I was listening to this song the other day, after rereading New Moon for the thousandth time, and I realized how much of this song applied to New Moon. This is my interpretation of what would happen if Edward and Bella really talked about what happened when he left her. Written in Bella's POV, read and review, thanks! The song lyrics are in italics.
Disclaimer: I don't own Bella or Edward, or Avril Lavigne's song. Sadly…
I looked away
Then I look back at you
You try to say
The things that you can't undo
"Edward I... It was so hard. The impact that those words had on me. You couldn't undo them. It was rooted," I stopped, staring at Edward, trying to gauge his reaction. He just stood there, a pained expression on his face, staring at his hands. It was unbearable to see him like this, but he had to know how I felt. I couldn't leave this unsaid.
"It was rooted in my mind. The fact that you didn't want me. And nothing could change that."
If I had my way
I'd never get over you
Today's the day
I pray that we make it through
Make it through the fall
Make it through it all"As if you never exited, you said. That was impossible. It could never be like that. Because I would never get over you. You were too important to me. You still are." I heard a sharp intake of breath, but I couldn't bring myself to look at him. If I took one glace into his eyes, those molten gold orbs, I wouldn't be able to continue.
And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it
Cuz I'm in Love with you"I'm sorry Edward, but you need to hear this. From me. I fell to pieces without you. All I wanted was to see your face again. I wouldn't talk about it with anyone. Not Charlie, not Renee, not even any of my school friends. I just wanted to see you again." A tear slipped out of my eye, but it didn't even make it halfway down my cheek. Edward was there, brushing it away with an icy cold hand. His touch sent my heart racing, and I wasn't sure if I'd have enough strength to continue.
He was opening his mouth to say something, but I quickly said, "Wait, Edward. Let me finish." He withdrew his hand but stayed at my side, keeping silent, the only hint to what he was really feeling a tortuous look in his eyes. He hated himself for this. And I hated myself for making him feel this way.
You're the only one,
I'd be with till the end
When I come undone
You bring me back again
Back under the stars
Back into your arms"Please don't… don't be upset. I still want only you, Edward. You are the only one I could be with. Forever. There is no one else in this world that I would stay with until it was all over. You may eave me, but I will never leave you. And when I saw you again, in Italy, the gaping hole you left behind was whole again! That was all I needed. You brought me back together, Edward! Into your arms. The only place I wanted to be." I left out an unsteady breath and finally risked peering at him. Even with my words, he was still horrified with himself. I threw myself at him, my arms locked as tightly as I could make them around him, trying to stop the torrent of self-loathing he had for himself.
He slowly brought his arms around me as well, and pulled me closer to him. I was trembling, trembling from unshed tears, from the strength it took to get these words out, and he comforted me with his own shaking hand. I wanted to badly to kiss him, but I owed it to myself, and him to finish. He knew that, and kept quite, but unwilling to let me go.
And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it
Cuz I'm in Love with youMy resolve had weakened though, and I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. Edward seemed to sense my distress, and tentatively brought his hand up to stroke my cheek, and started to hum. He was humming my lullaby, and to my own horror, I started to cry. I simply couldn't stop myself. But Edward made it okay. He didn't try and stop me; he only held me tighter, and soothed me into tranquility.
Wanna know who you are
Wanna know where to start
I wanna know what this means
Wanna know how you feel
Wanna know what is real
I wanna know everything, everythingI sniffled, and straightened; Edward loosened his hold on m immediately. I had so many questions while he was gone. Where was he? Was he thinking of me? Did he know how much I missed him, needed him? Was it real, or all a dream? Now, in his arms, it was as if he never left. I could read his eyes; he had questions for me as well. There was so much that needed to be said, and so much that we just understood. And he understood that there was more I had to say.
And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it
Cuz I'm in Love with youI'm in love with you
Cuz I'm in love with you
I'm in love with you
I'm in love with you
"Edward," I said. "I'm in love with you." My voice cracked at the end, and I knew I was close to tears again. "I'm in love with you, and nothing will ever change that."
He chuckled then, and I looked up, startled. "What's so funny?" My voice sounded feeble and pathetic to me, which only made Edward laugh a little more.
The corners of his mouth curled up in that crooked grin that belonged to me, and nobody else. "Bella," he whispered, bringing his face, and mouth, a centimeter from mine. "Bella, my silly lamb, I love you, too."
And his lips crashed against mine.
A/N:
Hope you liked it, the song just really spoke to me, which is weird, since I hardly ever listen to Avril Lavigne… R&R please, constructive criticism is greatly appreciated and welcomed, but flaming helps nobody.
Ciao, Bella.
Whoa,, I typed that without realizing Bella also refers to Bella's name, haha. I actually meant it in the Italian word for beautiful, though. But yay for puns!
