Am I Good Enough?

SUMMARY

Ion likes Esther. He's very conscious of this fact. Loves her, even. He'd give up everything and more if only to see her smile once more. He'd go round the world and Mars to grant any wish of hers. However, no matter how good Ion can be he feels that it is never enough. Never enough, when compared to one, clumsy, silly silver haired priest who seems to affect Esther's life more then he ever could.

STORY

Ion sighed.

It had been three weeks since Esther; newly appointed Queen of Albion had come to Byzantium and he was feeling worse then he had when he'd woken up after the incident with the Goliath Electric Tank. He tried to find a way to spend time with or at least talk with Esther. However, whenever she wasn't in political meetings she was always talking with him. That damn spectacle-wearing, silver-haired, bumbling, pumpkin-headed priest!

She always seemed to be talking with him, smiling as he gestured animatedly with his hands, weaving tales and stories that Ion had always been too far away to hear. He had always seen her smiling face looking at him in admiration. Never Ion, always him. It was almost as if he were mocking Ion with his presence by flaunting his favourable relationship with the young queen. Whilst Ion knew that the priest probably didn't do it on purpose, he couldn't help but feel envious of the man.

Saying that, Ion could see why the young woman favoured Nightroad's company. He was tall, strong and handsome, just the way that many women liked their men but he was also sensitive, something that many women wished their husbands were, plus the fact that he was eager to please and almost adorable when he stumbled over his own feet to do so.

Speaking of the bumbling oaf…

Abel Nightroad was sitting right next to Ion, cleaning his pistol attentively. It was an unusual sight in the Methuselah's eyes. He'd never associated the silver haired priest with any for of brutality or any kind of weapon, so the gun was a bit of a surprise to him when he had first found out that the man owned such a thing. It was even stranger to see the thing in his hand and that he was cleaning it with the kind of care that was usually reserved for when a dog owner brushed down their pet's fur after a bath.

Ion sighed again.

There was no way he'd ever be able to measure up to the priest. For all Ion's speed and fighting skill, Abel's personality was far more suited to Esther's then his own. They were both optimistic and both had a zeal for life that was truly inspiring, even though Esther's zeal was that of youth and Abel's seemed to stem from a source that was so much deeper and even more greatly embedded into his soul. The kind that came from years of hardship before finally regaining control over life, though how Abel had managed the optimism that could only come through many decades of life was a complete mystery to Ion, considering that Abel didn't look a day over twenty five(1). But still, when compared to Abel, Ion had to ask himself 'Am I good enough?'

Another sigh.

"Are you going to tell me what's on your mind?" asked Abel, sliding some such part of his gun whichever way it was supposed to go. Ion didn't know the slightest thing about guns and he didn't pretend to. They were just lumps of metal that fired of lethal little pellets to him. All pretty much the same once you'd seen one, though he had second guessed himself a few times after being on the receiving end of Tres's two guns for the first time.

"What?" asked Ion.

"You're not happy." Abel said as if it were the simplest thing in the world. "Your posture just screams the feeling of defeat and sadness is rolling off you in waves. I just thought that you might want to talk about it."

Ion was surprised before the snappish side of his personality settled back in.

"I do not wish to talk about it with you, Terran!" snapped the Methuselah.

It was Abel's turn to sigh. The Methuselah looked at him and was surprised at just how old Abel looked. It was like he'd aged fifty years when you looked into his eyes and into the swirling blue depths of unidentifiable emotions, far too complicated for a human or even a Methuselah, old or young, to ever understand.

"It's me, isn't it?" asked Abel without needing to. Ion was surprised at how accurately the man hit the mark. It proved his thought that Nightroad could be very canny when he wanted to be "I've done something to upset you without realising it. I apologise if it's my clumsiness that's offended you. Or is it because I'm so upfront sometimes?"

"Why do you have to be so good?" Ion snapped suddenly.

"Excuse me?" That surprised Abel and it only gave the Earl of Memphis the courage to say more.

"Why do you have to be so damn perfect!" snapped Ion. "No matter what you do, the others watch with a smile, you act like an idiot but everyone loves you, you're noticed by her like I never will be." comprehension dawned on Abel's face as he slid some ammo into his gun, clicked the safety on and slid it back in his holster.

"This is about Miss Esher, isn't it?" asked Abel, turning to the Methuselah. Ion blanched for a second before he nodded numbly. "Why do you think those things?"

"Whatever you do, it's always good enough for her." was the bitter reply. "Compared to you, I never seem to be good enough." Abel stood up and Ion turned to him. It was scary how Abel always knew exactly how to get your attention, no matter the situation.

"You will therefore be pleased to know…" Abel began, sounding serene. "That me and Miss Esther are only friends. I will also tell you, just between you and me, that I think she's quite taken with you, actually." He looked round at the Earl of Memphis to give him a smile. "You're better then you think you are, especially in the eyes of those who love you the most. You Grandmother and Esther being amongst the top ten, I'm sure."

"Y-you mean…"

"Yes, I mean." replied Abel. "However, before you start courting Esther, I must warn you; Esther has pretty much adopted me as her big brother. In a sense this conversation is me giving you permission to court her. I will, however, warn you, if you upset Esther, it will be me that you will answer to and you will not like me in a bad mood."

"Understood." replied Ion, trying not to laugh at the idea of Abel punishing him.

"I'm glad we got that cleared up." replied Abel, sitting down again. "I was starting to worry that you'd never stop moping."

Ion sighed, this time in contentment. Maybe, just maybe, he was good enough.


Author's Note:

1. Ion doesn't know that Abel is a crusnik. As far as I know only Mirka Fortuna could possibly have known anything about crusniks during the Trinity Blood series, though he certainly knew afterwards if he had been travelling with the guy.

I do not own Ion, Esther or Abel and I certainly do not own Trinity blood. I make no profit from this.