Offense Against the Dark Arts

By: PenDiva

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter - ha! - obviously.

Tom Riddle sat at his desk and watched Dumbledore leave his office. The old man had come in to chat with him, and it had been one of the most tedious and annoying conversations Tom has ever had. He drummed his fingers against the wood waiting for the
door of his classroom to shut.

Finally, it did and Tom stood up looking around his empty classroom. With a few swishes of his wand, he had gotten rid of all the desks, papers, quills, and books. He was never much of a scholar and preferred a hands-on class demonstration. If he had
to be a teacher here, he was at least going to give the kids something they would never forget.

An hour or two later, Tom felt slightly silly for being nervous. Students entered his classroom slowly at first and were confused to find no desks.

Tom just watched everyone file in, thinking that they looked rather tall to be fifth years.

They all grouped together towards the back waiting for something to happen.

When his door had finally closed Tom waved his wand and again all their books vanished. "You won't be needing those today!"

He had to smile at their shocked expressions.

"I'm Professor Riddle, your new Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher. Now please come forward, no need to huddle up in the back like scared penguins."

A few boys snickered and came forward bravely. The rest of the class followed behind.

"I do not like speaking in riddles the way our beloved Headmaster so pleases, but I do enjoy playing games. I think there is no better way to learn."

"So to start off class I want someone - anyone - to jinx me. I want you to hit with me a spell, whatever it may be. Use any method you can think of…" Tom said grinning.

The kids looked around at each other in bewilderment.

Suddenly a Slytherin shot a tickling charm at his Professor who blocked it off so quickly the students barely had time to blink.

Tom took a step back…

Suddenly more spells were being fired. The students had never been told to try and hit a teacher with a spell and they couldn't believe what they were doing.

"Are we allowed to do this?" A Ravenclaw girl asked with straight brown hair.

Tom almost sneered. "Don't think so much about the rules, silly girl. In the real world, nobody cares." The girls face dropped but she quickly had to pick her head up and watch her new Professor.

Tom flipped backward and used it a bit of magic so that he was now perched on the railing leading to his office, ten feet above where he had just been standing.

"Use any method you can think of!"

The kids started to spread out and whisper amongst themselves. Fewer spells were flying.

"Don't give me the advantage here! If you allow me to sit still, even very briefly, I could kill you all in a second. Force me to be on the move."

Now they were starting to get the hang of it. The students were firing any sorts of spells.

The Ravenclaw girl backed up and looked around. Her professor was dodging and blocking and using his weird flying trick to soar around the classroom. Now he was perched on top of a bookshelf with a wicked smile on his face.

The girl waved her wand and watched a stack of fifteen books levitate in the air. Riddle wasn't looking her way. She sent them all in his direction, laughing as he had no way to block all fifteen.

Tom got hit with a book in almost every limb, and he flailed his arms. He refused to admit that he had been surprised by this attack, but as he was falling off the bookshelf he barely cast a spell to soften his landing.

The students stopped and stared at the Ravenclaw girl. "Well don't stop now!"

Tom sent the books after the students who in turn got more creative. They were trying to levitate their professor or send other things flying at him.

"I still don't think anyone has hit me with a spell!"

Finally, five minutes later, a smaller boy managed to trip Tom with a levitating broom and then got him with a stinging hex.

Tom waved his wand and everything was frozen except for him. No more spells were cast and everything in the air hung there. The students all lowered their wands…

Tom looked over at the young boy.

"Ten points to Gryffindor."