This is my first fan fiction! YAYY isn't that great! Let's get to it.

Naruto POV:

Meow

Meow

I open my eyes to see a giant cat just chilling on my chest. Last time I checked, I didn't have any cats. Especially an obese one!

Just then, a cool breeze flows through my bedroom. I look above my head to see my window is open. Hmm, so this cat broke into my house. This is a verrry clever Kitteh!

My phone rings and the cat licks my nipple and jumps right out of the window. Well wasn't that… awesome. I look at the ID and see it was Sauske.

"Hello?" I say lazily

"I thought you were picking me up today?" Sasuke said calmly. I look up at the clock to see it was 7:30. Damn, I was going to be late for school! I usually drove to school by myself but I had offered to drive him to school today. Yeah, my whip was dope! Jariya had this old mustang and he said he was going to fix it up if I wanted it. I wanted it to be like BumbleBee off of Transformers! And yes, I did rename her to Gennivica. Cool ass name, right?

"Oh shit, my bad, son!" I said trying to act gangsta.

"Ugh, shut up with that gangster shit Naruto. Its not cool when you use it." Sasuke said

"You mad, brah?" I asked just to piss him off.

"Whatever. See you at school." He said

"Iight playa playa!" I said and hung up

I really didn't have enough time to pick out some clothes, so I threw on some sweats and a hoodie.

I looked in Jariya's room to see if he was there and indeed he was. And with a random chick laying all over him might I add. How the hell does he gets girls half his age in bed with him. I have to say, the dude has major skills.

I grabbed my car keys and jetted out of the door. When I arrived in the park-in-lot, I saw Sasuke walking to the main entrance of the school. I hopped out of Gennivica and jogged to him.

"Hey, man." I said as I caught up with him.

"What's up?" he asked

"Dude, the weirdest thing happened to me this morning." I said excitedly

"What is it this time? A frog pissed on your big toe? I really wished that happened." He said

I stared at him and said "No, a fricken obese cat licked my nipple, bro!"

Sasuke looked at me and shook his head "I bet you liked that, huh?"

"Maybe I did!" I said and smirked

We went to our first class which was Kurnei's home economics class. Let me tell you, she is the sexiest teacher there. Every guy in school dreamed about her, and wasn't afraid to admit it.

"Ok class, something is wrong with the school printers so, I guess we aren't doing anything today." Kurnei said

The whole class cheered and started talking. Karin AKA the stalker tried to talk to Sasuke but he completely ignored her! I had to laugh to myself. He was a total doche lord and he still had all of the girls in school.

I turned to my future wife Sakura. She was one fine specimen. She had a boyfriend named Kenji that worked at the ramen shop, but that didn't stop me.

"Hey, babe. Don't you look beautiful today!" I said smoothly

She didn't even look up from the book she was reading. Ok she wants to ignore me.

"What are you reading? Please don't tell me it's twilight, because that's mad gay. Just saying." I said with a shrug

"You're mad gay, and no it's not twilight. She said

"See, that right there is hurtful. It hurts right here." I said pointing to my chest

She smiled and continued reading. She would usually go off and call me an idiot or something. But today, she was acting all calm, cool, and collective.

"Are you cheating on me or something?" I asked. She looked at me and said "Oh no, baby I will never cheat on you. You. . Number. ONE.

I grabbed her book and quickly read the cover. It said "Lost Souls"

"Naurto, you bitch! Give me my book back!" she screamed

"Ah, ah, ah! I need a kiss for my wounds to mend after you just called me a BAD word."

"Bitch, give me my book back, now!" she said

"Oh, Two kisses now. Pucker up, baby!" I said as I leaned in closer to her. She just pushed my head back and reached for her book.

"Kurnei, he won't give me my book back!" Saukura moaned

"Naruto, give her the book." Kurnei said without looking up from her phone

I gave her the book back reluctantly.

"I love you, Sakura." I said

All she did was flip me off and go back to reading her book. Ah, that woman was going to be my baby mama someday.

-LUNCHTIME-

It was ravioli Tuesday so the lunchroom was packed. I went to sit down with the regular clique. It was Shikamaru, Temari, Gara, Neji, Kiba, Tenten, Hinata, Lee, Sakura, Choji, Ino, Sai, and Sasuke.

I Choji and I raced to see who would finish first. Of course I did and I let out a victory burp. Shikamaru shook his head and said "Naruto, you are fucking disgusting."

"Aw, thank you. I know I am classy!" I said and flipped my hair. Everyone laughed and shook their heads

I flirted with Hinata through the whole lunch and all she did was blush and put her head down. She liked me ever since elementary school and it isn't a surprise. I look like a model! But I want her to find a better guy than me.

Then I see Kenji walking towards the table. "Hey, losers." He greeted us

Sai smiled and said "Hello, dick."

Kenji laughed humorlessly and said "Let's go Saukura."

When she got up I told Kenji " Yeah, go and make me some Ramen, bitch." The whole table said OOOO

"Shut up before I rape you." He said. Everyone stopped and looked at him crazy.

I broke the silence. "Uh, gay much? I think you should just walk away as fast as you can, man.

"it just slipped-"

"Walk away as fast as you can." I repeated and he finally did as I told him

AN: Well wasn't that… weird? LOLOL so please comment and tell me if you liked it!