HISHH

I gazed at my wife, Grace, and my son, Shaun, walking into the shoe store. I daydreamed about how Grace and I are gonna do things later... it's gonna be fantastic. Oh shit, she's coming back.
"Ugh, it's impossible to shop for shoes in this crowd." she said, holding Shaun's hand. "Where's Jason?"
"I don't know, he was here a second ago." I looked around for him. I saw him wandering in the crowd. "Oh, I see him, hold on." I pushed everyone out of the way screaming his name repeatedly like an idiot. What the hell was I doing? This weird text was floating around saying "Press X to Jason." I must be high. I finally caught up to him, and saw him conversing with an clown. Oh shit, not a clown.
"Daddy, can I have one? Please, can I have one?"
It's your birthday, and your gonna get a shit-ton of presents, and you're bitching about a balloon, you ungrateful little shit? I said in my mind. "Jason, today's your birthday. Imagine all the balloons you're gonna get at your party."
He sighed. "Okay. I guess you're right."
I smiled. "Come on, your mother's worried."
"Okay."
Holding Jason's hand, we met Shaun and Grace in the middle of the crowd.
Ahh, there you are, you sexy bitch. I damned everyone in this crowd because of them keeping my erection from rising.
"So are we all done here?" she says. "I've done my shopping."
"I guess so. We should get home, now. Jason's party starts in 45 minutes." I say. She nods and we go down the escalator and get in our car. I'm a badass dad.