Disclaimer- I own nothing. If you don't believe me than think about it. If I owned something, do you honestly think that I would be here writing this story? I think not.
"Ranger, I can't keep doing this!" I yelled at him. "You have to let me in! Stop putting up walls around yourself and talk to me!"

I guess that I should explain this predicament before continuing. My name is Stephanie Plum, and Ricardo Carlos Manoso (Ranger) is my current boyfriend. I had broken up with Morelli for good about a year ago. I just couldn't handle his ultimatums so that was the end of that.

About 8 months ago I was stalked yet again and then kidnapped. And, again, Ranger came to my rescue. It was then that we realized that we were meant to be so I moved into the RangeMan offices with him.

This was our first big fight. And let me tell you, I sucked.

"You know that I hate it when keep things from me! Morelli did that and got me into more trouble than I did on my own!" I yelled.

Ranger had left about a week ago without any word accept a note saying that he had to go on a business trip and that he would be incommunicado. You can just guess how happy that made me.

There's a boat, I could sail away. There's the sky, I could catch a plane. There's the train, there's the tracks. I could leave and choose to not come back. Oh, never come back.

"I told you that I was leaving, Babe! I didn't tell you everything because I want to keep you safe! This is exactly why I told you so long ago that my life doesn't lend itself to relaitionships!" he said in a slightly raised voice.

It always came back to that. I want to know where he is and what he's doing because I care about him but he refuses to tell me because he wants to be protected.

Why doesn't he understand that I don't want to be protected if that means being kept in the dark? If I had wanted that, I would have never left Morelli.

There you are giving up the fight. Here I am, begging you to try. Talk to me, let me in. But you just put your walls back up again. Oh, when's it going to end?

"I want to make this relationship to work but I am so tired of the secrets! I want to be honest with each other, even if it puts me in danger! I can't keep giving you everything and receiving nothing in return! Sure, I get everything that I want that money can buy, but what about the things that I want emotionally?" I yelled.

I didn't want to leave, but if that's what it took to make him understand… so be it.

How far do I have to go to make you understand I want to make this work so much it hurts but I just can't keep on giving go on living with the way things are. So I'm going to walk away and it's up to you to say how far.

"I want to make it work to Stephanie, but you know that I would never willingly put you in harms way! If that's what you expect out of me then get out and come back when you have your head out of your ass!" he yelled.

Ranger had never yelled at me. Now I understood that he was scary when he yelled. I didn't think that he would hit me but it was just one of those normal reaction things when I backed away and flinched at his tone.

He noticed my apprehension and lowered his voice and softened the features in his eyes. "I'm sorry, Babe, I didn't mean to yell at you. I just couldn't handle losing you."

My eyes started to tear up when I realized that I was gone. If Ranger was willing to give up what we had to keep me safe, then it only made sense to think that our relationship didn't matter to him.

There's a chance I might change my mind. But I won't, not till you decide what you want what you need. Do you even care if I stay or leave? Oh, what's it gonna be?

He reached out to me to hold me and reassure me but I backed away from him. I needed to go and if I let him touch me then I might as well forget about it.

"Ranger, I can't do this. I deserve better than to be kept in the dark. I'm going to walk away and when you have YOUR head out of YOUR ass come find me," I said before turning on my heel and walking out of our bedroom door.

Only now I guess that it was his bedroom door.

How far do I have to go to make you understand I want to make this work so much it hurts but I just can't keep on giving go on living with the way things are? So I'm going to walk away and it's up to you to say how far.

I grabbed my purse and jacket on the way out of the apartment, putting on my jacket as I walked. When I got to the elevator, I turned to take one last look at the open apartment door through which I could see Ranger watching me with confusion etched onto his face right outside of the bedroom door.

Good, he deserved it.

The whole trip down the elevator, I was wondering how long he would wait before coming to find me. I loved him, but I was now wondering if he felt the same way about me. I could only hope that he would stop me soon, because life without him was unthinkable.

Out of this chair? Or just across the room? Halfway down the block? Or halfway to the moon?

I got down to the garage and walked outside, walking quickly with silent tears running down my face. I had no transportation because I inconveniently left my keys on the side dish in Ranger's apartment.

How far do I have to go to make you understand I want to make this work so much it hurts but I just can't keep on giving go on living with the way things are? So I'm going to walk away and it's up to you to say how far.

About halfway down the block a hand closed around my wrist and yanked me around. I had just enough time to think, you need to be more aware of your surroundings, before Ranger's lips crushed down on mine in a searing kiss. I kissed him back silently thanking God that he had come after me.

In seconds, I realized that Ranger's tears were mixing with my own.

I pulled away from him and cupped his face with my hands. Our eyes met, "Carlos, what's wrong?"

His gaze never faltered as he said, "It took me way to long to get down those stairs."


The song is "How Far" by Martina Mcbride. It came to me at a random time and I just had to get it out of my head.

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