This is set after "When Drunkard met Flowe Boy" and before "Blue eyes and black curls". You may want to read those first. No beta so mistakes are my own.

Disclaimer: characters are not mine

Jean "Jehan" Prouvaire had always been proud of his ability to keep secrets. When the sad boy with the sunken eyes has stood up for him back in lycée, he had seen the secrets practically screaming at him from behind those eyes. However, as any good secret keeper knows, you can't just ask about these things. You need to wait, and hope that maybe one day the time will be right and the secrets will reveal themselves. Years later, that sad, sunken-eyed boy was his best friend and some of his secrets were held in Jehan's heart.

The first time they went to the café, Jehan had to practically drag Grantaire along with him. He spent a long time trying to decide whether or not he should regret that decision. In the end, the brief look of hope in those eyes so often dead was deemed worth the days of self-loathing it brought with it.

Jehan didn't ask Grantaire to go with him the following week, but he was there all the same. And all the weeks that followed. Watching his friend watch the outspoken blond he'd dubbed "Apollo", Jehan thought he caught sight of a new secret peeking out from those bottomless eyes.

February, as usual, was difficult. February had been difficult for Grantaire since before Jehan had even met him. Even now, years later, he only knew part of the reason why. Those secrets were buried so deeply behind Grantaire's eyes that Jehan didn't think he'd ever be completely free from them.

Along with silence and even more alcohol than usual, February bought with it the first weeks that Grantaire didn't attend the weekly meetings at the café. Catching the frown Enjolras threw his way when he entered alone for the second week in a row, Jehan realised he now had another secret to keep. When asked where Grantaire was this time, he merely shrugged before taking his seat next to Courfeyrac and resolutely not talking about his friend for the entire evening. Grantaire's secrets weren't Jehan's to tell.