Stargazing
And to think he once had hopes for tonight.
Laying his head down on the table, Junichi did his best to drown out the sound of the television. It was a futile effort. Even if the volume wasn't turned on to max, his sister squealing and groaning right next to him made quiet impossible. Oh, Junichi, how far you have fallen, he thought bitterly. Two years ago he had a date planned, one year ago he went to his friend's Christmas party, and this year…this year he was watching TV with Miya.
He wouldn't have minded so much if the show was anything decent. But it was a terrible series, Junichi thought, though he had to admit he wasn't a fan of drama and never watched a lot of television (barring the occasional late night specials). But Miya seemed to like it, given how much noise she made over the course of the episode. When it was finally over, she gave a contented sigh, dabbing at the corners of her eyes.
"What a heart-wrenching episode! Doesn't it just make you tear up?" Then, glaring at her brother, she said, "At least, it should have, if some idiot didn't make snide comments every five minutes."
"I couldn't help it," Junichi said. "I've never seen this series before. How was I supposed to know that she was suffering from amnesia? And why did she spend so much time agonizing over who to marry? It looked like a pretty straight-forward decision to me. Except that twist where her lover turned out to be her long-lost forgotten brother, I thought that was kind of weird – "
"Geez, you're such an idiot!" Miya said, crossing her arms. "For one thing, she was suffering from amnesia but regained her memories later. And her long-lost brother turned out to be a foster brother, so they weren't blood-related, and couldn't even be called siblings since they never grew up together. And it was a very difficult choice between…"
As Miya rambled on, Junichi desperately tried to find a way to break her monologue. He had no intention of sitting through an hour-long lecture about a show he had stopped paying attention to halfway through. Hurriedly, he looked at the clock on the wall. "Well, I'd love to talk to you more, but it's getting pretty late. I'm going to bed."
Miya stopped mid-sentence as a grin crept onto her face. "In that case, let me sleep with you! It's been ages since we've done that!"
"No."
Flat-out refusal. Miya pouted. "Why not? I reserved myself for you all Christmas! You need your adorable little sister to keep you company!"
"It's late and I'm really tired. If we sleep together you'll probably snore and roll around all night." And talk.
"I don't do that!"
"Besides, we're already in highschool. It'll be weird if – "
"W-What are you talking about?" Miya said, turning red. "I-I thought it'd be nice for siblings to spend some more time together, and you just had to go and think strange thoughts like that! I can't believe you!" She bit her lip. "I-I'm just worried about you. I know you're just gonna be lonely again, moping over that Christmas two years ago – "
"I'll be fine," Junichi said, getting up from table and walking over to the closet. He was touched that Miya cared so much for him, but her worry was unnecessary. "Besides, the planetarium's too small for two people."
"That place again…"
Junichi gave another yawn. The clock on the wall read well over midnight. They must have spent a good two hours watching television, he realized. He gave an exaggerated stretch, working out the kinks. Despite the vacuity of the show, those two hours had seemed far shorter. Crawling inside the closet, he slid the door shut behind him until it was almost completely closed. He peeked through the crack. "Good night. Can you turn off the lights on your way out?"
The door slid shut. Miya stared at it for a few seconds, an irate glare on her face.
"Idiot Nii-nii! After I spent all the time with you, too!"
Inside the closet, Junichi clasped his hand around the doorhandle, ready to defend against Miya's inevitable intrusion. His sister seemed to think he had stashed away a treasure trove of meat buns inside the closet, he though amusedly. But there was only silence. Miya made no move to force the door. Listening intently, he could make out the gradually fading sound of footsteps and the door to his room being shut. She had left. That was rather strange, he thought. He had expected her to put up a bit more resistance, but he wasn't about to complain.
He relaxed, loosening up his cramped muscles now that he knew Miya wasn't about to jump on top of him. It had been a tiring day, he reflected, walking around town with her, but he would be lying if he said it wasn't fun. That's right, he thought, Christmas used to always be like that. Closing his eyes, he stretched out his hand, feeling for the ceiling that was just inches above his fingertips. Around him glittered countless lights. They were so close and yet so far, just like real stars, just like that elusive romance that had terminated exactly two years ago. His fatigued mind slid into sleep, and in his dreams the memories came rushing back…
"Chance!"
With a loud whoosh, the door to his closet slid open, revealing a smirking Miya. He had just enough time to realize his mistake before she jumped on top of him, knocking the wind out of his lungs. The closet door slid closed behind her.
"Nishishi, you didn't think I'd give up that easily, did you?"
"Miya…"
She was straddling his chest, knees pushed deep into his ribcage. Even as he struggled to breathe, he had to admit he was impressed.
"It was a brilliant plan, right? I walked to the door and closed it, then came back with my shoes off so you wouldn't hear my footsteps. You never suspected a thing!" She giggled. "Now you won't mope all night like you always do."
His lungs felt like they were being pierced my needles. He tried to push her off. "M-Miya…"
"You should be grateful, you know," she continued. "Not everybody is gifted with such cute little sisters. I'm willing to waste a whole day cheering you up. Aren't you lucky – "
"Miya!"
"What?"
"I can't breathe!"
She looked down, apparently just realizing that she was crushing him.
"Whoops." Ungracefully, she rolled off to the side, crashing into the closet wall. The stars shook.
"Ow…that hurt!" she said, rubbing her head. "This place is too small!"
Junichi tried to catch his breath. "T-That's what I've been trying to tell you. There's no way this place can fit two people!"
"It seemed bigger from the outside…"
Squirming, the two worked themselves into a position that ended up with both of them lying side-by-side, squashed against the walls. It was an arrangement that made none of them very comfortable, but Junichi was too tired to eject his sister from his sleeping quarters. If Miya stayed quiet, he thought, he could fall asleep even with the two of them cooped up together like this.
Unfortunately, his sister was much more full of energy than he was.
"Do you have anyone you like?"
He blinked, wondering if he had heard her wrong. "What did you say?"
"I-I said if you had someone you like, idiot Nii-nii! Geez, don't make me repeat myself!"
His face flushed as he fumbled around for words. "W-What are you saying? Did you come here just to ask me that?"
"I was just curious!" Miya snapped. "W-Why'd you have to make such a big deal out of it? Forget it! Just forget I asked!"
Normally he would like to do nothing better, but Miya had seemed strangely serious when she asked the question, and the spirit of that Christmas two years ago bore special prescence tonight. He could not just forget. The question had been on his mind long before Miya had posed it. Did he have someone he liked? Junichi stared up at the darkness, listening to the dull roar of traffic that drifted in from the window. It was not a complete lie to say yes, just as it was not a complete lie to say no. Of course he had someone he liked. He thought Haruka was beautiful. He thought Kaoru was fun to be with. He though Ai was cute. But he knew that that answer wasn't the one Miya was seeking. Did he have anyone he loved, anyone he would confess to at the risk of rejection, anyone he would rather spend time with than anyone else?
"No," he said at last. "No, I don't."
Something like a sigh escaped Miya's lips. "I knew it! Of course you didn't have anyone, otherwise why would you have spent Christmas with me? Nishishi, what a dumb question I asked! As if my idiot brother would ever find a girlfriend!"
His face turned red, all previous seriousness forgotten. "W-What are you saying? Don't insult your big brother! And you sounded awfully happy saying it, too!" A beat, then: "And I'm not an idiot! I'll find a woman who'll love me one day!"
But Miya paid him no attention, perhaps because he had just realized his own self-abasement a second too late. She simpy laughed, clear and light-hearted, her voice filling up the dark confines of the closet. It was a rare, sincere laugh, different from the everyday laughter she had with her friends, though for the life of him Junichi could not figure out why she was so delighted.
"So, are you curious?" she said when the remnants of her laughter faded.
"Curious about what?"
"About who I like, of course!" she said. "Oops. I mean, about whether I like someone or not."
He wasn't, not in the least, but decided to go along anyway. "Well? Do you have anyone you like?"
"I do!" she declared proudly.
This caught him off-guard. Miya was in love? He furrowed his eyebrows. It wasn't completely unexpected. Miya was cute, he knew, not beautiful but certainly far from ugly, and her outgoing attitude seemed like it would make her popular. Nonetheless…
"I hope he's a good guy. Aren't you a bit young? It's not a delinquent, is it? Do I know him? I wouldn't want you to go out with any suspicious guys. You should introduce me to him sometime – "
She laughed again, another crystal-clear laugh that echoed in the cramped space. "Of course you know him! And he's a pretty nice guy, too."
Her statement threw him into another pensive silence. He tried to list all the males he knew, but the list was disappointingly short. Actually, besides him and his father, there was only…
A horrible thought struck him. "It's not Umehara, is it? He might look like a nice guy at first glance, but underneath it he's the biggest pervert you'll ever meet. I swear if he did something to you I will – "
"Ew! What are you saying, Nii-nii?" Miya made a face. "You couldn't pay me to go out with that creep!"
Junichi heaved a sigh. It seemed Umehara hadn't disguise his deviancy as well as he thought. Women all over the world were safe.
"So, who is it, then?" he asked.
"It's you!"
"Oh, is that it?" Junichi said, relieved. "I like you too, Miya. In fact, I'll look you even more if you stayed quiet and let me sleep – "
"Don't brush me off like that!" Miya said. Flinging aside the cover, she sat up, her face bright red. "D-Don't you see me as a woman?"
Junichi laughed. "You? As a woman? Maybe in a decade or so. Right now you're so underdeveloped – Ow!"
"Serves you right!" Miya said, pulling back her fist. "I can't believe you! You have no delicacy! A-After I even…"
"That hurt! What did I do?"
With a Hmmph, Miya laid back down again and turned to face the wall. She curled herself up into a ball, submerging herself into the blankets until her head was almost completely covered.
"Idiot Nii-nii," she muttered, her voice muffled. "I can't believe how dense you are, to not even realize it when a girl likes you…"
"Did you say something?"
"Well, I guess that's a good thing, otherwise you'd have been stolen away a long time ago. There's no helping it, I suppose. I'll just have to make you understand…"
"Look, Miya, I'm sorry I made you mad – W-Whoa! W-What are you doing!"
She had rolled on top of him again, though this time she didn't straddle him – she merely lay on top of him. Since she was shorter, her head only came up to his chin, nestling itself into the crook of his neck. Somehow her arms had found their way underneath him until she was clutching him in a tight hug. She smelled nice, Junichi though, like flowers and perfume and chocolate. Through a mess of touseled hair, he caught a glimpse of a face flushed with crimson.
"M-Miya?"
She seemed not to have heard. Almost hungrily, she began pressing herself against his body, driving her form against his until their silhouette in the darkness melded into one. Her nascent chest pressed against his stomache, her hips against his thighs, her naked feet entangling themselves with his own. Her head was sunken deep into his neck, making him uncomfortably aware of every hot breath against his skin. Gently, she began sliding back and forth, back and forth, all the while emitting soft, passionate sighs that echoed unbearably loudly in the darkness.
His voice came out decidedly higher-pitched than he intended. "A-Are you alright, Miya?"
"Nii-nii…" she looked up at him. Her grinding motion had stopped, though she held him tighter than ever. Her face was unbearably close. Even in the darkness he could make out her eyes, her lips, the dark flush on her cheeks.
What are you thinking? This is Miya, your little sister whom you've played with since preschool…
He made a half-hearted attempt to push her off. What was his sister doing? Was she cold? If he hadn't known better he would've sworn her actions seemed like seduction…yet he couldn't resist even if he had wanted to. Miya was surprisingly heavy. Her arms encircled his like iron, pressing their two bodies so close together it was almost painful. His pulse raced. He could feel Miya's eyes staring at him, piercing him, waiting for him to do something that he only had a dim idea of.
"Idiot Nii-nii," she murmured. "I can't believe you're making me do this. This is embarassing for me, you know? Boys are supposed to make the first move…"
Before Junichi could reply, Miya propped herself up on her elbows, sliding forward until she was level with him. This close up, her eyes shown like diamonds. They glittered brighter than the stars, brighter than the moon, brighter than perhaps the sun, and although he couldn't identify the emotion hidden behind those eyes, he had an uncomfortable feeling that it was something dangerously close to lust...
She leaned down and gently whispered into his ear:
"Here, Nii-nii. Here's my Christmas present…"
