Haven in a Storm
This is my next installment of Bobby Goren and his wife Charli, along with the continuing story of Mike and Bailey Logan.
I am asking, if you will be so kind, to please suspend belief as it pertains to the LO:CI timeline. The writers messed with me since in "Brother's Keeper" Frances Goren's birthday took place in the winter and in "Frame" the weather was warm and sunny, so I'm trying to work with that confusion within my alternate reality. You really think the LOCI writers would take all of us fanfic writers into consideration before they mess with us. : )
As always, thank you to my beta, spookycc, for being my sister, friend and support system. It's very appreciated.
Chapter 1
Molly Logan walked through the cemetery, holding hands with Mike and Bailey. She had never visited a cemetery before and was uncharacteristically quiet as they passed by the stone markers. Her mother had explained to her that they were going to see where Rick had been buried so that she and Bailey both could tell him 'good bye'. The child was nervous, even a bit frightened, but Mike had been quick to assure her that she wouldn't be able to see Rick and he couldn't hurt her or Bailey anymore.
As they came to a standstill alongside a gray stone marker, Molly stood waiting, uncertain as to what was expected of her.
"Is this where he's buried?" she looked up at Mike.
"Yeah, it is," Mike knelt down.
"He's in a box, right?"
"It's called a coffin," Mike told her, aware of Bailey standing back from them, unable to venture closer. In her left hand, she held the bouquet of flowers that Molly had insisted they buy, tightly clenched in her fist as if it would somehow fend off her fears. He glanced over his shoulder, worried about her silence. Although Dr. Kessler had thought it advisable that both Bailey and Molly have the opportunity to put Rick to rest, Bailey had wanted nothing to do with visiting his grave.
"Is it dark?"
"Yeah, but it's OK, because Rick's not really there. I mean, his body's there, but his – soul, is gone someplace else," Mike began to explain, but his voice trailed off when Molly looked at him, obviously confused.
"Like heaven?" Molly asked.
"Well, I…" Mike wasn't certain what Molly understood about heaven and hell, or what information might frighten her. Bailey stepped forward then and knelt on Molly's other side.
"He is in heaven, Baby," Bailey spoke softly. The man had been cruel and unpredictable, but Bailey had to remind herself that while she despised the man, and felt certain he'd burn in hell, she didn't want Molly to fear what might happen in death. "When someone dies, God forgives us all our sins, and if we accept Him, we get to go to heaven."
"But – Rick wasn't nice. He was mean to us," Molly faced her mother.
"No, all the time you knew him, he wasn't nice at all. But he used to be – a long time ago, he was. And he loved Aunt Lily and he had lots of friends. And that's how he is again. In heaven, we get to be with all the people that we loved, who passed before us and we go back to being our best selves," Bailey told her.
Molly said nothing to this, but it was obvious she was considering her mother's words. With the simple innocence of a child, she nodded her acceptance and reached for the flowers that Bailey held and laid them on the plain stone that simply bore his name, his date of birth and date of death.
Mike rose to his feet and Molly took his hand in hers. Bailey remained where she was though, her mind traveling back to the times that Rick had been the man she told Molly about. That Rick had been loving and kind. Bailey felt the tears burn her eyes, knowing that they would never know what had driven him to become so violent, not only with her, but with Lily and his second wife, Cynthia, as well.
"I hope you've found peace, Rick," she whispered. "I have."
Rising, Bailey turned to find Mike's eyes on her and offered him a smile. He held out his free hand and she slipped hers in as they retraced their steps out of the cemetery.
"You OK?" he asked close to her ear, not wanting Molly to overhear.
"I am," she assured him, and knew that because of the love of the man alongside her, she was able to let go of the ghosts that had haunted her and look forward to the future they would build together.
Goren Home
Charli Goren carried the basket of laundry through the living room, setting it on the bottom step to be taken upstairs on her next trip. With Jake and Emma napping, she didn't want to disturb them unnecessarily. She heard the footsteps on the front porch and approached the door before the man had a chance to ring the bell.
"Charli, isn't it?" Frank Goren asked with an uncertain smile.
"That's right," she nodded. He looked different than the last time she had seen him. He was alert, clean-shaven and wearing clean clothes. Although she disliked being distrustful of Bobby's brother, she kept a firm hold on the door to prevent his unwanted entry. "What can I do for you, Frank?"
"Is Bobby here?"
"No, he's working."
"I – I was really hoping to talk to him," Frank ran a hand over the back of his head and Charli thought of the many times Bobby had made a similar gesture. "I wanted to let him know that I've been getting help – that I'm clean and sober."
"That's great, Frank. I'll be happy to tell him for you," she offered him an encouraging smile. "Is your cell phone number still the same?"
"It is," he nodded. "Did – you and Bobby have kids, twins, don't you? I saw them the last time I was here…"
"They're sleeping," she replied, making certain that Frank realized he wasn't going to be allowed inside.
"OK – please, tell Bobby to call me."
"I will, Frank."
"I – I'm sorry, if I scared you the last time I was here. And that I didn't remember we'd met before. You used to visit our mother sometimes – and Bobby brought me to a cook out once, your parents, I think it was. You were there…"
"It was my aunt and uncle," Charli corrected him. The cook out had been in the back yard of the house Bobby and Charli now lived in. Bobby had been so excited to introduce his brother Frank to her brother, Jimmy. It had been different between them then, Bobby had overlooked Frank's problems in an attempt to maintain his family as best he could.
"Wow, I didn't realize… You were just a kid," Frank smiled at the memory. "You and Bobby have known each other a long time, haven't you?"
"Almost sixteen years," Charli told him. "He's a good man, Frank. The finest man I've ever known, and I'd die before I'd let you hurt him again."
"I don't want to hurt him, Charli. I just want to talk to him, to try to apologize. The last time I saw him, it didn't go so well…"
Charli recalled that night vividly. It had been the night that Bobby and Frank had argued viciously and Frank had pushed Bobby too far with his lies and innuendo. When Bobby had found Frank's crack pipe, that had been the end – and the beginning. Bobby had left Frank, lost and alone and come to Charli. It had been the night they'd made love for the first time, the night the twins were conceived.
"I'll tell him you just want to talk, Frank. It's all I can do…"
*************
"Damn it, Charli! I told you that I didn't want you talking to him again!" Bobby stormed later that evening when she told him of Frank's visit.
"I didn't let him in, Bobby and he was very respectful. He looked like he was clean. He was lucid and clear headed…" she began.
"And he wanted to borrow money, just a few dollars to hold him over," Bobby cut her off but Charli shook her head.
"He didn't ask for a dime and I didn't offer. He just wants to talk to you – to try to set things right."
"No! I won't do it," Bobby paced the kitchen, running a hand over the back of his neck and Charli was reminded of earlier that day when Frank made the same motion. "And if I find out he comes to see you again I'll…"
"You'll what, Bobby? Ground me for talking to him? Throw him in jail for trespassing?" Charli remained seated at the kitchen table, unable to believe that this hateful man was her husband. Her Bobby was loving and compassionate, but when it came to Frank, the man before her was cold and unforgiving.
"I don't want him anywhere near you or the twins, Charli. That's all there is to it and this isn't open for discussion," he stated in a way that caused her to fall silent. She refused to argue with him over something that he was so passionate about. She was a spectator when it came to his relationship with Frank.
She had been aware of the drugs and gambling. Bobby had confided in her over the years, telling her of his feelings of shame and helplessness. His inability to help Frank had been one of extreme self-recrimination for Bobby. She had been with Bobby at the hospital after he had been freed from Tate's Correctional. She knew that Frank had been responsible for Bobby's prolonged incarceration. That he hadn't called for help when Donnie had alerted his father that Bobby was in danger. And, although she despised him for that, she also knew that Frank's dependence on drugs had played a role in what had happened. It didn't excuse Frank's behavior, and she would never forgive him for the abuse Bobby had suffered, the worry he continued to suffer over Donnie's disappearance, but the men were brothers and that had to count for something. Hadn't Bobby helped her reconnect with her own sisters after years of estrangement?
"I'm going to take a shower," was all he said as he left her alone in the kitchen, seated at the table.
Charli remained there for a moment, her emotions a mixture of hurt and anger. She saw his cell phone sitting on the counter and did something she never would have, had Bobby at least considered her request. She retrieved his phone and located the piece of paper containing Frank's phone number, programming it into Bobby's phone before she plugged it into the charger and tossed the paper into the garbage.
Sighing, she walked into the study and found one of the new journals Bobby had given her for Christmas. Smiling, she ran her fingers lovingly over the leather bound book as she settled behind the desk. She and Bobby had agreed not to buy each other anything extravagant for the holiday, since they both knew the state of their finances. Instead, they bought clothes and several toys for the twins, who were still too young to comprehend what Christmas was about. On Christmas morning, Bobby had surprised her with the journals, all embossed with her initials, while Charli had given her husband several first edition books she had found by one of his favored authors.
Opening the journal, she gently pressed the spine before locating her glasses and reaching for a pen. She loved her husband more than she could ever express in words, but there were times that he tried her patience and rather than arguing, she found it was better to write her feelings down for later reflection. Of course, there were times when her temper flared and she had no choice but to voice her opinion. During those times, they would enter into a heated debate, sharing their viewpoints before agreeing to disagree or coming to terms with whatever the issue may be.
Charli had cherished her ability to state her opinion without fear of physical repercussions. Her father had not allowed for such freedoms in his home but once she was away from him, she had learned the importance of her convictions. When it came to Bobby's relationship with his brother, Charli knew it was a sensitive issue, and even though she stated her thoughts, she did not believe she had the right to attempt to force him to do anything that he didn't want to. If he chose not to contact Frank, Charli had to respect his wishes and support his decision.
She loved her husband and her life with him, but she had begun to feel uncertain as to his own desire to be in their marriage. Declan Gage was responsible for her doubts, but not without the help of Charli's own insecurities as to her ability to keep Bobby interested in her both physically and intellectually.
Logan Apartment
Bailey Logan was holding Claire in her lap, feeding her some mashed bananas at the kitchen table. Jimmy and Molly were in the living room, playing a game of Chutes and Ladders and Bailey couldn't help but smile at how well the two got along. Molly had been consistent in her hopes that Mike and Bailey would tell her they were having a baby but Mike hadn't broached the subject and Bailey feared bringing up the subject in case it might somehow destroy her new found happiness.
"Daddy!" Molly leapt up from the floor and ran to Mike as he came into the apartment.
"Hey, Little Bit," Mike smiled and collected his daughter into his arms for a hug, before he set her down. "Who's winning?" Mike asked Jimmy and the child beamed brightly at the man's attention.
"Molly is, but I'm catching up," he replied.
"Good job, Buddy," Mike said as he pulled off his leather jacket and hung it on the back of a kitchen chair. He turned his attention to Bailey, leaning down to press a lingering kiss to her lips. "Hi."
"Hi, yourself," she smiled up at him and cupped his cheek gently. "You look tired."
"You look like you're enjoying yourself," he countered.
"I am," she acknowledged. "You want to try?" she offered him the spoon to feed Claire, but Mike was quick to shake his head.
"No, that's OK. But thanks for the offer," he winked at her. "What time is Evie picking them up?"
"She thought she'd be here by seven so that she could get them home and to bed," Bailey replied. "I'll get dinner on the table if you hold Claire…"
"You think that's a good idea?"
"She won't bite you," Bailey began, but then couldn't help but smile. "Well, maybe she will, but you're bigger than her so I think you're safe."
Mike waited until Bailey stood up before holding out his arms to take Claire. The child went to him happily and Mike smiled in spite of his seeming reluctance. He leaned against the counter, speaking with Bailey as she took the pork roast out of the oven that she had been keeping warm. He told her about the afternoon after she left the restaurant, pausing to watch Claire as she pulled at the buttons of his shirt.
"You're a little charmer, aren't you?" he spoke to the child and Bailey's heart constricted in her chest, wondering how he would react if she were to tell him that she wanted to have a baby with him. Would he think she was too old? Would he remind her of his previous comments that he had never wanted children of his own? Bailey knew beyond any doubt that Mike loved Molly, but Molly wasn't an infant and required much less care than a newborn.
Giving herself a mental shake, Bailey called to Jimmy and Molly, telling them to wash their hands and come to the table. She poured each child a glass of milk before preparing their plates. She reached for Claire then, and Mike surrendered his hold, his gaze moving over her face.
"You OK?" he wanted to know.
"I'm fine," Bailey assured him, pushing away her thoughts as the children came out of the bathroom, playfully racing each other to the table. "Slow down," she cautioned them, smiling at their giggles.
Seated around the table, Mike listened to Jimmy and Molly talk about their days in school, his eyes straying to Bailey as she ate in between feeding Claire mashed potatoes. He had never considered himself the least bit paternal, but Molly had changed that impression and he loved her more than his life. But an infant was another challenge all together, and not one he was certain he'd be able to handle. As he watched his wife, though, the thought of watching her belly grow each day with a child conceived in love became an appealing notion.
*************
"I can't thank you enough for watching them," Evie smiled when she waited for Jimmy to gather his backpack and coat.
"It was no trouble," Bailey smiled. "I loved having them. Claire ate the food you sent for her along with some mashed potatoes."
"She eats like a little piggy," Evie laughed. "And she's not picky."
"Daddy held her, but he wouldn't change her diaper," Molly piped in. "I helped Mommy, but Daddy just watched. He didn't even want to touch the dirty diaper…"
"Remind me not to ever tell you any secrets," Mike chuckled. "She's a cute kid, but I'm not ready for the whole diaper thing yet," he told Evie.
"You never changed Molly's diaper?" Evie found that hard to believe, seeing how much the father and daughter loved each other.
"Never," Mike assured her, but didn't elaborate.
"And Bailey was OK with that?"
"I'm ready, Mommy," Jimmy interrupted the adults and the conversation ended as Evie bid them 'good night' and the trio left.
"And peace and quiet returns to the Logan household," Mike sighed with a teasing smile. "Come on, Little Bit, it's time for you to get to bed, school tomorrow."
"I really liked having Jimmy and Claire here," Molly said as she headed towards the bathroom, followed by her mother.
"So did I," Bailey replied. "Maybe we can have them over again, how would you like that?"
"Maybe they could spend the night," Molly suggested.
"Well, we'll see what their mommy thinks about that, OK?" Bailey's voice faded as she closed the bathroom door. Mike turned his attention to straightening up the kitchen and clearing the table, listening to the muted voices of mother and daughter coming from the bathroom.
In all of his life, he had never believed that he could be capable of such happiness, but the simple task of rinsing dishes was pleasurable as he allowed his mind to wander. He found that the ability to make Bailey smile had become key to his own contentment. The sharing of a knowing look or an inside joke between the two gave Mike a sense of right, a sense that, for the first time that he could remember, he belonged.
Goren Home
Bobby lay alone in bed attempting to collect his runaway thoughts. The idea of his brother at his house with Charli and the twins caused an anger and fear that he couldn't describe. Frank could be charming and lovable when the occasion called for it, and Bobby knew how accepting Charli could be. He wanted, no he corrected himself, he needed for her to understand how dangerous Frank was.
Bobby knew from experience how easy it was to fall under Frank's spell and Frank was extremely skilled at deceiving people who didn't know him well. Bobby hadn't always been immune to his brother. He had given Frank chance after chance, and given him money to buy himself out of trouble, only to have Frank show up again needing even more money.
Closing his eyes, the image of his mother sitting forlornly in her hospital bed waiting for Frank on her birthday flashed before him. Even though Bobby had made arrangements to meet with Frank so they could travel to Carmel Ridge together for their mother's birthday, Frank had never appeared, leaving Bobby to go alone. Frances had lashed out at Bobby, blaming him for Frank's absence and Bobby had made no attempt to correct her misconception. In their mother's eyes, Frank could do no wrong, while Bobby could do nothing right.
Draping an arm over his eyes, as if attempting to block out the memories, Bobby's thoughts moved to Charli. He wondered if she had begun to realize what a faulty image she had of him. In all the time they had known each other, her faith in him had never faltered. She had supported him during times that he hadn't even believed in himself and, even when her wisest choice of action would have been to cut all ties with him, she had remained the one constant in his tumultuous life. She deserved better than him. She deserved a man without the baggage that he carried with him.
Charli slipped between the sheets, turning on her side to face Bobby in the darkness. They rarely went to sleep angry with each other, and she didn't want to start now. She reached out to lay a hand on his arm.
"Are you awake?" she asked softly.
"Yes," Bobby replied just as softly, turning to face her.
"I'm sorry," she offered.
"You don't have anything to be sorry for," Bobby said. "I overreacted."
"No, you didn't, not really," Charli told him. "I – I know you and Frank have a history that I can't begin to understand and I had no right to try to talk you into something you aren't comfortable with."
"And I know that you just want what's best for me," he said, moving his arm so that he could take her hand in his, his thumb tracing over her wedding ring as he spoke. "But Frank's a user, Chuck. Has been for a long time. He might not have asked you for anything, but there's a reason he showed up here. My mother's birthday's coming up and he's probably thinking it will soften me up enough to get me to give him another chance."
"And that's not going to happen?" Charli wanted to know.
"No, it's not. It can't, not only for me, but because of you and Jake and Emma. Where Frank's been there's nothing left behind but carnage."
"But, he's your brother," Charli tried again but felt Bobby stiffen and release her hand.
"He's not going to be happy until he destroys me, along with himself – and if that means hurting me through you and the twins, he'll do it without hesitation."
Charli fell silent then but rested her hand back on his and this time, Bobby didn't pull away. But it was also then that she noticed his wedding ring wasn't on his finger. Should she ask? Or, would Bobby only tell her she was being as insecure as Declan accused her of being?
"I love you," she whispered and for the first time since they'd been together, Bobby didn't reply. He was too lost in his thoughts of his family and the hurt that had been left in their wake. Hurt that he was determined didn't touch his wife or children.
*************
Bobby walked through the cemetery, grateful that he had left his overcoat in the car. For late winter, the days had been unseasonably warm while the nights returned to below freezing and this day had been no exception. Bright sunshine poured over the still green grass, a sharp contrast to his dismal mood. Bobby came to stand before the headstone that marked his mother's grave and stood, uncertain what to do now that he was there.
Charli had offered to go with him, but he had refused, doubtful of what his own reaction would be. When it came to his mother, his emotions were tumultuous at best. She had favored Frank, always comparing the brothers and Bobby always came up lacking. He had done the best he could, given the circumstances, but nothing he had done ever seemed to please her.
"You'd be so proud, Ma," he heard himself say the words aloud. "Charli and the – the twins. You'd love your grandchildren. Jake looks like me – Emma's got my nose, but she looks like Charli. I just wish – I wish you could be here to see them…" He broke off as he felt the emotion begin to rise in his throat and his voice cracked.
She had been so angry, so disappointed in him the night she had died. Bobby recalled her reaction to his query as to his parentage. The initial outrage before the admission that she hadn't ever known for certain which man was his father, William Goren or Mark Ford Brady. The evening she died, he had felt that his world had been torn asunder and nothing was as it had seemed.
He had told two people of the possibility that his father was a serial killer, Charli and Declan, trusting them both to keep his secret. The only other person who knew was Elizabeth Rodgers, when Bobby had approached her to perform the DNA test. With the birth of his own children, he had been compelled to learn the truth. The realization that his father was a convicted serial killer/rapist had been beyond appalling, and he now had to live with the fact.
The night he had told Charli, he had expected her to walk away from him. No one could possibly love a man whose father had committed such heinous acts, but Charli had remained unwavering in her love and commitment. Even now, he could hear her response to his comment that 'everything had changed'. Cupping his face in her hands, she had looked him in the eyes and stated very simply:
"Brady's always been your father, Bobby, you just didn't know it. So, you see, the only thing that's changed is the fact that now you do."
Standing in the cemetery, Bobby recalled her words, wishing he could believe them as Charli did. Her faith in him never faltered but for the life of him, he couldn't understand why. He saw himself for the failure he was, a man who couldn't even support his own family. Despite her insistence that she wanted to return to work, Bobby couldn't help but feel guilt over her need to do so. They had entered into a marriage, deeply in love and looking forward to the birth of their children. They had been in agreement that Charli would remain home with the twins until they were old enough to go to school before she returned to work. But he also knew that Charli hadn't realized the depth of debt Bobby had accumulated for his mother's care and his inability to get out from under it.
"Happy birthday, Ma," he spoke the words aloud as he leaned down to rest the flowers against the headstone. It was then that it caught his attention. Tucked alongside the headstone, he'd almost missed it. Picking it up, he looked around to see if he might catch sight of anyone who could have left it, or someone who might have seen who had left it. He looked down to find a gold frame containing a photograph of Frank and himself as children. Who? Frank. But why? To make me feel guilty and finally call him, Bobby assumed.
Goren Home
"Hello?" Charli answered the phone, not recognizing the number revealed by caller ID.
"Do you know where your husband is?" Declan Gage's voice cause Charli's stomach to turn. The last several weeks had been extremely tranquil without his interference.
"My husband is at work, Declan. Do you want me to tell him that you called?"
"I want you to open your eyes and walk away with whatever pride you can muster," the man replied in that tone Charli had grown to despise.
"Walk away? Why in the world would you think I should walk away? I happen to love my husband and he loves me."
"Loves you? Is that why he's been spending more and more time away from home? Because he loves you?"
"He's been working late," Charli told him, keeping her tone as even as possible although the coolness was evident.
"Are you being purposely obtuse? The man's seeing someone else, someone closer to his own age and shared interests. I know it's painful, but you need to know." The man's voice was so hateful as he spoke and it was obvious to Charli that he was enjoying the pain his words inflicted. "You don't still believe he married you because he loved you? He married you so his children weren't left fatherless like he was."
Charli hung up the telephone before Declan could go any farther and pressed a hand to her churning stomach. Bobby's work schedule had been keeping him away much later into the late night hours and when he came to bed, he'd been too tired to do much more than talk for a few minutes before drifting off to sleep. Charli missed their lovemaking but whenever she had tried to initiate an intimate encounter, Bobby was quick to remind her of his fatigue, or worse, he'd simply pull away from her and feign sleep.
The only time he was truly at ease lately was when he spent time with Jake and Emma. At those times, Bobby was the man Charli knew, the man she had married. As she walked through the house, she recalled the evenings he'd come to bed recently. There had been no showers before bed but he slipped in alongside her smelling of soap and shampoo. Was Declan right? Could Bobby possibly be involved with another woman? Charli didn't want to believe that her husband would be capable of such a betrayal, but Charli also knew that Declan spoke the truth when it came to Charli's own inexperience and inability to keep a man as fascinating as Bobby interested in her.
The sound of the telephone ringing again startled her out of her thoughts and Charli was quick to answer it.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Chuck…" Bobby's voice was low and she knew he was at work and didn't want to be overheard.
"Hi," despite Declan's words, Charli couldn't deny her own love for the man on the other end of the phone.
"Do you think – would you be able to get a sitter for the twins later?"
"I could try. Why?"
"I – Well, it's about time I finished cleaning out my old apartment, don't you think?"
"I'd say so, yes," she smiled despite the upheaval in the pit of her stomach. "What time do you want to go over?"
They discussed the time Bobby felt he would be able to leave work, once he'd cleared it with Alex and told Charli he'd stop to retrieve boxes from a local grocery store to use in packing up the remainder of his belongings.
"There's that great little Chinese place, why don't you grab dinner for us?" Charli suggested, thinking that possibly it would give them time alone to talk, something she felt they desperately needed at the moment.
"I will," Bobby agreed easily. "Chuck…"
"Yes?"
"I love you."
"Love you back," came her choked response as she fought back the tears that threatened to fall. She had longed to hear him say those words, but now she doubted he truly meant them.
*************
"And it was just lying on the ground by the headstone?" Charli studied the photo that Bobby had handed her. They stood in the kitchen of Bobby's apartment as Charli reheated the chicken and broccoli in a sauté pan since the microwave had long ago been disposed of.
"I didn't see anyone, but – it had to be Frank," he told her, taking the photo back from her.
"He could be trying to make contact with you anyway he can," she reasoned as she helped herself to a piece of shrimp toast. "I'm surprised he wasn't waiting at the cemetery for you to show up, if he's really that desperate to see you."
Bobby considered her words as he studied the photograph.
"You think – you want me to call him, don't you?" he asked her.
"Do I want you to call him? Yes, Bobby, I do. So that you and Frank can reconcile? No, not unless that's what you want. But, I do think that you need the opportunity for a rational conversation with your brother. You need a chance to tell him exactly why you feel the need to sever ties with him, and if for no other reason to maybe find out where Donny is."
At the mention of Donny's name, Bobby's gaze met Charli's and a smile graced his handsome face. She knew of his desire for information on his nephew. While he had family on his mother's side, they had long ago lost contact when Frances' mental condition deteriorated, so it was understandable he felt a need to connect with Donny.
"I'll have to track down his phone number," Bobby began.
"No, you don't," Charli replied. "I – I shouldn't have done it, but you were so adamant that you wouldn't talk to Frank – and I didn't know what else to do."
"What did you do?" Bobby asked, studying her upturned face.
"I programmed Frank's number into your phone – just in case you changed your mind. I know it was sneaky and I'm sorry but..."
"You don't need to be sorry," he told her with the hint of a smile teasing his lips.
They ate dinner together and while Charli longed to turn the conversation to her doubts and Declan's claims, Bobby was too engrossed in thoughts of the photo and the possibility of getting any information on Donny. There would be time for them to talk later, Charli decided. They'd finish with the apartment, dispose of anything Bobby no longer wanted and take home the items he did and then she would broach her insecurities and Declan's insistence that Bobby not only didn't love her, but had sought the attention of another woman.
After they had eaten, Charli disappeared into the bathroom to pack up the contents in the cabinet and under the sink, before cleaning the small room thoroughly. She heard Bobby moving around in the bedroom as he pulled his remaining clothes out of the closet and sorted them into two piles, one for the Salvation Army and the other pile to take home.
"What else do you want me to do?" Charli asked, joining him in the bedroom.
"I think that's about it," Bobby looked around the empty room. "Let me load up the truck and you can head home if you want. I'll finish up and get rid of all the trash. I need to drop off my keys with the landlord…"
On the way out, Charli realized she hadn't cleaned up after dinner but Bobby was quick to assure her:
"I'll just toss everything. Unless there's something you want, there's nothing worth keeping."
Once the SUV was packed, Charli pulled open the driver's side door and turned to face Bobby.
"I'll be home as soon as I finish here," he told her. He leaned down to press a light kiss to her lips, but Charli came up on her tiptoes to deepen the kiss as she slid her arms around his neck.
Rather than pushing her away, as Charli feared he might, Bobby wound his arms around her waist and pulled her tightly against him as he plundered her mouth hungrily. Their tongues mated as Bobby's hands caressed her like a man starved. He broke the kiss reluctantly, his breathing ragged as he rested his forehead against hers.
"I love you," Charli told him, her voice trembling as she smoothed her hands over his chest.
"I love you, Chuck," he replied with such emotion that Charli cupped his face in her hands and tipped his head so their gazes met and she searched his eyes for any indication that her doubts held merit. Instead she saw her own doubt reflected in his chocolate brown gaze.
"Hurry home," she whispered. "I think we need to talk…"
Bobby waited while she pulled out of the parking lot before returning to the apartment. The kitchen was the only room that required his attention and he knew it wouldn't take long. His gaze fell on a photo album resting on the top of a box he had left by the door and carried it with him to the stove. He laid it on the counter and leafed through the pages as he reached for a fork and speared a piece of broccoli from the frying pan. He lost himself in the memories and sadness that had been his childhood for several moments before he retrieved his cell phone and located Frank's number that Charli had programmed in for him.
When there was no answer, Bobby decided not to leave a message. While he and Logan had worked undercover prior to Mike's retirement, Bobby had encountered a street person who had met Frank. During a conversation, the man had told Bobby that Frank had found an apartment not too far from where a group of homeless men had camped. There were only a few buildings in the vicinity and Bobby felt he would have no trouble in tracking his brother down.
He finished cleaning the kitchen and disposed of all of the left over food and unwanted cooking utensils before he took his final box to the Mustang. He met with the landlord briefly, turning over his keys and verifying his mailing address before heading home. He wanted nothing more than to sit down with Charli and discuss the fears he'd been harboring for far too long.
The sound of his cell phone ringing drew him from his thoughts and he answered with a sigh:
"Goren."
Goren Home
Charli checked on Jake and Emma before she headed into the bedroom to get ready for bed. Bobby had called her to let her know that Alex had called him to come to a crime scene. As she slipped on her nightgown and got into bed, she heard Declan's words replaying in her head:
"Are you being purposely obtuse? The man's seeing someone else, someone closer to his own age and shared interests. I know it's painful, but you need to know. You don't still believe he married you because he loved you? He married you so his children weren't left fatherless like he was."
Tears fell as she closed her eyes in an attempt to sleep. She wanted Bobby to be happy. The man deserved it more than any other person she knew, but she had hoped that happiness would be with her and their children. As she lay alone in the darkness, Charli feared that the happiness her husband sought would be without her.
End Chapter 1
Author's Note: Reference was made to events that occurred in "Shattered Haven" by judyg and "Bum Rush" by spookycc and judyg
