Rated M for drugs, violence, and sexual scenes.


When I was a little girl, Daddy was all I thought about. All I wanted. But Mommy was all I had ever known. My earliest memory is of him. This memory portrays the way I always see my parents in the end. At the end of every fight, laugh, dinner, day… It really isn't something I like. But it is something I have come to accept.

Laughter filled the room. A child whined every now and then, but it was never a big deal. A little girl, no older than five, crawled in and out of the green sleeping bag that was owned by the one adult in the room. A smiling man, with a hint of regret in his eyes, laughed and played with the children. Occasionally he would poke and prod the other child in the room, the only one whom seemed to be in the correct mood for what was to happen.

"All right, Fujitaka, it's time you leave," a sour looking woman stood in the doorway, her eyes lingering on the playing children.

"Nadeshiko, please, let me have another hour with the kids," the man, Fujitaka, pleaded. His eyes stared at the woman with contempt and hurt. Shaking her head, though, Nadeshiko addressed the children.

"Kids, come on, it's time for lunch. Leave your father alone," Nadeshiko turned around as she said this, ignoring the groans of the disappointed children.

"Daddy, are you going to eat the chips with us?" the little girl clambered on to the man's lap, giving him a hug. "I'll share with you!" Fujitaka gave the girl a sad grin.

"I'm sorry, Sakura, but I have to go," Fujitaka's voice broke slightly at the end of this statement, but the little girl didn't seem to notice.

"Why not? You don't have to worry about Mommy, she's never in the kitchen when we eat," Sakura explained. Sighing, Fujitaka stood, bringing Sakura up with him. Holding her in his arms, he walked to the door.

"I know, Sweetheart, but Daddy has to go. And I think Mommy is taking you to her friend's house for lunch, anyway." Once outside the door, Fujitaka put Sakura down and knelt beside her. He could already see tears glistening in her eyes, and it hurt him more than anything to think of what she'd do had she been able to understand what was truly going on. "Will you be brave without me, Sakura? Will you take care of your brother while I'm gone?" He ran a finger down her cheek, comforting her. Nodding, the little girl complied.

"How long will you be gone, Daddy? Will you eat with me tomorrow?" she questioned with hope in her eyes.

"I really don't know how long, Sweetheart… but I can't come back tomorrow. Not even on Saturday," Fujitaka mentally flinched at his daughter's reaction; seeing her break down hurt him. "Remember when we talked about being brave? Well, you have to be brave right now. You have to believe I'll come back, because I promise I will. Can you do that for me, Sakura?" Fujitaka's soft voice made the girl's sobs break out, shaking her head as if she weren't sure whether she was saying yes or no.

"Y-You and Mommy don't have to be away from each other. Everyone fights, don't they? Don't they all fight, even when they're a part of the same family?" Her voice was a pitch higher, cracked and sad. Fujitaka's arms wrapped themselves around her, bringing her into a loving embrace.

"Fujitaka, what did I tell you? Get out of here, already! I'm sick of seeing you around!" Nadeshiko showed up at the front door, causing Sakura's sobs to become louder and filled with more remorse. Fujitaka sighed. With one last hug and a kiss on the cheek to Sakura, he stood slowly and began walking towards the driveway, where his bags were waiting in the car.

"No! Daddy, don't go! Daddy!" Sakura wailed, tears staining her face. She tried to run to her father, but Nadeshiko's arms wrapped themselves around the torn toddler, preventing her from moving. Fujitaka moved quickly, though, with his head down. He got in the car as fast as possible, not wanting his daughter to see how hurt he was. Sakura's screams for him was all he could hear as he started the car, shifting gears. He dared to take one last look at his home and daughter, being held back by the woman he once loved. Through a large window he could see his son, sobbing silently behind it as he watched his departure. In that one second glance, Fujitaka's world came crashing down on him. No longer able to take the pain, he sped off.

Even after her beloved father was long gone, Sakura continued to cry. She had to be carried in to the house by her mother, who was more angry than sympathetic. In a single movement, Sakura was silenced. Nadeshiko glared at her youngest daughter, looking past the tears and new red handprint on the girl's face.

"You will be quiet!" she yelled angrily. Sakura bit her lip, turned, and ran. She ran as fast as she could away from her mother.

It's as though that fine line between love and hate grows and shrinks as life goes on. Regardless of all the pain, suffering, happiness, and fun people go through, I don't think anyone grows up. I don't think anyone changes. They just see things in a new light, which could be a change, but the same person is still there. Hypocrisy was never a fad, but always a fashion. Everyone wears it. So I guess I'm a hypocrite, too, along with everyone else I think ill about. So perhaps I'm still the same scared little girl I was more than ten years ago. Perhaps, as much as I would hate to admit it, this brave exterior I think I have is all a fake.

Big green eyes opened up and welcomed the new morning. Silence, however, targeted her mood. Crawling out of bed, she looked cautiously around her room. Faking a sigh of relief, she left her abode and tread down the mountain of stairs that lead to the living room.

"Mommy?" the girl called out to the house. She let off a wave of tension, which hung in the air. Moving slowly throughout the house, she checked every room. Scared of her failure to find anybody, she even resorted to checking behind and under furniture.

"Mommy?" a sob caught in the girl's throat. A feeling of sheer terror enveloped her body as she walk back inside her room and sat on the floor. She repeated the word over and over, trying to find some comfort from it. "Mommy!" it eventually became a scream. A beg, a cry for help. Her screams eventually became inaudible to even her own ears.

The scream continued, going on and on, with nothing to stop it until suddenly a hand covered the girl's mouth. A whisper invaded her thoughts, gradually calming her down.

"Sakura, it's okay. It was just a dream… You hear me, Sakura? A dream!" A man held the shaking girl in his arms, who slowly opened her eyes to look in to the ones of her father. Taking comfort in his words, she clung to him, not yet ready to accept the dream.

I guess I can ask myself the question, Why was I so scared? Well… being abandoned isn't exactly something every child wants.

Life Defeats Its Purpose

Chapter One

Sakura Kinomoto stared out the window, watching a calm park fly by. Her older brother had stretched himself out in the back seat of the car, taking no notice to the scenery. Laughing children, loving couples, and happy friends filled Sakura's eyes as she observed her new home.

"…I don't think you have much of a chance, but it might be worth a try. Maybe then you'll accept this change," a woman with long grey and black hair and striking green eyes brought Sakura to the real world.

"I'm sorry," Sakura intercepted, missing the first half of her mother's statement. "What was that?" she asked this innocently, reassuring the woman driving that she wasn't speaking out against her. However, Sakura's lack of attention annoyed her.

"I said there's a performing arts school here called the Academy of Fine Arts… AFA," Nadeshiko paused, letting her daughter take the information in. "I don't think you have much of a chance, but it might be worth a try. Maybe then you will accept this change," the mother finished, repeating herself. Sakura nodded slowly, dismissing her mother's lack of support.

"Oi, Mama, she'll get in," Sakura's brother added. Sakura turned around, smiling at him.

"Touya, will you try, too? Going to a performing arts school your senior year will look good on your application," Sakura reasoned. She drummed her fingers on her knee nervously when she noticed they'd entered a residential neighborhood.

"Maybe," Touya mumbled, sitting up. Sakura looked at her surroundings, noticing the small, worn houses and yellow, weed-filled yards. "I guess this won't be too much different than our place in Shimoda…" he sounded disappointed, something Sakura noted.

"Touya," she started, wanting to make an attempt to cheer him up. "Small houses are so much roomier! And it will give you more work to do around the house. I know how you love working with your hands," she finished, smiling. Touya gave her a small smile in return.

"Yeah, Kaijuu, I guess you're right. With you around, working on the place will be constant," he smirked as Sakura turned and glared at him.

"We're here, kids!" Nadeshiko stated enthusiastically. Parking in front of a small brick house, the small family slowly got out of the car, stretching their sore muscles from the long car ride.

"Nadeshiko!" An older man jogged out of the house, a bright smile on his face. "Sakura, Touya! I'm glad you all made it safely." He pulled Nadeshiko into a hug and kissed her. Disgusted, Sakura and Touya looked away and started toward the house.

The two entered the small, worn-down house and gave themselves a tour. In only a few steps, they'd found the living room, kitchen/dining room, and a bathroom. Walking down a narrow hallway with Sakura in tow, Touya looked to his left, seeing the master bedroom with a door inside that lead to another bathroom. To his right, he saw a small, empty room. Sighing, he entered, leaving Sakura to stare.

"Touya-kun…" Sakura started, but couldn't find a way to finish. Running his fingers through his hair, the young man nodded.

"Yeah, I know."


Touya breathed heavily as he hauled the last piece of furniture into the small room. Wiping sweat off his forehead, he fell on to the twin bed that he pushed into the left corner of the room. Scampering in behind him, Sakura set the last of the boxes on the floor and claimed the bed across from Touya.

"Kaijuu," Touya sat up and looked at his sister, who was too tired to yell or glare. "Mom and Reed are going out to dinner alone soon. You wanna look around town? We'll take Mom's car," Touya suggested. Sakura thought for a moment. Then shrugging, she nodded.

"You have any money for food?" she asked, taking her wallet out of her pink purse. "I'm pretty sure I used up the rest of mine when we got lunch." Touya thought for a second and fished his own wallet out of his back pocket.

"Yeah, we can probably find some place cheap," he stated. Sakura nodded and stood. Walking over to her suitcase, she rummaged through it until she pulled out a jean skirt and black tank top. Nodding at Touya, she left their room. Touya sighed as he stood up and changed his own clothes.

"Oi! Touya and Sakura! Clow and I are leaving!" Nadeshiko yelled over her shoulder as she walked through the front door. Watching as she pulled herself into her boyfriend's Jeep, Touya scowled. Sakura, coming up behind him, noticed.

"It isn't so bad," she tried. Touya shook his head.

"Mom bought that car for him with her last paycheck. Who knows how long it'll take for her to find a job in this hell hole," Touya turned and headed toward the kitchen, looking for the keys to their own car. Succeeding, he held them up and grinned at Sakura. "How does a night on the town sound, my dear sister?" Sakura giggled as she took his arm, both of them leaving the house.


"Eriol! I got fifty!" A young man with dark hair and amber eyes slammed a fifty dollar bill on the pool table in front of him, smirking at the man with navy-blue hair across from him. "You in or not?"

Shaking his head and chuckling slightly, Eriol pulled out his own fifty and laid it down.

"You know I never back away from a fight, Syaoran," Eriol teased the other male. He laughed and nodded toward two other boys sitting at the bar.

"You boys wanna join up? Teams, a hundred bet," Syaoran offered this as he picked out his pool, tossing Eriol's to him. A man with spiked black hair and another with brown hair grinned and stood.

"Sounds like fun," the black haired one stated, grabbing a pool and his wallet. The other did the same.

"All right, you're definitely with me, Yamazaki," Syaoran clapped his friend on the back. Yamazaki laughed and nodded.

"Damn," the one with brown hair nodded towards Eriol. "So I'm stuck with him?" he laughed. Eriol flipped the older man off and resorted,

"You lose this, Terada, and I'll be sure you won't make it to your next make-out session with Rika." Terada rolled his eyes at the threat and threw down a fifty to join the rest of the cash.

"We set?" Yamazaki questioned. Then, out of nowhere, a tanned, delicate hand snatched up the money and counted.

"Oi! Meilin, paws off!" Syaoran yelled, annoyed. The girl simply rolled her eyes at him.

"How can you guys bet a fair game with no ref?" she reasoned. The other guys complained, but complied. Three other girls waltzed up behind Meilin.

"How much this time?" A girl with long black and purple hair giggled.

As she finished counting, Meilin replied, "Two-hundred."

"Why the low wage, guys?" one of the other girls with light brown shoulder length hair inquired. Yamazaki winked at her.

"Just a friendly game, babe," he grinned and went back to the game. Blushing, the brunette smacked her friend's hand away as she teased her.

"Stop, Rika!" she whined to the girl. The girl's chin length dark brown hair fell in her face as she laughed.

"Chiharu-chan, you know you like it!" Rika giggled. Chiharu dragged her away, mumbling to the other two girls about getting drinks.

Laughing, Meilin sat at a table near the guys' game and nudged the last girl with her. "Ne, Tomoyo, how are things for the showcase?" she asked. Tomoyo opened her mouth to answer, but instead stared at the door.

Wondering what caught the girl's eye, Meilin turned toward the entrance to the bar. Raising a fine eye brow, she nudged Tomoyo.

"Have you seen them around here before?" she asked, intrigued.

"No, I haven't," Tomoyo answered. She kept staring as a tall young man in tight jeans and a white T-shirt pulled out a chair for a much shorter girl in boots, a skirt, and a black tank. Meilin gave an expectant look to Tomoyo, who nodded and stood up. Together, the two girls approached Rika and Chiharu.

"Oi, Rika-chan, you see the couple by the entrance?" Tomoyo asked lightly. Confused, Rika's head darted toward the door, followed by Chiharu.

"Who are they?" Rika asked.

"Newbies barely ever come here," Chiharu added. Nodding, Meilin ordered a drink.

"I don't know how they could have even managed to find this place. I mean, it's disguised by rednecks and trash," Meilin stated, sliding into the stool next to Chiharu. Tomoyo sat next to her, still studying the couple.

"They don't look like they're together," Tomoyo observed. "The guy hasn't touched the girl the entire time they've been here." Meilin took this fact into consideration.

"If that's so, maybe I should go talk to them," she giggled. "The guy looks like he needs a really… nice welcome," she winked at the other girls, who laughed at her.

"Judging from the way he's acting, I doubt he'd want someone like you on his welcoming committee," Syaoran nudged Meiln from behind. "Pay up, Yamazaki kicked some ass," he laughed at Eriol and Terada as they slumped into a table nearby.

"Maybe next time, boys!" Yamazaki laughed as he took half the cash and gave the rest to Syaoran, who regarded the new-comers.

"Seen them anywhere at all?" he asked no one in particular. Everyone else shrugged and said no. Beckoning the bartender over, Syaoran whispered to him, slipping him a ten. Nodding, the bartended made a margarita and walked over to the new girl.

"For you, miss, from a regular," he grunted and walked away. Looking confusedly at the drink, she looked up, searching for the mystery man.

Syaoran, stared at her, trying to catch her eye and drinking a bottle of beer.


"Kaijuu, who the hell gave you that?" Touya glared at the margarita glass and then at anyone else who was in the bar. Sakura shrugged and kept searching, although anyone who looked wouldn't have noticed. Finally, her eyes fell on an attractive man who looked to be her brother's age. Smirking, he raised his beer bottle and mouthed, "Welcome."

Sakura regarded him for a second, debating whether or not she should accept. She glanced at her brother and shrugged, drinking the margarita.

"Kaijuu, it's two in the morning. We should be getting back…" Touya trailed off, glancing at the guy hitting on his sister. Sakura sighed, kicking her brother's leg.

"We never go home this early, especially on a Friday night," she complained. He nodded his head.

"Yeah, but this is our first night here and that dick Reed is around permanently now. No need to piss anyone off yet," Touya resorted, flinching. Sakura finished the margarita and sighed.

"I really hate it when you make sense," she said, looking at him. He grinned and ruffled her shoulder length auburn hair.

"Come on," he left a tip on the counter and walked out of the bar, Sakura following close behind. Before walking out the door, she looked back at Syaoran and waved.


Syaoran watched as the girl waved and disappeared through the door.

"She's fuckin' hot, man," Yamazaki stood next to him, watching Sakura leave. Laughing, Syaoran finished his beer.

"Hell yeah, but did you see the guy glaring a hole in my forehead?" Everyone laughed and stood.

"Oi, let's spend the rest of the night in my basement," Eriol suggested. "Parents are out." He winked at Tomoyo, who smirked and turned around, the other girls following.

"Maybe we'll see you there!" Tomoyo yelled over her shoulder and left the bar, the other girls following close behind while talking amongst each other.

"Again, Eriol, why the hell haven't you two hooked up yet?" Terada asked, rolling his eyes. Syaoran and Yamazaki laughed, while Eriol walked away smirking.

"You guys coming or do I get the girls to myself tonight?"


That's the first chapter! Basically the same as before, I just combined the prologue and first chapter. Now, I will NOT update unless I get reviews! I don't care how many reviews, I just want to know people like this and would like me to continue!