Disclaimer: Save the plot and a few characters, all this belongs to the wonderful JK Rowling *bows before Jake and kisses her feet* I ain't makin' no money, so there ain't no point in suin' me.
AN: I've started revising this fiction, tying up the lose threads and such. If things don't make sense, you've probable finished reading the revised chapters and hit un-revised ones:)
Chapter one – Just ask the lonely
Severus Snape could feel her eyes in the back of his neck, and he didn't like it. He tried instead to focus on the cauldron in front of him, and its purple, bubbling brew. But it was no use. Why did she insist on staring at him throughout ever class? Had Sirius used one of his clever spells to attach a note to his back again, like last year? No, that couldn't be it. Lily wouldn't be the only one staring then. There would be collective giggling all through the classroom.
But all the same, he wished she wouldn't stare. It made him feel uncomfortable. And, to no surprise, it affected his concentration he realized as the knife he was using to cut wormwood slipped and made a nasty gash in his finger. He uttered a few inaudible words unfit for use in class, trying to ignore Lucuis Malfoy and snickering sidekicks at the next table.
"I do not recall human blood being on the ingredient list, Severus."
His classmates let out a unanimous snort. Severus looked up at his professor.
"Accident," he muttered, trying to wipe the blood off the desk with his sleeve.
"Let us hope you restrain yourself from any further 'accidents'," Professor Avery said coldly, removing the blood with a swish of his wand.
"And," he added in a more casual tone, "you should go see Madame Nitgale about that cut. Wormwood can be somewhat poisonous…"
Severus didn't argue. Now that the entire class was aware that he had made a mistake, any excuse to get out of it was welcome. Still, he packed slowly, pretending nothing was wrong, and left without meeting a single eye. Especially not hers.
*
Lily Evans returned her attention to her cauldron, silently fuming. She furiously disapproved of the way Professor Avery treated Severus, but there was nothing she could do about it. For one, it would be the safest way to get on Avery's bad side, and that was not somewhere you wanted to be. And secondly, it was also the safest way of having the entire student body of Hogwarts believing, within hours, that Lily Evans had a crush on Severus Snape. Which was a lie, but who would believe that? What she would hear from Sirius alone was enough to put her off the idea, however cowardly that was.
Severus himself wasn't going to say anything either. He wasn't the type. Or, it was hard to determine what kind of type Severus Snape was. He didn't really offer much, if any, of himself. All she knew for certain about him was that he was good at school, particularly Potions. That was why Avery cherished the very few times Severus made a mistake. Ever since Severus had corrected him on a receipt for a Mood-raiser potion in their third year, Avery had treated Snape like air. Foul-smelling air he would rather not have in his classroom.
Not that it mattered much to Snape. It seemed nothing mattered much to him. Outside the only two classes Lily had with him (Potions and Transfiguration), she never saw him anywhere. He wasn't present at school events such as Quidditch matches and Hogsmede weekends, nor could he be found in the halls. On rare occasions she would spot him in the library, but he was always alone and in a corner, and if he noticed her looking at him, it usually didn't take long for him to leave.
She had never seen him smile. Nor had he ever said a word to her. Never even met her eye. She had no reason what so ever to care about him even in the slightest. But she still did. It wasn't a crush. You couldn't base a crush on so little. And his physical appearance wasn't exactly appealing either, with his long, crooked nose, greasy hair and almost sickly pale complexion. Still, there was something unexplainable. Something intriguing. There had to be more under there somewhere, no one could be so (apparently) emotion-less, not even Snape…
*
Glad to find the halls empty, Severus cursed as he climbed the stairs to the hospital wing. It had been a utterly foolish mistake. But, it hadn't been his fault, he decided. It had been Lily's fault. If she could just learn to concentrate on something other than his back, maybe they'd both do better in class.
It wasn't entirely true, of course. He knew very well that mistakes were scarce in his work. But scarce wasn't good enough. If you wanted to be the best (and he did), you couldn't make mistakes. Not even one. But when he did, it helped having someone to blame.
What little pleasure Professor Avery got from spotting his mistake, he didn't care about. It wasn't Avery that motivated him. And he knew he was safe. With his record, there was no way his professor could give him anything but top marks, regardless.
It wasn't his classmates either. Save James and his gang, most of them were mediocre dunderheads who were lucky they could tell their cauldron from a common casserole. Even now, in their sixth year and despite the fact that their OWLs had singled out the most brainless ones last year, there was seldom a potions class without and explosion of some sort. Most commonly, from Sirius Black's cauldron. Not that Sirius was stupid, much as Snape hated to admit it. But, after being showered in some incomplete attempt at a sleeping draft in their third year, Sirius had learned that if you played the wounded man, girls dropped like flies. Snape suspected most of Sirius' explosions were far from accidental.
*
Madame Nitgale was the student nurse, and a little too kind for her own good. She fussed enormously over any little wound, and most students almost wished they would come down with something so they could spend the night in the hospital wing.
"What happened, dear?" she asked Severus while attending to his hand.
"Cut it chopping wormwood," he said shortly.
"Oh dear," Madame Nitgale exclaimed. "Well, you'll have to have some Ervum potion, I'm afraid. Wormwood can be poisonous. But don't worry dear, you'll be all right I'm sure. Maybe you should stay here over the night, just in case. Let me keep any eye on you."
Severus nodded. It wasn't a tempting offer, but he knew from past experience that arguing with Nitgale was pointless.
"Now, this tastes rather bitter," Madame Nitgale warned him, handing him a vial of some dark green liquid. He drank it quickly, trying to ignore it's sickening taste.
"There we are," she said, patting his arm and smiling in a childish way that made Severus wonder if she was going to offer him a chocolate frog for his efforts. "Now, I'll ready a bed for you. Can I get you anything?"
He shook his head, and Nitgale smiled brightly before hurrying off to find him a bed.
An hour later he was tucked into a bed under one of the windows. Madame Nitgale rushed in and out every two minutes, making sure he had everything he needed. ("Water, dear?" "Perhaps something to eat…" "Pumpkin juice?") Severus was on his last nerve when her head popped through the curtains again.
"I don't need anything," he said harshly, but Madam Nitgale just smiled.
"You have a visitor," she said. "Shall I send her in?"
Severus was utterly baffled. Who would be visiting him? He only nodded, and Nitgale disappeared. A few moments later, Lily Evans stepped inside the curtains surrounding his bed. She looked somewhat awkward.
"I came to see how you were doing," she said hesitatingly, keeping a few steps away from his bed. "That cut looked quite nasty."
"I'm fine," he said shortly.
What was she doing here?
There was silence for a few minutes before Lily spoke again
"Does it hurt much?"
"No, I actually like cutting my fingers," Severus muttered with a touch more sarcasm than he had intended.
Lily shifted uncomfortably, suddenly very focused something on the floor.
"Look," he said wearily. "You don't want to be here, and frankly I don't want you to be here either. So why don't you just do us both a favour and leave?"
Lily looked up and gave him a blank stare. Without a word, she turned and left.
Why had he been so cross with her? She was only trying to be nice after all.
'Is it really any wonder you don't have any friends?' a little voice in his head asked, but he ignored it. He was different. That was why he didn't have friends. 'They don't understand me,' he tried to tell it, but only got a snort in return.
*
The only indication of just how angry Lily was, was the determination of her paces. She was walking through the halls back to the Gryffindor common room, trampling harder with every step.
"Stupid, selfish git," she muttered to herself.
Where did he come off treating her like that? She had only tried to be nice to him, he had no right to chase her out of there. It suddenly made sense why he appeared not to have friends now. Who the hell would put up with that?
Sirius Black broke her chain of thoughts as he jumped out from behind a statue, scaring the living daylights out of her.
"'Ello darling," he teased, trying to sneak a kiss.
She pushed him off.
"I'm not in the mood for you today, Sirius," she said, brushing past him.
But he wasn't shook that easily.
"What's the matter, darling?"
Sirius called every girl in school darling, sadly to the enjoyment of most of them. Lily knew Sirius, and therefore didn't swoon that easily.
"Nothing," she said, firmly removing the hand he had flung around her waist.
"Saw you come out of the hospital wing," Sirius remarked, sounding remarkably like Peeves in one of his more annoying moods. "As far as I know, Severus Snape is the only one there at the moment."
"And?" Lily asked casually.
"Oh nothing," Sirius grinned. "Just never figured you to be the Florence Nightingale type, s'all."
"It's called compassion, Sirius," Lily pointed out. "Look it up."
"And since when do you have such strong compassion (he emphasised the word) for Snivellus?" Sirius was clearly enjoying himself.
"I am I only one concerned with the fact that one of our fellow students was poisoned today?" Lily asked, and Sirius nodded.
"If the student in question is Snape; yeah, I'd say you are."
Lily just shook her head.
"We aren't developing a little crush on him now, are we?" Sirius teased.
"Thanks for the confidence," Lily said dryly. "I was worried. You saw the cut. So I went to check he was OK. For the first, and last time, believe me."
They had reached the portrait that covered the entrance to the Gryffindor common room. "Intentus," Lily said, and the picture swung open.
"Now, if you excuse me Sirius, I have homework."
"Oh, don't mind me," he said. "I'm invisible."
"If only," Lily smiled sweetly, and headed for the girl's dormitories, well aware he couldn't follow her there.
She was glad to find the bedroom empty, and flung herself onto her bed. Where did Sirius come off making accusations like that? Her, fancy Severus Snape? Couldn't be done. No one could fancy him, that was plain and simple. He was terrible. He was rude. In fact, she would go as far as to say he was obnoxious. And yet, she couldn't shake that feeling of curiosity she had about him. Why was he like that?
"Forget it, Lily Evans," she said aloud to herself. "He doesn't want you to worry, so don't."
She opened her Arithmancy book, and started reading without taking in a single word.
