To anyone reading this, it was something that I just couldn't get out of my head, and once I started typing, it just flowed out of my fingers... So if it's not that good, appologies....
And I own nothing, but if TPTB are hiring, I would love a new job.....
Anywho enjoy.....
Why, How and Forgiveness.....
The door slammed shut. It was the first time in so many years that Helen had actually slammed her bedroom door shut, yet here were the feelings just as they were all those years ago. For the second time he had taken Ashley, though this time, it was to find her. To save her.
She had spent so many years living with the notion that if he had found her, he would kill her, his instinct to do so running mad. So many years protecting her young daughter from the truth. A truth which as each moment passed was becoming more of a fallacy. She wasn't sure what had made the change in him, she wasn't sure why. She needed to know why.
She never felt the tears running down her face, just felt them as they dripped down onto her hands. She released the breath she hadn't realized that she'd been holding, and whipped a pillow across the room. She didn't know what else to do. Ashley had put on a front, after learning the truth, and gave her the impression that forgiveness would be given. Just not yet.
Her why would come when the forgiveness from her daughter came. But there was the how. How had everything changed so quickly. Learning, she was always learning. She threw this into the classification of learning. Just as she had done all the previous years of her existence. Her mind raced with thoughts of regret, things she couldn't change but still fell into the what if category. What if things had been slightly different, what if she had been able to, what if this and what if that.
She fell back onto the bed, closing her eyes as tightly as she possibly could, until they felt as though they were going to pop back into her head. At least the pain was making some of the thoughts disappear. This was the reason that sleep never came. All of the thoughts running through her head, none of which were able to be silenced.
It had been years since she had let herself do this. Bottle everything up and be the one whom everyone else could lean on.
Deep breaths came slowly as the tears ended, and she sat back up, wiping the wetness away as she did so. A few moments of calming herself, and filing the thoughts back away, she stood, and crossed the room to the mirror.
She fixed her appearance just as quickly as it had become undone, and picked up her weapon that was set out onto her dresser. She checked the clip, then taking a deep breath, opened her door once more. Perhaps she would take some target practice.
