I own nothing, just an imagination.
Parenthood
Real life dealt me a massive and sad blow recently in the loss of my beloved Mum, so I haven't written anything in what seems like ages, but this has been sat written on my PC for ages so I thought I'd post it and see what you thought. This follows on from All God's children, and starts at the birth of Jess's baby, so it slightly over laps a little. This will be about Boyd and Grace's home life and not work related, but the rest of the team may feature as the story progresses.
Chapter one – A Baby Is Born
In the hospital delivery suite Jessica was screaming as the contractions intensified, she was still panting, and Grace was holding her hand and breathing with her as they'd practised in ante-natal classes.
"Argh, I want to push!" she shouted at the midwife.
"Not yet Jess okay."
"Try and breathe through it Jess okay, just like we practised."
"Argh, it hurts Grace, I want it to stop hurting."
"I know you do and it will all be over soon, just a little bit longer."
The nurse then interrupted them, "Okay Jess when you feel the next contraction, I want you to push down."
Jess did as she was told, and nearly screamed the roof off the building in the process, it didn't take too much longer for the baby to be born, and within a short time Grace was holding this tiny baby girl in her arms.
After the staff had been made aware of the situation, that Grace and Peter were to be the legal guardians of the baby, and they knew that everything was above board and legal, they automatically treated Grace as the mother, she gave the baby her first feed, and changed her first nappy, Peter seemed to spend all his time with Jess, and by the time they brought the baby home from hospital he still hadn't held her, finding an excuse not to each time the baby was offered to him for a hold.
With the baby at home, Grace was taking time off work, although it wasn't officially maternity leave, she was off for a couple of months whilst they settled into a routine, at which time she would return to work as and when they needed her, Peter was also off for a couple of weeks.
They had decorated a nursery for her, but had decided to keep the crib in the bedroom with them for a couple of months until things settled down.
With the baby asleep in her car seat, Grace headed to the kitchen to make some tea, just as she picked up the kettle she heard her crying, "Grace the babies crying." Peter called from the other room.
"Can you pick her up?"
He looked at her in her car seat hesitating, before picking the car seat up and gently rocking it by the handle, Grace stood in the doorway of the kitchen watching him, she was aware of the fact that he hadn't picked the baby up or held her yet, she had an idea it was connected to the death of their daughter, but she didn't know how to speak to him about it, she didn't want to push him in to anything. She walked into the lounge and placed two mugs of tea on the table for them, the baby was still crying, "She's probably hungry" Grace said, he put the car seat down and Grace lifted Zoe out and held her in her arms, "Can you get her a bottle please?"
"Yeah sure." As he left the room Grace put a bib around the baby, he returned a short time later with the bottle for her, "Here you go," he said handing it to Grace.
"Do you want to do the honours?" she asked him
"No it's okay, you're better at it than me." he said pretending to be engrossed in the TV programme that was on.
"How do you know, you haven't tried."
"No Grace."
"She has eyes just like yours you know, dark eyes, she could pass for yours easily, and when she cries she has little lines on her forehead like a little old man."
He smiled at her "Does she?"
"Yeah look." Grace got up and sat next to him with the baby, the baby stopped crying as soon as the bottle was in her mouth, causing the little lines on her forehead to disappear.
He smiled as he watched the baby, "She's beautiful."
"Peter why haven't you held her yet?"
"Give me a chance she's only a couple of days old."
"Most Dads would be chomping at the bit to hold their new born baby."
"I'm gonna go and grab a shower." he replied, taking his cup of tea with him.
Grace let him go, she didn't want to push him, it would all be okay in the end she knew that, he just needed time, she sat and fed the baby talking to her as she did so, "What are we going to do with your Daddy Zoe eh? He hasn't noticed how beautiful you are yet, but he will, and then he'll be fighting to get to you, you'll be a Daddy's girl won't you?"
With Zoe fed, winded and changed Grace put her down to sleep in the Moses basket in the lounge, and sat watching TV, Peter joined her a short time later, and she decided to speak to him again about his lack of contact with the baby. He sat on the sofa beside Grace, and put his arm around her, she looked at him and he lent forward and kissed her.
"Peter, why won't you hold her?"
"I told you Grace, I just haven't had a chance."
"You find an excuse every time, you walk away."
"What do you want to eat tonight, do you want me to cook?" he replied changing the subject again,
"There you go again, changing the subject."
"I just need time okay." he replied sternly.
"For what?"
"To get used to playing happy families."
"What are you afraid of?"
"I'm not afraid of anything."
"You still think Emma died because you did something wrong?"
"What if it happens again Grace?"
"There is nothing to suggest that it will, Zoe is a healthy baby."
"So was Emma, I go over it in my mind again and again and again, how I put her down, did I wrap her blanket too tight, did I lay her the wrong way, was she too hot, was she ill and I never noticed."
"You need to stop torturing yourself, Emma was a healthy little girl you're right, but sometimes healthy little babies just stop breathing in their sleep, no reason that can be found, nothing that can be blamed, and for the parents, no rational explanation as to what happened, that, and a life time of wondering what went wrong, but we can't not love Zoe because we're frightened we'll lose her."
"I do love her, I love her so much, I'm just so afraid it will happen again, that if I touch her..."
Grace took his face in her hands, "Don't do this to yourself, there is no need, you were not to blame for Emma's death, Zoe's not ours biologically, so even if it was a genetic problem that they never found back then, there is no reason to think it will happen again, no more than we thought it would when we brought Emma home" Grace moved her thumb to wipe away a stray tear that fell from his eye "I never thought we'd have this chance again, especially not at our age, but we have, and I am so happy, I have you, and I have Zoe, and although she's not here at the moment I have Jess as well, now will you hold your daughter please?"
"It seems a shame to wake her up."
"Fine, the next time she cries it's down to you."
