Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts in any way, shape, or form, other than the disc I bought used at EB Games. If I made money from this, it would be cool, but also very, very illegal.

Warnings: Slight language, real estate, Canadian spelling, Xemnas, and lots of gay guys. Like, seriously. Enough gay guys to choke a herd of moose.

Notes: This is set in a country comprised of city-states. It was just easier that way. Government structure currently eludes me, though, so don't ask.

Also, I proofread this twice, so chalk any errors you spot up to my cold medication.


Axel supposed he'd always known that his boss was a few cards shy of a full deck. Not that the man was stupid in any way, because Xemnas could be quite brilliant at times. There were other times, though, when the man did something that seriously made Axel doubt his boss' sanity. Now was one of those times.

"You want me to do what?"

"I said, I want you to attend this charity event on my behalf," Xemnas repeated slowly, his eyes boring into Axel.

"Yeah, but why?"

"Because it is important that we maintain a positive community image if we are to obtain our ultimate goal."

That was another thing that made Axel question the possibility of a room with padded walls for his boss: his 'ultimate goal.' He'd been mentioning it rather incessantly to the redhead since his interview a year prior, after the company he'd worked for shut down.


"So, Axel, you want to work in real estate." Though it was a statement rather than a question, he felt the need to nod in affirmation. "You don't have any previous experience, though, nor do you have a degree or diploma relating to real estate."

"No, Sir." Axel shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"And yet you felt the need to apply to my company?"

"Well, I moved around a lot as a kid before my parents settled down here in Twilight Town, so I've had a lot of experience with different houses, not to mention realtors," he explained, trying to sell himself to the company founder. "And I always did research on the places I was demolishing at the construction company, so I probably know about as much as any kid with a degree about architecture, and obviously some engineering."

Xemnas seemed to consider this as he leaned closer over the desk, hands pressed together. "But why real estate? Why not apply to another construction company as a demolitions expert?"

"Honestly? As fun as blowing houses up was, I'd like to see them stay up for a change, and be a part of keeping a building standing in the hands of someone who will take care of it." This was, of course, bullshit. Axel loved nothing more than to flip a switch and watch a structure go down with a bang. He figured, however, that something more heartfelt that would put the real estate business in a positive light would be the better way to go. Besides, the real estate company paid more, and Axel needed the money now that his parents had kicked him out so that he could learn some independence.

"Do you have an ultimate goal, Axel? Something you would devote your entire being to if you could?"

"Not really, Sir."

"I see."

The redhead couldn't tell whether or not his answer had displeased his prospective employer, so he hazarded the conversational question, "Do you have an ultimate goal, Sir?"

Gracefully the powerful man rose from his chair and walked toward the large windows that looked out upon the whole of Twilight Town. "I would like my company to have prestige, a reputation as the best in real estate. In order to do that, we must secure the most prestigious property in the country: Kingdom Hearts!" His arms spread wide to emphasize the obvious grandeur of the property in question, and he turned back to Axel with an almost fanatical gleam in his eye.

"That sounds…," batshit insane, "awesome."

He'd gotten a phone call a few days later, proclaiming him the proud owner of the eighth desk at Organization Realtors.


"Right, the ultimate goal." Axel sighed. "So why are you sending me? Why not someone else?"

"All members ranking above you have had a turn at social niceties, and now it's yours."

Clearly he wasn't going to be talking his way out of this job. "Fine, fine. I gotcha. Where is this thing and what's it for?"

Xemnas reached into one of his desk drawers and pulled out the beige card, sliding it across the polished wooden surface as he spoke. "Funds are being raised to build a new wing of the hospital on the city-state of Destiny Island, and a ball is being held to unveil the plans and models to possible corporate and private sponsors. The Organization will be making a sizeable donation to the project, and therefore someone must make an appearance."

"Destiny Island, huh? That's a pretty far trip just for some shindig."

"Which is why you will be spending a week there. In addition to personally handing the cheque over to the chairman of the hospital board, you will research the city for any valuable or interesting properties to acquire. Prepare to board your gummi ship tomorrow, you'll find your tickets on your desk this afternoon."

Axel rose to leave, hearing the dismissal in the other man's voice. As he reached for the knob, Xemnas added one final comment.

"If I find out that you spent this trip on the beach eating ice cream, you will find yourself once again in the darkness of unemployment."


"Demyx, I'm telling you, the guy needs to be committed," the redhead complained into the cordless phone as he searched through his disorganized dresser to come up with a week's worth of clean socks. He'd dialed the familiar number as soon as he'd come home, since the other man had been away from the office, on business in Atlantica.

"Aw, come on, Axel. He's not that bad. He's just a bit – Zexy, turn here. …Yes, I'm sure; I'm the one with the map and instructions in my lap. …Where are you going? You just missed the turn! Go back, dammit! …Sorry, Axel."

"And that's another thing: how come you get to go on a two-day property tour with a partner, who, I might add, happens to conveniently also be your boyfriend, while I have to spend a week in the ass-end of nowhere by myself?"

"Don't be mad. Besides, who would he send with you? Xigbar and Xaldin have been working with the publicist on the new logo and promotion package, Lexaeus has the social skills of a rock – Sorry Zexion, I know he's your friend, but it's true, and keep your eyes on the road! – Saix doesn't go anywhere without the boss-man, and you'd kill Vexen before the trip was over."

"True enough. What about the new guy Luxord's been training? Mar-something."

A sigh came across the line. "Just because the Superior is crazy doesn't mean he's poor enough a businessman to send a total noob to an important social function. Especially since Marluxia is being trained by Luxord because he is an addition to the currently one-man HR department."

"…Well, what about Namine?"

This time Demyx paused for a moment, and Axel could picture in his mind the mulhawked man blinking at his cell as his slate-haired boyfriend glanced over from behind the wheel of the sleek company vehicle. "You want him to send the receptionist with you on a recon mission? Are you sure you're not the one who needs to be committed?"

"Alright, I get it. I'll just suck it up and do the damn job alone."

"Good for you! Anyway, I can see the edge of the new Atlantica property, so I'm gonna have to let you go. Have fun on your trip! Bring me back something awesome!"

A click told Axel that he'd been hung up on, so he threw the phone on the bed, turning to finish his packing. He wondered how long he'd been going around with one pair of proper socks and five pairs of mismatched ones. He'd have to stop at the store before his flight.


End Notes: So, that was short, but it was a good introduction to the company's setup. Since, by now, you're probably wondering where this came from and what kind of crack I've been smoking, I'll explain: Xemnas had Castle Oblivion, the Castle That Never Was, and the Mansion in Twilight Town. Xehanort-as-Ansem-who-is-Xemnas's-heartless (yeah, try following that one) had the castle in Hollow Bastion. And everybody wants Kingdom Hearts. So really, bad guys are all about their real estate.

Please let me know what you thought!