity.

"we were...at first." Kikai answered quickly wishing to get off the subject of what she'd been doing. Again, Fuyu raised her eyebrows as if to say 'we?'. Kikai rolled her eyes. "Itachi and I" She gulped down the last of the liquid.

"Ooh." Fuyu said, as if Kikai's last statement had explained everything.

"Oh, Shut up!" Kikai threw the empty soda can at her younger sister, who erupted in a fit of giggles. "It's none of your bussines !"

"Ok, ok." Kikai was about to leave when Fuyu stopped her, "Onee-san, wait! How do you open an orange?"

"An orange..." She looked at the bright blob, thinking for a minute, "Have you tried biting it?" She asked casually.

"Oh! Right!" But as soon as Fuyu attempted to pierce the tough skin of the orange with her teeth, a ripple of disgust went through her and she made a face that equaled her feeling. Kikai almost fell onto the floor laughing.

"Oh...my...god! I can't believe you actually did that!" she said, still laughing. "Oh, god! That.was.hilarious!" She wiped a tear fro her eye; she was still holding her stomach. "Actually, I don't know how to open an orange. Orokana imouto." Kikai started laughing again.

"Oh, gee...Thanks." Fuyu didn't find it all that funny, "ugh! ew!That was horrible! what'd they put on those, poison!?" Kikai tossed her a Sprite and opened another for herself. "You didn't secretly shake this, did you?" She teased.

"Just drink it." Kikai said smirking. As soon as they'd finished Kikai brought the orange subject back up. "Oi! maybe someone else knows how to open it...maybe 'danna does. C'mon!" She dragged her sister out to the hallway where they accidentally crashed into Sasori.

"Sasori-chaan!" Kikai almost sang.

"You know I dn't likebeing called that." Apparently the puppet master was taking a break from being in his puppets and was walking around as his actual red-haired self.

"Gomenasai SA-SO-RI NO DAN-NA" she teasingly emphasized all the syllables in his name "A-KA SU-NA NO SA-SO-RI we're back from town."

He ignored her typical crazy antics; that was normal after she'd been with Itachi for a few minutes. He couldn't figure out how the most reserved man in the Akatsuki could get this chick so strangely giddy. "Did you get what I asked you?"

"When don't I?" She reverted to talking normally.

"Wonderful. Now move. I need it to finish my latest puppet."

"Yeah, yeah. Great." Now Kikai was doing the ignoring, "Just, could you open Fu's orange?"

"I told you. I'm busy --"

"Do you want to get me mad, 'danna? I was busy too. In fact Itachi and I were training...OPEN IT." she demanded and when Fuyu snickered about her training she gave her a nasty glare -- shutting her up immediately -- then turned her deadly gaze at Sasori, who didn't argue. He stuck his hand out and Fuyu handed over her orange. Sasori tossed it up into the air and suddenly three blades popped out from each of his arms. Swiftly he cut the orange in perfect slices. Ye two sisters were just about to celebrate when...

"Now you may not want to eat it, all of my weapons are covered in my custom poison." Kikai and Fuyu sweatdropped.

"Damn." They said in unison
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