*~*

Kusanagi was drunk.

There was no doubt in Momiji's mind of that fact as she watched him
stare slack-jawed at the ceiling. The TAC was throwing something of a
party to more or less celebrate the fact that they had ensured the
safety of Japan for at least another generation. Kunikida had assured
her that it would just be a pleasant get-together of sorts.

He neglected to mention that Koume was the one who was doing all the
planning.

The brashest member of the group had enlisted an old friend of hers, a
guy by the name of Katsuragi, to bring to the party the biggest damn
cache of beer in all of Japan. "'Cause, y'know," Koume had slurred
early on, waving a can of Yebisu to punctuate her words, "a party
ain't a party wi' out da beer."

That wasn't what stood out most clearly in the young woman's mind as
she watched a very drunk-off-his-ass Yaegashi try to do a striptease
on the coffee table for the ladies; the thing that stood out most was
her boyfriend, the reclusive Kusanagi, sample his first taste of beer.

He didn't like it very much.

"What th' *hell* are you tryin' to make me drink *shouben* for?" he
had yelled right after spewing the mouthful of liquid all over a
shocked Sugishita. He had then proceeded to throw the can at him
(knocking the candy-assed cop out cold) before running into the
kitchen. After the sound of retching was through, he came out with a
couple of cans of Calpis Soda. Momiji was thankful for the drink; it helped
her keep Koume from trying to press some Yebisu beer on her.

At some point, probably after Kusanagi had damn near broken
Sugishita's arm playing jan-ken-pon (or paper, rocks, scissors,
whatever) and slapping him if he lost, Momiji had noticed her
boyfriend acting, well... a little peculiar. He actually joined in
with a raucous conversation Kunikida was having with the ladies (which
was thankful, because Kunikida was boring the hell out of them with
his puns), and began socializing freely. He hadn't gone near the
rapidly dissappearing pile of beer after that first sip, but he was
undeniably drunk.

Of course, the fact that he was now staggering across the room singing
something about the color of her panties was something of a hint
towards that.

She stepped over Yaegashi, who was fighting to keep his boxers on
(Koume having dared him to take it all off), and walked over to
Kusanagi. He looked over at her, his slitted eyes completely
unfocused, and pushed his can of Calpis at her. "Hol' zis," he
slurred, an inane grin on his face, "I get s'more frum th' ki- ki- th'
food place."

Momiji sighed as she watched him struggle off. [Funny,] she thought to
herself, [I didn't smell any alcohol on him....] She sniffed
experimentally at his can; there was no odor to it at all except that
of the milky, bubbly goodness of Calpis Soda. Somehow, as she tilted it, it seemed
to change color....

She poured a bit of it on the floor (it was already so filthy now that
no one would notice) and stared at the blue-green liquid nervously.
"What is this?" She sipped a litle from the can- which was similar to
a indirect kiss, she realized with a thrill- and spit it out
immediately after. "Yuck," she grimaced, chugging the rest of her
soda to get rid of the taste. "What is that stuff?"

It hit her in a flash of intuition that was almost scary. Someone had
spiked his drink.

Smiling to herself at having figured that out, she began to follow his
trail to the kitchen, gently nudging over Takeuchi (who was buck
nekkid and unconscious- as was Kunikida. She shuddered at *that*
sight...) to make way for her to walk.

She stepped on a bottle and slipped, falling flat on her rear. Momiji
picked up the bottle, then brought it to her face excitedly. It was a
quarter full of a blue-green liquid just like she had found in his
drink; she struggled to make out the English lettering on the front.

"Mi- ra- kaa Gu- rou? Mirakaa Gurou?"

"Don' wanna do nothin'... go 'way, will ya?"

The protest came from behind the kitchen door; the teen sprang to her
feet, recognizing the voice, and opened the door-

-to find Matsudaira, who was in a tight leather bikini, busily trying
to unfasten Kusanagi's pants. A whip and other bondage items lay
scattered at her feet; his ripped shirt was bundled in a Baggie and
labeled for DNA analysis.

"Matsudaira!!!" she shouted.

The scientist stopped short, an embarrassed blush coming over her face
as she realized she'd been caught.
"Momiji, Momiji, look-" she tried to reason as the young woman began
to stalk towards her, a murderous glint in her eyes. "I'm just trying
to get some data-"

"Get data on *this*!" Momiji's lashed out; the right cross snapped
Matsudaira's head back, and it was lights out for the good scientist.
She scowled at the unconscious woman before walking over to her
boyfriend. "Kusanagi, are you okay?"

He opened one eye and hiccuped. "Thur- there ya are... was lookin' fer
ya...." She barely mamaged to catch him before he passed out
completely on the floor.

"Some party," she grumbled as she grabbed her boyfriend under the arms
and began to drag him to a back bedroom. "Although...." A wicked grin
came over her face. "I think it's time I did some experiments...
myself."

*~*

"Shouben," for the Japanese-impaired, is piss.