It had been two days since Clarke had decided to spare Emerson's life. Two days of reassuring herself that she'd made the right decision,two days of Titus glaring at her murderously every time they were in the same room together, and two days of Lexa reaffirming that blood must not have blood was the future of their people. Their people. Our people. Lexa used those terms more often than not now. And even though Clarke knew that the Commander meant the people of the thirteen clans, Clarke couldn't help but feel that sometimes when they were alone what Lexa really meant was that the two of them were united.
Clarke rinsed her mouth with mint water and spit it out into the basin before checking her reflection in the mirror. She decided that she should bathe and wash her hair. After all, she was going to have more time on her hands than usual. There would be no assembly today. It was a Grounder holiday in honor of the Last Winter's Moon Festival, which began at sundown. A tradition that had emerged with Trikru and had slowly spread to some of the other clans. When Lexa had united the twelve clans, the Grounders had adopted it as a universal holiday. Clarke could hear the excitement already building in the streets below.
Clarke slipped out of her robe and dressed in a pair of black leggings and a long sleeve shirt. The basin in her room was good for washing up but she didn't have an actual tub. She was going to have to go to the bathing chamber shared by the female ambassadors which she was not looking forward to. It wasn't so much the shared bath that bothered her. She'd grown used to not having much personal privacy ever since she'd landed on Earth. What irked her were the hateful and unwelcoming looks she received from the other ambassadors and their assistants. Still, Clarke didn't want to go to the festival without thoroughly bathing and cleaning her hair. So, she grabbed a towel, slipped into a pair of fur loafers that Lexa had given her, and headed for the baths.
As soon as she stepped from her room, there was a guard waiting for her. "The Commander would like to see you, Ambassador," he called in a gravelly voice.
"Oh. How long have you been waiting? Did you knock. I'm sorry." Clarke wondered if he'd been there all morning.
"The Commander said you weren't to be disturbed. But she'd like to see you as soon as you are available."
"Of course, I'll head to the throne room."
"It's a holiday, Ambassador. You'll find her in her quarters."
"Right," Clarke nodded and thought about tossing the towel back into her room but slung it over her shoulder instead. "I'll head there now."
The guard bowed and excused himself now that his duty was done.
Clarke walked the expanse that separated her suite from Lexa's at the other end of the hallway. One of the guards who waited there, cracked the door and announced Wanheda. Clarke winced at the name. She much preferred it when people referred to her as ambassador. She didn't need to be reminded that she was a mass murderer.
The guard pushed the door open fully for Clarke to enter and then shut it behind her.
Clarke had not been prepared for the image that greeted her. Lexa wore a long sleek blue robe over a full length cream colored gown. The medallion that she often wore on her forehead was absent. As was her makeup. Still, her green eyes managed to shine behind her long brown lashes. Her hair spilled over her shoulder like dark honey. Clarke ached to run her fingers through the silk heaven. She had to remind herself to breathe.
"Good morning, Clarke," Lexa called softly and Clarke allowed herself to imagine that the longing she felt was reciprocated.
"You wanted to see me?" She didn't mean it to come out so brusquely but being so near Lexa in such an intimate setting and not being able to act on the desire that pulled at her lower abdomen was frustrating.
Noticing the towel, Lexa pointed. "Were you headed for the baths?"
"I was. I thought I'd freshen up. You know, for tonight's festivities."
"Well, that's convenient. I've called you here to ask if you would help me prepare for the evening."
"Prepare?" Clarke wasn't sure what sort of preparations were in order but she didn't think there was anything she could deny Lexa anyway.
"Yes, the Commander has an important symbolic role to play in the opening ceremony."
"I see. Sure, anything I can do to help."
"Good" Lexa gave Clarke one of her genuine smiles. And again Clarke thought she saw longing in the way Lexa held her gaze as her lips curled up. Lexa took a deep breath and then the smile was gone and Clarke could almost believe she'd imagined the whole interlude. "But first you should have that bath you want. I'll have Catlan heat the water and you can have a bath here, if that suits you?"
"Is that appropriate?" Clarke knew if Titus found out that she was bathing in the Commander's quarters he would have another one of his hissy fits.
"People will talk."
"Not if I cut out their tongues." Lexa quipped but Clarke thought she might be only half joking. Still, she couldn't help grin.
"Lexa. . ."
"Shh," Lexa closed the space between them and placed a single finger on Clarke's lips. "I was kidding. Look, if anyone asks, I'll tell them that I needed you close at hand to help me prepare for tonight." Lexa slid her finger from Clarke's lips but let the tip of the digit linger over the dimple in Clarke's chin, her eyes never leaving Clarke's lips. Clarke half thought and fully hoped that Lexa was going to kiss her. Instead, the Commander bit her own bottom lip and pulled her hand away. "The bathroom is there, make yourself comfortable, I'll send Catlan down now."
Clarke wasn't sure what she'd been expecting but the Commander's bathing chamber was far more luxurious than she'd imagined. Clarke guessed that at some time in the distant past that whoever had lived there must have come from the upper echelon of society. The white marble flooring was interlaced with streaks of gold and it ran the entire length and breadth of the room. Clarke stepped out of the fur loafers and put her bare feet down on the cold smooth floor. The sight of her dirty toes against the pristine and polished floor made her feel ashamed. Looking across the room, she became fully aware of why Lexa always looked so beautifully groomed and well-kempt. She had a fucking oasis just off her bedroom. Clarke was surprised to find the toilet lid opened and the bowl clean with water in it. She shook her head. She had to have answers. She craned her neck around the door frame and called to Lexa who had stayed in the bedroom to give Clarke her privacy.
"A minute, Lexa?"
Lexa padded over to Clarke wearing one of her cocky half-grins. "Yes, Clarke?"
"What is all of this? You have a toilet? And, it works? Why have I been trudging down to the outhouses at three in the morning?"
"It's one of the few creature comforts of being Heda. It's been this way since the first Commander had the pump installed," Lexa pointed to a pump that sat next to the massive porcelain tub. "The taps don't work, nor does the shower head but the pump does."
"So the water is heated below and you pump it up?" Clarke clarified.
"That's right."
"And the toilet?"
"Well, the water for the toilet doesn't require heating. But basically, you take a bucket and fill the back of the toilet with water."
"I know how toilets work, Lexa." Clarke said in a more huffed tone than she intended. "What I meant. . ."
"If everyone knew about this Clarke, then everyone would want indoor plumbing and frankly even if we'd had the resources to make that happen, we've never had the time. War has been our constant.
"I get it, I do. And, if you let one ambassador bathe in here, then you have to let them all. Look, maybe I should just go down to the ambassador's bath hall." Clarke certainly wasn't looking forward to sinking into the tepid, used waters of the ambassador's baths but she didn't want to start another political crisis either.
"It'll be fine. I told you, I will explain that you are serving as my attendant."
"But I don't even know what that entails," Clarke was afraid that even Lexa choosing her as an attendant would cause an outcry.
"I'll explain everything to you. Step by step."
Clarke's brow crinkled. She wasn't convinced.
"It's a great honor you know. You should be thanking me."
This did nothing to relax Clarke. "That's my point, Lexa. Your people may think that as an outsider I shouldn't be given such an honor."
Lexa took both of Clarke's hands and turned her so that they were squared up. "Look at me, Clarke."
Clarke's sky blue eyes landed on Lexa's earthy green ones.
"You have to stop thinking of yourself as an outsider. You are a member of Skaikru, a member of the thirteenth clan. You are my people."
Clarke swallowed. She knew that Lexa was right but knew that even if they believed it, there were many in the coalition who would never accept Skaikru.
"It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks," Lexa said as if she'd read Clarke's mind and then she squeezed Clarke's hands gently before letting them go. "Now, let's get your bath started. We still have to get me prepped for tonight.
Lexa walked over to the tub which was a great porcelain monstrosity magnificently framed in the same marble that tiled the floor. Lexa sat on the edge of the tub frame. "The water should be getting warm by now." She started pumping and after a handful of jerks, water spouted forth.
Clarke just shook her head. Would Lexa ever stop surprising her? As she watched the tub fill with water, she decided to just stop arguing about the appropriateness of her using the tub. She hung her towel on a nearby towel rack. "I can finish that." She pointed to the pump.
"You want your privacy?" Lexa asked and Clarke thought she heard a quiver of disappointment.
"Of course you do. Let me get you some soap and shampoo. Then I'll let you be."
Clarke felt her face reddened at the thought of Lexa watching her bathe. A naughty sprite inside her encouraged her to ask Lexa to join her in the bath. But Clarke pushed that voice to the back of her head. "Thank you."
Lexa opened a drawer on the right side of the marble counter that served as a vanity and grabbed some glass jars and brought them to the tub. She unscrewed the lid of the least viscous of the the liquids, it was white and creamy and smelled faintly floral. "Do you like this?"
"Yes, it's nice. What is it?"
"Honeysuckle soap. And this shampoo is lavender and this cream is also lavender scented but it makes your hair smooth and manageable."
"Conditioner."
"Yes," Lexa smiled. "If you like them, you can have them."
"I love them," Clarke sniffed each one and was truly elated to have something besides the caustic lye bar that she'd bought at the market.
"Good, they were Costia's. They are yours now." Lexa swallowed hard then turned to leave. Clarke didn't know what to say, but her soul begged her to scream, 'Can I be yours too?' But she only watched Lexa leave.
