Fed up with Elizabeth being promiscuous, Will takes drastic measures. No, not suicide. He visit's the Devil to gain immortality. In other words, William Penelope Turner decides to become a vampyre. That's not odd, not one bit, don't you all agree? I mean if the one I had unexplained feelings for was cheating on me with every man (or in the female readers case) every woman in the area and then some I would logically visit Satin himself and trade my heart, my life, for immortality. Not to mention I would get to suck blood for the rest of my life. Yup, reasonable to me! Despite what the genre says this story is humor/parody/angst/ and maybe some drama. I haven't got that far yet so we will see.

Disclaimer: I do not own, William, Jack, Elizabeth, or any other Disney related pirate I use in this story. I do however have full rights to Lady Naia (element being that hot, hot fire) and have partial rights to Narcin. Yes there are some OC's in here, but they will not gain a relationship to dear William, or Jack or Elizabeth for that matter. Who wants a relationship with that Elizabeth anyways? Oh, and did I mention that I don't own Dracula either? Or anything that is not Narcin, Lady Naia, maybe Lady Anwen too? Well yeah. Actually Lady Anwen belongs to knightflyer16...

Prepare yourselves for one twisted story! What else can you expect from yours truly?

I adore reviews truly, madly, deeply. ; )

Chapter One:

-FINAL STRAW-

"When the feeling of anxiety arises, seek religion."

"But Will, he means nothing to me! Nothing!" Elizabeth sobbed, gripping his jacket.

"You said that about the last 22 guys. I'm not falling for it 23 times Elizabeth." He yanked away from her. She sniffled, correcting him in her head Well actually 4 of those 22 were women.

"Oh William I don't know what came over me! I love you, I really do. I won't ever cheat again I swear!"

"Says the boy who cried wolf."

"How can I make you trust me?" She wept, wiping her hot tears on the sleeve of her dress.

"You know, there is a saying that goes 'fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. Fool me 22 times and its over'!"

"But Will-" She threw herself on him, crying louder than ever. People in the tavern glanced at them awkwardly. He shoved her away, brushing himself off. Tears formed in his eyes as well.

"Goodbye Elizabeth."

"No, no, no, no! You can't just leave me! What happened to eternal love for each other? Hmmm?"

Are you serious? He thought. A man with blonde hair strolled past them, outstretched his arm and pinched Elizabeth's butt. She giggled and flashed him a grin, then realized Will was still standing in front of her.

"That's what happened to our 'eternal love'. It couldn't grab your bum so you found someone who could!"

"He was just being playful! I don't even know him!" she defended, glancing at him as he walked away. Will shook his head, the last of his tears drying up.

"Goodbye Elizabeth. Goodbye forever." He turned on his heal and stormed out of the tavern.

"Will!" she called after him. He didn't respond to her cry. He inhaled, held it, then slowly let it out as if trying to release his rage. He tightened his coat around his neck when a cool night breeze nipped his chest. As he left Tortuga, the only light given was that of the pale moonlight and dim stars. He treaded through the brush, pushing passed branches and bushes.

Where do you plan on going? Angel asked him. He looked over at his left shoulder where he saw a mini version of himself draped in white robes with a golden halo and harp.

"I don't know," he simply said.

So you just plan on leaving her?

"She cheated on me with the entire town!" he snapped, continuing through the brush.

Don't you believe in forgiveness?

"I forgave her 22 times!"

Ah, but they say the 23 is a charm. Angel nudged Will's neck with his elbow.

You really gonna listen to some transvestite? A puff of smoke appeared next to his right ear, and now standing on his right shoulder was himself dressed in a blood red suit. He bounced his forked staff of the muscle in Will's shoulder.

"Transvestite?" he asked.

Just look at him! How gurlie is he to wear a dress? Men wear suits. Real men do anyways. Demon added.

I've told you time and time again. It's a robe, ok? Angel defended.

Dress. Demon mocked.

Robe!

"Guys, guys!" Will intervened, placing them on a log he had stopped at. "What do you want anyways?"

I am here to help you come to your senses and forgive the girl. Angel said, adjusting his halo.

Feathers' just trying to guide you down the path of righteousness. What you need is to do is take a walk on the wild side. Demon brushed his shoulder off towards Angel.

The last thing you need to do is get in any trouble. Angel warned.

Will glanced back at the town.

What you should do is get her back for what she did. Sleep with 25 people yourself! That will pay her back!

Oh that's disgusting! Angel blecked.

"You two are no help," Will crossed his arms.

Hey, does this help who you will choose to follow? Demon did a double back flip off the log, then cart-wheeled back up it.

"How is this helping?"

No, no he's got a point. Angel admitted, stroking his chin.

Ha! I win! Demon stabbed Angel, the mini Will in robes disappeared with a trace of smoke. So here's what we do. Demon beckoned to him to come closer so he could whisper his plan into Will's ear. When he was done, Will nodded a little concerned about what he was about to do.

"Are you sure this is a reasonable decision for my problems?"

Who said anything about it being reasonable? Demon asked him as if Will was stupid. Get a move on lover boy. Demon poked his staff in Will's direction, eyebrows raised. After prodding the air for a bit he disappeared, all that was left behind was a tiny wisp of smoke.

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Don't you just adore Angel and Demon? Tee hee! More to come soon! Sorry it was so short.