We belong together
Like the open seas and shores
Wedded by the planet force
We've all been spoken for…

We both knew this would have to end sometime. It hasn't all been said and done yet, but it's inevitable. You and me, we lay on the bed together. If we're together, why does it feel like we're so far apart? You're slightly panting from our previous sex and you're arms are wrapped so tightly around me I think it's getting hard to breath. But every moment hurts so maybe it'd be better if I stopped breathing? Then again, you wouldn't let me die. You may not love me, but why waste a wonderfully good fuck?

The room's so quiet except for our breathing. The tattered walls have been long since faded and the bed is so dirty from semen I can't believe I sleep in the slimy mess. You up against me feels so wrong. You ebony black hair tickles my nose annoyingly as we sit here. It's the perfect scene. It's too surreal for me.

The hammer may strike, be dead on the ground.
A net to my hand, a cross on his crown.
We're done if, who we're undone,

Finished if who we are incomplete.
As one we are everything,
We are everything we need…

I somehow manage to twist my tired body so I'm not facing you. It's better when I dream that you're not real and none of this happened and never will again. What a bunch of lies. I then find my voice after all these years and actually talk to you.

"Why can't this be different?" But that's only the beginning. When I get nothing returned I go on. "You're not in love so why do you do this? We're never going to be able to walk down the street, holding hands and laughing like we're happy. We're never even going to tell anyone about this. We're always going to be hiding." My voice sounds so weak from misuse and just the fact that it's you I'm speaking to, but my words are defiant and powerful on their own. It's all so final.

We belong together
Like the open seas and shores
Wedded by the planet force
We've all been spoken for…

You still don't say anything. You know it's true. You, the ideal boyfriend (that's what they think) and every girl's fantasy, are embarrassed to be seen with me, the guy the whole village despises and spits on. I don't blame you. You're too flawless to be looked at as someone who even has relations with a complete fluke. You know I'm right. The great Sasuke Uchiha actually admits it with his symphony of silence.

"Why do you do this, teme?" Damnit. The old nickname slipped out on me. My mouth as again betrayed me. Last time it was worse though. Last time I said 'I love you'.

What good is a life, with no one to share,
The light of the moon, the honor of a swear.
We can try to live the way in which you speak,

Taste the milk of your mother earth's love,
Spread the word of consciences you see,
We are everything we need…

I can feel him burning holes in the back of my head with his eyes. I can feel his anger. I suddenly became very aware of the fact that he's got me trapped in his arms. "Dobe." It's all he says. My old nickname. I suck in a deep breath and let it out. It's all he had to say.

Sakura once told me that Sasuke and me would make a great couple before any of this started. She said we're opposites. She said opposites attract. Well she was right. They do attract. But do they love? I don't think so. This is a good example of that. I remember the look on his face when she said that.

We belong together
Like the open seas and shores
Wedded by the planet force
We've all been spoken for…

He'd narrowed his eyes at her and looked disgusted at such an idiotic comment. She had then shaken her head and took it back, just to make him happy. She likes him and I know it. She's one of my best friends, so why do I do this behind her back? I guess Sasuke didn't really think the comment was so stupid though. Because that night was the first night he came to me and slept in my bed. I regret that night every day of my life.

Suicide was never an option. Somehow he would stop me and make me pay for trying to leave him. And if I did succeed, somehow he'd follow me. And I'm too scared, go figure. Killing him was never an option. He's stronger than me. He's faster. He's smarter. He's overall better than me. There was no way to escape him. I was his.

All this indecision
All this independent strength still
We've got our hearts on safe
We've got our hearts on safe…

I move a bit to loosen his hold on me, but he only tightens it more when I do. I then conclude that I hate this. I hate Sasuke. But there's such a thin line between love and hate. I find myself wishing I were somewhere else. I wish I were in the past. When he and I were friendly rivals. We'd insult each other and fight a lot, but we'd always go out for ramen afterwards. When did this get to be so different?

We belonged together. I knew that, but did he? We were meant to care for one another and be happy in our togetherness. It was like destiny, but something changed. Because, obviously, it didn't turn out that way. Somewhere, deep down, I wish it had ended up that way. I haven't felt happiness in so long.

I look out the foggy window of my apartment and watch the snow. It was cold. Like him. I pull the blankets tighter around us and I feel him breathing on my neck. The breath is so cold. I turn to face him like he was inaudibly demanding of me. His raven eyes glimmer sharply as he kisses my neck and collar bone. He wants more. I just don't have the strength to give it to him, emotionally or physically.

Someday when you're lonely,
Sometime after all this bliss,
Somewhere lost in emptiness,…

I sigh and let him do what he wants. He wouldn't listen to me even if I told him to stop, so why bother trying? I watch and feel as his hands travel up and down my body, trying to elicit some sort of pleasure, but doing nothing of the sort. I'm too used to it. The act has gone bad by now. I don't even attempt to pretend to like it. I want him to know I'm suffering. Maybe he will when he figures it out (fat chance).

My hand catches his chin in a gentle gesture and pulls it up so our faces are level. It's a bold move on my part. I can tell he's pissed. My words come out hopelessly. I already know the answer anyway. I'm just playing up to him.

I hope you find this gift
I hope you find this gift
I hope you find this gift…

"So you really don't love me?" He gives me an odd look and goes back to rough nips and kisses. I've known him long enough to know that's a no. I wish hard that one day he'll find the love I left for him. The love I worked so hard to repress. It's still there and it's just for him. Maybe if he finds it, he'll love me back. I still hope and pray.

"I love you." I whisper to deaf ears that would rather not hear me anyway. Then he pulls me under him and makes 'love' to me again.


-PL

We Belong Together - Gavin Degraw (From Tristan + Isolde)