Title: Clear Vision

Author: Angel

email: valarltd@hotmail.com

Archive: Sure, let me know where

Disclaimer: Almost all canon stuff, and that
belongs to the Great God Lucas, at whose feet
we grovel for scraps of myth.

Type: PoV

Rating: G. You can use 1 damn in a G (2 actually)

Warning: slash implications, but nothing that wasn't
in the actual films.

Pairing: Han/Luke

Summary: Leia comes to grips with what she saw
at the Ewok celebration.


***
Clear Vision
2000 Angelia Sparrow
***



My father used to tell me I could
be as blind as a dzuba when I had my mind
set on something. But I can see now. My
vision is as clear as my mind is confused.

I saw tonight what I should have seen four
years ago.

That's why I'm not asleep, why I'm sitting
out here, staring up at the collapsing
rubble of the second Death Star. The debris
will consume itself in a few weeks.

Blessings, curses and shocks all come in threes.
And in the last twenty-four hours, I've had
my three shocks.

Shocks. Yesterday morning, I was Princess
Leia Organa, only daughter of Bail Organa,
one of the last Alderaani in the galaxy.
I was a leader of the Rebel Alliance. I was
shockingly, disgracefully, totally in love with a
common smuggler.

Tonight, tonight everything is different.
Tonight, I'm still Leia, but my last name
should be Skywalker. I have a brother.
That's all right. I've liked Luke since he
burst into my cell in armor a size too large
and announced he was there to rescue me. It
was just a surprise.

But, the problem is his father. Our father.
The biological contributor of half my genetic
make-up was Vader. My father was Bail Organa,
who loved me.

The Rebellion is over, and the New Republic is
rising, and I remain one of the leaders.

But my lover. Ah!

Tonight, my eyes were opened. It isn't me he
loves at all. And I think I've always known. I never
pieced the hundred little things together, because
I wanted him to love me.

Our whole time together has been replaying itself
all evening. Small things stand out.

Han's panic in the garbage compactor, which made me
think they'd been friends for years, instead of
having met less than two days before.

The way he watched out for Luke throughout the whole
escape. Even while fending off TIE fighters, he
took a second to encourage. And a second is a very
long time in space combat.

They always touched so easily. More like brothers
or lovers than just friends. Even then.

The long periods on shipboard or at various makeshift
bases. In the off-shift, where one was, the other could
usually be found. Whether working, drinking or just
talking, whether there were others around or not,
they were together.

Han charging out into the Hoth night, on a Tauntaun, almost
certain to die, but not willing to let Luke freeze if there
was any chance. I spent that night praying to gods I hoped
weren't as dead as the world on which they had been
worshipped. And once again, legendary Solo luck came
through, beating almost insurmountable odds to bring them
both in safe.

Han not leaving the medcenter while Luke was in bacta.

The way he couldn't tell me he loved me. The kiss stolen
in Cloud City was the last pleasure of a condemned man.
The statement at the bunker was not a lover's confession,
but admiration. Even that last, almost brusque kiss,
closed lipped and with that damnably adorable smirk at
the end of it. I've been kissed romantically, and that
wasn't even close.

Luke appearing moments after the freezing
to rescue us.

The way Luke always seems to light up when Han enters
a room, and vice versa. Luke just shows it more.

Even Han being willing to step aside for Luke and
me to be together. Valuing Luke's happiness over
his own.

Tonight, tonight, I saw clearly the one thing that
pulled it all together. The look. Luke sped his
walk as he saw me, and hugged me hard. He looked
pleased to see me. But the look on his face when
he went to Han... It was relief, love, desire,
security and desperation rolled into one. He
looked as if he would stay there forever.

That is what I see when I turn my eyes to the
spectacular tombstone that marks the end of the
Emperor. That is what I see when I shut my
eyes. In my mind's eye, Luke will always be in
his arms.

That turned all the colored dots into a clear
picture. And I knew what I, a trained diplomat,
should have seen a long time ago.

I understand now. I won't get in the way.