Squall's Driving Test
"Well, today's the day, I taught you all you needed to know, so, ( sniff ) make me proud Squall!" Rinoa patted Squall on the back.
"Alright, I can do this…" he took a deep breath and walked in the building. Zell then jumped out of nowhere and skipped beside Squall.
"Can you not follow me, I'm kinda nervous you know?" Squall asked kind of annoyed
"Sure, everyone's nervous, it's a test, any ways, you don't hafta worry bout it, I made soooo many mistakes and they still let me pass."
"Oh, well, then, I got nothing to worry bout." Squall replied confidently
"Squall Leonheart? Your examiner's here." The secretary called out
"Ok," Zell crossed his fingers, "Good luck man!"
"Heh, like I need it, this will be as easy as…AHHH!!!"
"Why are ya screaming Squall, there's nothing to be…AHHH!!! Seifer!!!" Zell quickly ran off.
"Zell? Zell?!?" Squall yelled in terror
"Well, well, let'see, I'm your examiner! Surprise, surprise!" Seifer said with an evil grin on his face.
"Zell?!?!?" Squall still screaming
"Oh, shaddap! Get in the car!"
Squall slowly walked outside, when he reached the car he saw Selphie running towards the two boys, "Squallllllllllllllllllllll!!! Wait a minute!"
Squall looked at the small girl blankly, "Look! I brought you sunglasses!" Selphie huffed
Seifer sighed, and Zell came running in, "Sunglasses! Cool! Let me see!" Zell shouted as he grabbed the sunglasses out of Selphie's hands. He put them on and stared at the sky.
"Hey chicken-wuss, maybe you shouldn't do that!" Seifer was frustrated
"No really? Zell, go away!" Squall yelled
"You know what? These sunglasses sucks, it can't even block the sun. Now my eyes hurt!" Zell whined.
"Oh Zell, you're such an idiot! These are prescription glasses!" Selphie grabbed the sunglasses and gave them to Squall, "Prescription glasses! Haha! Puberty boy has to wear glasses! Ha! Four eyes!" Seifer laughed his ass off.
"You wear glasses Squall? How come I never see you wear them?" Zell inquired
"That's because I wear contacts!!!" Squall yelled
"Is blue even your real eye color?" Zell questioned, "Let's go Zell!" Selphie dragged Zell away.
At the Parking lot…
"Alright, I'm gonna give you a couple of minutes to get ready. Just pull out when you're ready." Seifer tells Squall.
"Ok. Nothing to worry about." Squall tells himself as he takes a deep breath.
Just then, Squall sees another car drive by, also being examined. Inside was a frightened guy driving with Ward in the passenger seat! In the back was…Laguna!?!?
"Um… do we park now, sir?" The young man asks
"….." answers Ward
"Not yet! Turn left here!" Laguna shouts out. "Aaahh! Watch out!!!"
Ward just rolls his eyes as the car makes a sharp turn right into the building.
"Hahaha! Did I mention your dad and Ward are also examiners? Haha!" Seifer laughs
"Aww man… let's just get this over with." Squall answers
"Okie dokie. Back out and head left…not into your dad of course!" Seifer snickers.
After a while…
"And… make a turn right here." Seifer told Squall, "Okay."
"No, not here, the next one, ( sigh ) amateurs." Seifer replied as he wrote something on the test paper.
"Oh, no, this lane goes onto the highway!" Squall panicked
"I told you the next one! Now look what you did- watch it!" ( BEEP ) "You son of a-" a man started to call out ( CRASH ) "Oops, hehe, I guess that was my fault?" Squall asked, Seifer shook his head and wrote down more stuff.
"Will you stop writing bad remarks about me and help me get off the highway!" Squall took the test sheet and threw it out the window.
"Oh! Now you're definitely not passing." ( SCREECH ) "We're gonna die!"
"I told you to help me, now help!"
"Alright, get out of the driver's seat, let me handle this." And Seifer pushed the brake pedals by accident, "Learn how to drive jackass!" an old woman screamed
"Up yours! Ya old hag!" Seifer called back, "That wasn't very professional." Squall told him
"Well, anyone can make that mistake. Now hurry up and pick up the test sheet again…or we're not leaving!"
"…Whatever" Squall replies as he leaps out and retrieves the precious, precious test sheet.
"That's better, now watch a pro. OUT OF MY FREAKING WAY!!!" Seifer yelled and hit the gas pedal really hard.
Meanwhile…
"I hope Squall is doing really, really, really, really well." Selphie hopped around
"I doubt it." Quistis replied
"Yea, not with Seifer around." Zell piped in
"Seifer!" Irvine asked, "Squall's dead meat….hello ladies!" Irvine says out loud as he sees a group of girls. "I'm …going to talk to those ladies. They seem lost." He explains as he quickly leaves.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Can you slow down a bit? Even a little will be fine! " Squall asked Seifer who's going way over the speed limit.
"Relax, if cops come, I'll just say you were the one driving."
"Huh, that looks like Irvine's car."
"Hey guys!" Irvine yelled over the loud music, there were some girls that Squall and Seifer didn't recognize in his car, "Help! I'm being car jacked!!!" Irvine screamed as he drove away.
"What'd he say?" Seifer asked
"I dunno, something about scratching his ass?"
"Wow, I envy that guy, gets girls and scratch his ass." Seifer sighed
"Hey! Where did Irvine go?" Quistis asked
"I dunno, I saw him talking to some girls out back a while ago." Zell replied
"Talking to some girls? Just talking to some girls? WHO?" Selphie demanded
"I said, I dunno!"
"That flirt!" Selphie yelled
"Relax, they probably dumped him any ways." Quistis remarked
And they did dump him…
"And that's for trying to squeal on us." One of the girls said as they kicked Irvine out of the car all tied up and they drove off. "Wait ladies! I can change! There's plenty on Irvine to go around! ……..Can I at least get my cowboy hat back? Ladies?!?"
"Ok, we're getting out of the highway now. I'm going to stop in there and we can proceed with your test."
"Sure, it can't get any worst." Squall answered
'Failing, failing, Squall is failing now!' Seifer thought to himself, 'Woah! Am I good looking or what?' as he looked in the mirror
"…What." Squall said
"What did you say?"
"I asked do we turn in here or what?"
"Oh, uh, yea." Seifer wept some sweat from his forehead 'I thought he could read minds or something'
'What's his problem?' Squall thought
"Damn, do I look good or what?" Zell asked
"Definitely what." Selphie and Quistis replied
"Hey, you don't have to be mean about it." Zell got bored and turned on the radio….
"I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for…" Seifer sang as he turned on the radio.
"Listen carefully, puberty boy, this song is about me!" he exclaimed
'Oh man, I don't even care whether I pass or fail anymore.' Squall thought to himself
"Oh…YEAH! Watch me break dance!" Zell shouts since he was listening to the same radio station as Seifer.
"Oh, I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for…" Zell sang as he practically rips his shirt off while dancing.
"Gee, Zell's a pretty good stripper" Quistis said.
"Yeah…" Selphie trailed off
"Ok Squall, just back into here an the exam will be over." Seifer said while still humming that song to himself.
"Alright." Squall answered as he backs in perfectly.
"…Damn! You're good! I guess I can't fail you then." Seifer answers. "Plus, I owe your dad for passing me."
'Yes!!! G2 baby!!!' Squall thought trying to contain his excitement
"Well? Did you pass? You better have passed! Or you're OUT OF THE FAMILY!!!" Laguna yells as soon as he sees Squall back
"…I passed. Plus, we don't even live together." Squall simply answered
"Oh ok then. Congratulations son!!! I'm so proud! To me, driving and navigating is very important! That's why your father is so great! Ask Ward or Kiros, I always lead them to safety! Right, Ward?" asks Laguna
"…" Ward rolls his eyes
"Yeah your dad's right! Congrats! Now we both got our driver's license!" Zell says
"Yeah!!! Hooray!" Selphie shouts
"You finally did it!" Rinoa exclaims
"Well I don't have a license, but I still drive! So we can drive together!" Irvine yells
"So? I have my license AND I'm oh so sexy too! I'm too sexy for my shirt…" Seifer began
"Hey! I have that CD in my car!" Zell shouts as he runs to retrieve it
moments later…
"1,2 I'm too sexy for my shirt! Too sexy for…" Zell and Seifer sing as they both dance in sync to the music.
"What a day…at least I can legally drive away from them now." Squall sighs.
