this is my first attempt at a serious story. I'll probably end up writing more, but for now this will have to do.

Chapter one
Remembrance of what is important

Things can change so quickly. Within milliseconds, your whole world can be flipped upside down. Shattered into a million pieces, crumpled like a useless piece of paper. Whether it be the truck the instantly plowed into the side of your car, the cancerous cell which has just completed the final stage of mitosis, or the fertilized egg, which has just begun to divide.

Shayera thought about these ideas as she sat on the window seat in her newly purchased apartment. She thought about all the events which had just briefly happened in the past. The simple thought of what had happened, tore her once steeled heart, to tiny, love bleeding fragments. She had no one now. All the friends who trusted in her abandoned her. Those whom loved her, glared upon her with repugnance.

She cried silently into the comfort of the darkened room. Recalling the events that had cost her, her friends, her loved ones, and her future.

"You never stopped lying. NOT ONCE!" John Stewart was yelling at Shayera.

"That's not true," she said, trying to get in her half of the argument, "I abandoned my home planet, to help Earth. Sure first I was sent here as a spy, but I barely kept in contact. I haven't even talked to Katar in three years. I told him I would not go along with the invasion. He was so pig headed that he still thought I would. I posed on that side so I could see what they were up to. To help you and the Justice League stop them."

"That's all just one big hyperbole. You were with the Thanagarians, until they started loosing!" he contradicted.

"That's not true! I was captured after I freed you from the prison on the main ship. I sacrificed myself to get valuable information that saved the planet."

"You acted selfishly! You only wanted to save yourself." He shot back. His words hit her like a two ton safe.

She was being questioned. It was after the invasion, Earth had become victorious. The League was deciding what to do with their 'traitor'. She remembered giving many interrogations back on Thanagar. She couldn't believe that the League would do this to her.

What hurt her mainly was that the person she loved the most, the person who she'd give her life for (which she almost did), the person who was once willing to give his life for her, was heading it. He didn't care about her anymore. What she did, or where she went didn't even cross his mind. He just wanted her away from him.

"What you did was unforgivable Hawkgirl," that stung her. He used to always call her Shay. "You are being asked to leave the Justice League."

"What?!" she gasped, tears welling in her beautiful jaded eyes, "No I helped you, I would never hurt the league, most of all you John."

"There was a time Hawkgirl, when I could believe those words." She closed her eyes and tears streamed down her face. Her heart was officially broken. Nothing could be worse than this news. She couldn't breathe it felt like someone had kicked the air out of her.

She was asked to leave that very same day. However, she didn't have to leave Earth. She could still remain there, but had to sever all ties with the Justice League. She was not allowed to keep in touch with any of them. It didn't seem to affect them much, they all hated her anyway.

She was in her room at Bruce Wayne's mansion. Collecting objects which she had managed to save from the previous events. She only had two pairs of pants and three tops. She wasn't worried about that she was worried about where to go. If this had happened to her two years ago, she would've known what to do. She was strong then. Not like now, where ever minute was a complete let down.

She knew very well that she would miss each of her friends. Not as the crime fighting team they were, but as the individuals she had come to know them as. Clark was always happy and hopelessly trusting and optimistic. Bruce was very hard to understand and get to know. He had his own world, which everyone had a special part in, and she respected him for that. Diana with her strong choices, and reasoning words, Shay wished that she'd gotten to know her better. J'onn's kindly phrased sentences. He would always hear both sides of an argument. Wally and his childish pranks, he could always make her laugh even in her saddest moment. She wished they were on speaking basis now. And finally John, she loved him so much. She thought that they would always be together. Tears were rolling down her cheeks, as she realized that she would never wake up next to him again, or never feel the soft touch of his lips to hers.

She couldn't take anymore. She collapsed on the bed, sobbing hysterically. Her breathing was becoming irregular, if she didn't stop soon, she'd probably pass out. She didn't care. No one else would either. She was a misfit, a black sheep.

Suddenly there was a knock on 'her' door. She never stopped crying, not even for a second. She never got up and answered the door, she never even acknowledged it. The door knob turned and someone came into the room. She never lifted her head from her hands to see who it was. They were probably in the room to tell her to get a move on and ship out.

Then something surprising happened. Something not so out of the ordinary, but something Shay thought she would never experience again in her lifetime. The figure that had knocked walked into the room, closed the door, and sat beside her. It then took her in its arms and hugged her. She started breathing slower, relaxing. But who was it. Who cared enough for her to break the rules? That no one was to see her off. That no one was to talk to her before or after her departure.

She took a shaky hand and raised it to her pain stricken face and wiped a dreary eye, then looked up at her rescuer. It was Wally. Off all people it was Wally. His glistening green eyes held empathy for her. He brought her forehead to his lips and gently placed an understanding kiss. This made her sob even more.

"Don't worry Shay, you'll get through this." He whispered comfortingly as he stroked her hair.

Finally after weeping solidly for ten minutes, she managed to murmur, "Wally, what are you doing here? You could get in serious trouble."

"That doesn't matter Shay. You've been my friend, and been there through some of my rough times. I'm not just going to leave you because you did something wrong."

"I didn't do anything wrong though," she bawled.

"I know, I know," Wally said as he held her head to his chest, comforting her the best possible way he knew how.

"I don't know what to do Wally. I have no where to go, I'm just a big failure. It'd been better off if I'd just died when Katar tried to kill me" she said memories once again flushing through her head.

He grabbed her by her weak, shaking shoulders with his strong hands. He looked into her deep emerald eyes and spoke honestly; "Don't you ever say that again," his eyes were still focused on hers, unblinking. "Katar was a monster. He was an A-bomb waiting to go Hiroshima on your ass. You took the abuse as long as you could, but we all have our limits. She turned her head so it faced the ground.

"Anyway, I came here to help you. I know you have nowhere to go, and I found an apartment for you." He said letting go of her frail shoulders and putting on a weak smile.

"How could you have possibly known I would need one," she asked as she sniveled.

"Come on Shay. This is the Justice League, the biggest group of stuck up pretentious bastards. How could you not think they were going to keep you in the group?"

"I guess your right. After all I wasn't that popular to begin with."

"Well with John you were..." his voice trailed of. He regretted saying that the moment it came out of his mouth.

"Yeah," Shay nodded her head, while biting her lower lip to hold in tears.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his eyes genuinely held regret.

"That's okay,' she said with a weak smile as tears slide from there hiding spot in the corners of her eyes, "I'm gonna need to get over it sooner or later."

"Well why don't we get you to that apartment, I already made an appointment," he got up and grabbed her bag. Offered her a hand, she took it and stood up. The sat back down on the bed.

"What's wrong?" asked Wally as he stopped from the door.

Shayera masked her pain with concern, "What happens if someone sees you with me?"

"No one will be watching you, and if they are that's why they call me the Flash. Now what's really wrong?"

"Ever since I recovered from Katar's attack I've been getting dizzy very easily. I get headaches, loose my appetite, and throw up a lot." She said holding her knees together, and feeling quite embarrassed.

"Maybe we should go see J'onn?" queried Flash.

"Oh no, if you get caught with me, you'll be kicked out, but I couldn't do it to J'onn and you."

"You can and will," decided Flash.

"No Wally, really. Running me to J'onn will just make me dizzier."

"Oh there is no need for that. I've already called out to him telepathically."

"Flash, no!" she cried in horror, "He doesn't like me remember? He'll get mad"

"On the contrary, I got upset when it was decided for to leave," said J'onn as he phased through the floor carrying a bag. He stood in front of her and gave her a tiny Martian smile, "Now what seems to be the problem."

Shayera was flabbergasted. She had never expected that J'onn to get upset, especially at her departure.

When she said nothing, Wally stepped up to the plate, "Ever since her little near fatal tiff with Katar, she's been dizzy and ralphing on a regular basis."

She gave him on of her glares. Hey, he may be one of her only friends, but that didn't mean he got special exceptions.

"I figured I was just having a reaction to the medication you gave me. That's why I never mentioned anything."

"That may be the cause, but I would still feel more comfortable if I could do a blood test."

"Won't you get in trouble?"

"I will if they find out but..." he opened up the bad with all the necessities to do a blood test. He tightly, but quickly tightened the elastic around her arm to raise her vein. The swiftly drew the red liquid into the syringe. Then put a Band-Aid atop the small abrasion.

"What no Sesame Street ones?" asked Flash. Both J'onn and Shayera glared at him.

"I will do the test and right down the results and give them to Flash to give to you. I'm assuming you two will keep in contact."

"Yeah, I'm taking care of Feathers as she gets her wings steady. Ha get it?" Once again all Wally received was glares.

Needless to say, the apartment was hers after Wally played some charming lines on the Landlord. And her she was the next day. Sitting in her apartment. She was sure glad that she had saved most pay cheques she had received.

Now she sat in her gloomy dark apartment, on the window seat. She watched the rain fall. It was really pouring, as if someone were crying for her. But honestly, who would?

Her apartment was almost empty. Only a bed, a chair and a table, she had received all her appliances with her apartment. Honestly, she didn't think she needed more. Until that was she received the news.

Flash had dropped by her results very quickly that morning. It had been while she was sleeping. In a white paper envelope the contents seemed untouched. Sincerely she didn't care if it was. She just figured that she was experiencing some side affect from the drugs.

She supposed to other people it would be better news, but not to her. This was the worse possible time for this to occur. She was pregnant. And she knew for a fake that the baby was John's.

He'd never talk to her. Her baby would grow up without a father just as she had. But she'd be damned if she was going to let her child live a trashy life like hers had been. She was going to keep this child and love it more than John could. She was always going to be there for it.

Thinking about the position she was in, she touched her belly lightly. Laying her hand gently spread across, she sighed as she thought about the life growing there. She started to view the situation differently. Instead of a damnation, maybe this was a blessing. She laughed quietly as rain pounded against the window. She was going to be one hell of a mother.

Yeah it's pretty different from my funny funny ha ha story. But I hope you enjoyed the first chapter.