Cold Desert

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"I never ever cry when I'm falling down. I've always been scared of the sound."

~Cold Desert by Kings of Leon

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Tony had five nightmares.

Ezekiel Stane made the count up to six.

But a Stark man was meant to be strong, his father taught him that. Show no weakness, the part of him that was an iron soldier commanded. Be the Avenger, not the aimless, said Fury.

There are so many people inside his head telling him to be stronger, faster, hard. To be the impossible weapon head of what at one time may have been the people but isn't anymore.

He doesn't sleep most nights. He continues to create instead.

Perhaps he thinks this will balance out what he has destroyed indirectly or otherwise.

He flies higher and faster, hoping that perhaps, maybe, possibly. No. But… Could he in any way make up for the lives? Is there enough left in the rubble to recycle and rebuild?

Could there possibly be anything left over of his shattered pieces to rebuild?

Extremis pulls him together, yes, but he spends the rest of the day being slowly pulled apart.

In the night he doesn't scream through the nightmares.

Gold and red.

No one would hear him anyway.