A/N: leave a review if you like it OR let me and funsizedforever know what songs from Heathers we should feature in the next episode. Enjoy!
Puck POV
"Noah! Noah, Noah, Noah, Noah, Noah!" I have to refrain from rolling my eyes as I turn around to view my overly excited girlfriend.
"What's up, babe? And I already told you, stop calling me Noah. It's a crap name." I smile falsely at her as I go in to kiss her cheek.
"Noah is not a crap name. He saved the first people again after Adam and Eve's mistake. You should be grateful you have that name. Anyway, they just announced the school musical, and I am a shoo-in for the lead this year. It's such an honor, especially considering I'm only a junior. But what else should I expect from Mr. Schuester? After all, I am his favorite." Rachel is kind of a nutjob, but ever since Finn and Rachel broke up after Sectionals, we've been together. Plus, she's smokin', even though her ta-tas aren't as big as Santana's and she won't put out.
"What is it?"
"Oh, it's a brand new one that's off-Broadway called Heathers. It tells the story of three queen bees who take a nerd under their wing, who then dates the new kid, who ends up to be a psychopathic killer." After a small pause, Rachel continues. "Isn't it poetic?"
"Yeah, sounds great. But, Rachel, the musical is for pansies only. There's no way I'm going to do it with you."
"Noah Puckerman! You'd be a perfect J.D., not to mention you missed Rocky Horror, along with the fact that this is our only chance to sing together this year!"
"Look, Rachel, you aren't going to convince me to do Heathens the Musical with you or whatever. I'm a badass. And badasses don't do musicals. Maybe if it was as something as hardcore as Rocky Horror I'd reconsider." As I turn to walk down the hall, I hear Rachel call after me.
"But J.D. is a badass! He kills people! And he blows up his school! Anyway, if Finn gets the lead I have to perform a sex scene with him. Will you still not do the musical then?" I almost laugh at the pleased look on Rachel's face. She thinks she's outsmarted the Puckasaurus? The sex shark? Boy, is she wrong.
"Especially for that reason. I'd laugh so hard that they'd have to kick me out of the play. Besides, you honestly think I'd be jealous of Frankenteen? Fat. Chance. See ya, Jewish-American Princess." I strut down the hallway, leaving Rachel in the dust.
Mr. Schue POV
Some people may say that the choice of Heathers as the school musical is insane and controversial. And they're not exactly wrong. But it also kind of represents the hardships that Glee Club goes through, and it has enough sex appeal to attract the student body.
Today's audition day. I'm slightly nervous to see what the kids will be singing. I told them they could sing a song from the show, or Journey songs. I'm assuming they'll choose songs from the show, which was my ultimate goal, but I wanted to give them a choice.
I look at the audition list to call out the first name. "Quinn Fabray?" The blonde walks out with Santana and Brittany behind her. Why am I not surprised?
"Mr. Schue, Santana, Britts, and I would like to do a trio audition for the roles of Heather Chandler, Heather Duke, and Heather McNamara. I'll be auditioning for Heather Chandler, Santana for Heather Duke, and Brittany for Heather McNamara. We'll be singing 'Candy Store.'"
Santana steps to the front of the stage. "Now presenting, the Unholy Trinity." The girls get into position and the music starts playing. I figure I don't have much of an option to object. Even so, the girls kill the Heather roles, and I know that I'm going to give them the parts before the song is over. Besides, I've heard rumors about Santana having razors in her hair, and I know she would threaten me with those and get Sue to try to shut down the Glee Club again if I didn't give them the parts.
Before I can call out another name to audition, Rachel walks onto the stage.
"Mr. Schue. As you know, my name is Rachel Berry, and today I will be auditioning for the role of Veronica Sawyer, singing the melodious tune of 'Seventeen.'" Rachel takes her place onstage and she kills it. Just like she knew she would. Rachel's talented, and she deserves Veronica, but sometimes she's full of herself. Nevertheless, she's the only option for the role. If I want to stay true to character, which I do. Another role down, eleven leads to go.
"Kurt Hummel!" I call out to the empty auditorium. The boy walks out wearing his 'Pink Houses' outfit from last year and says, "Hey. I'm Kurt. Kurt Hummel. Today I'll be trying out for JD. And I'll be singing 'Wheel in the Sky' by Journey." The music starts and Kurt takes his place. He seems somewhat uncomfortable during the song, sometimes stopping himself from doing the shimmy or the finger wag. When he finishes singing, I call him up to see me.
"Kurt, are you sure you want the part of JD?" I ask him. I feel bad for asking, but I needed to be honest if this was going to be a good production. Or seem even slightly realistic.
"Mr. Schue, if I ever want to get into a theater school, I need to be a diverse actor! Playing JD will just help me accomplish that." Seeing the look on my face, he continues, "But I guess I don't really want to be JD. Is there another part I could have wear I don't have to dress slightly like Finn or have stage sex with a female?" I have to laugh at the expression on Kurt's face, just because I know how unlike Kurt this is. Suddenly, an idea pops into my head.
"You know what Kurt, I think I might just have the part for you. But you're going to need to find another boy to play his 'partner.' And, as an FYI, these boys would be jocks." I smile at Kurt and he starts to jump up and down excitedly.
"Oh, this is perfect! Blaine was thinking of transferring schools so that he could go to Nationals and now he could be in the musical as my partner? I'll contact him right away Mr. Schue." Kurt skips out of the auditorium and I smile. Kurt and Ram are out of my hair!
To be honest, the people in the play aren't going to be all kids. I think that some of the emotional depth would go over their heads and I cast myself as JD's dad, Emma will be Mrs. Fleming, the guidance counselor, and Sue will be Principal Gowan. That's nine leads down.
Auditions go quickly after that, the only person really standing out being Mercedes, who sings 'Kindergarten Boyfriend.' She'll definitely be Martha Dunnstock, Veronica's best friend. There's only one person left to audition. "Finn Hudson!"
Finn walks out somewhat awkwardly. "Mr. Schue. Obviously I'm here to try out for the musical, but I have no specific role to try out for. I'll be singing 'Freeze Your Brain.'"
Finn starts to sing and I know I have to cast him as JD.
I post the cast list the next day. It goes as follows:
VERONICA SAWYER: Rachel Berry
JASON DEAN: Finn Hudson
HEATHER CHANDLER: Quinn Fabray
MARTHA DUNNSTOCK: Mercedes Jones
HEATHER McNAMARA: Brittany Pierce
HEATHER DUKE: Santana Lopez
KURT KELLY: Kurt Hummel
RAM SWEENEY: Blaine Anderson
PAULINE FLEMING: Emma Pillsbury
PRINCIPAL GOWAN: Sue Sylvester
SHAUN DEAN: Will Schuester
MR. SWEENEY: Mike Chang
MR. KELLY: Sam Evans
MR. SAWYER: Artie Abrams
MRS. SAWYER: Sugar Motta
Everyone looks pleased with their parts. People who don't have a named role are extras, and are promised understudies to leads. Tina will be understudying Mercedes and Rory will be understudying Finn. They're given a day for their first rehearsal, and just like that, the musical si up and running.
Rachel POV
Today is our first rehearsal for Heathers, and I must say, I'm awfully pleased with the cast list. The only thing I'm worried about is the risqué decision of casting Finn as JD. After all, in the song 'Dead Girl Walking,' Veronica demands that JD take her virginity and they have stage sex. Plus, I'm almost positive that Finn and I have unresolved sexual chemistry that might just ruin the whole scene. But that might just be me, considering Finn barely talks to me anymore.
When I walk into the auditorium, rehearsal is just about to begin.
"Rachel, perfect timing. We were just about to start without you." Mr. Schuester says sheepishly, "But since you're here, why don't we start with you and Finn? Let's run 'Dead Girl Walking' from the top. Feel free to interpret it your way, include the necessary elements, and then we'll see what our choreographer thinks of it." Mr. Schue finishes, pointing his thumb to the side at Mike Chang.
"Alright, Mr. Schue…" I slowly say. I don't need my script, I've had the musical memorized since I heard about it, but I am surprised when Finn leaves his script as well.
However, we move past that and start the song. It goes off without a hitch- until...
"No more talking…" I sing. After the next line. It was time for that moment. I wasn't ready for it.
"Cut the music. Cut the- CUT THE MUSIC! Mr. Schuester?" I raise my hand, and button my shirt. The band stops playing. "Mr. Schue, I don't know if I'm comfortable with the choreography and song subject." I had to grind on Finn. It was going to be even more uncomfortable to do in front of an entire crowd.
"Rachel," Santana spits from her seat. "You sang 'With You I'm Born Again' in a nun costume. While your current boyfriend was dressed as a priest. How is having stage sex half-naked with your ex-boyfriend any-"
"Santana, sit," Mr. Schuester replies. He walks up to me on stage and says to me quietly: "If you want this lead role, and lead roles in the future, you're going to have to be comfortable with this kind of choreography. I know, it's a little extreme and suggestive for the high school level. But, it what you guys wanted, and what you guys got."
I thought about it. Did I really want the lead role? Yes. Did I really want hundreds of people watching me perform an act with my ex-boyfriend that's supposed to be private? Not really. But Mr. Schue was right. He smiled and went back down to sit at his seat.
"Ok, let's take it from 'No sleep tonight for you…"
I walk back to the platform on the stage, and get into my spot. I take a deep breath, preparing my body for what was about to happen.
"No sleep tonight for you! Better drink that Mountain Dew!"
"Ok, ok."
"Get your ass in gear, make this whole town disappear." I take a breath, getting ready for the next lines, while focusing my ears on the sound of Finn's cue. But he didn't say anything. It looked at him as Finn, not J.D. He didn't want this. The auditorium quieted down. Everyone could hear a quiet whisper.
"Mailman, mailman, mailman." It's coming from Finn. His eyes were squeezed tight and he was sweating. I tapped his shoulder, I could feel everyone's eyes on us. I started tapping him even faster.
"Finn!" I yell. He opens his eyes, I can feel him shaking. He quickly gets up and off of the platform and runs off the stage in record time. Just before he reaches the stairs leading to the doors.
"Finn!" Mr. Schuester yells. "What the hell are you doing?"
"Well, not this scene! Or Rachel!"
"Wanky," I can hear Santana mutter.
Finn always says awkward stuff when he's nervous or stressed. This time it was both. What he was saying was super awkward.
"I'm really not comfortable with this, Mr. Schue. I'm sorry, I know I'm letting you down. We all know that even though I got the role, I wouldn't be able to put through with it. I can't do this. If Rachel wasn't my ex-girlfriend, it would be a lot better. That doesn't mean it would be easier, though. But since she's not my girlfriend, it fricking sucks!"
After Finn finishes talking, I know I have to intervene.
"Finn Christopher Hudson. You get your ass back on this stage, and you get it here now!" I see Finn turn around slowly with a terrified look in his eyes as he walks back to the stage, defeated. When he reaches me, I whisper, "I know, this is horrible and awkward for the both of us, but we'll just have to deal with it." He looks at me with concern. "It's called acting for a reason." I finish harshly.
"Ok… um," Mr. Schue pauses. He quietly laughs nervously. "From the top!"
Finn's POV
I open my locker and gather up my books. I put them into my backpack. I'm focused on getting out of this hell as soon as possible. I've never been so humiliated in my life. Well… there was that time when Quinn got pregnant and everyone thought I was the dad. Or the fact that Santana was my first and not Rachel.
Okay, so maybe this wasn't as bad at those other times, but it was still bad. Like I was mutilated in the auditorium. At least I think that's the right word… Maybe it was humiliated?
Just as I close my locker, I see that there has been someone standing next to me the entire time. It's Rachel, of course.
"Hi, Finn," she says. She looks a little nervous, obviously. Still smiling though. You see, the thing is, when Rachel and I "break-up" or "have a fight", when we come in contact at times around those events, it's sometimes really awkward. Other times, we just enjoy each other's company. This is one of those 'really awkward' times.
"Rachel." I greet her, and her smile dims slightly, but then goes back to normal. I never get why girls do that. Are they upset, or have they just been smiling too long and need to take a break? It makes no sense.
"I want to talk about this scene, I know-"
"No," I interrupt. "I just think that we should think about this for ourselves. Then, we can talk later. It's gonna be really weird for us up there, but remember when we performed 'Push It' at the assembly? Just act like we're doing that." She laughs at my joke, and I know that we're most likely on good terms.
Just when I thought that this whole "stage sex" thing was resolved, Rick the Stick, the douchiest bag of them all, walks up to Rachel and I.
"Hey perv," he directs towards me. "I'm gonna buy a ticket to that Heathens show just so i can watch you sloppily hump your girlfriend in front of thousands of people."
Rachel blushes out of embarrassment. I'm not okay with this, and neither is Rachel. I speak up.
"Hey, dude, that's not okay. Rachel is with Puck now, that's not what's going on here."
Rick smirks. "Oh really?" Suddenly, he takes out his phone and pulls up a video. It turns out that Rick got my whole freak-out on video. Now I'm mad.
"You jackass!" I pounce at him and we begin to smack each other.
Rachel POV
You know, I always had fantasies of Finn fighting for my honor, but while we were dating, an opportunity never came up. Or they did, and he never acted upon them. Of course, now that we're broken up, a new musical has started, and I'm dating Noah, the opportunity does come up and he takes action. And no matter how much it hurt when he told Rick that we weren't dating, it's true, so I shouldn't be upset about it. Nevertheless, Finn looks extremely attractive right now, fighting for me and all, and I just…
All of a sudden I hear students start to sing around me.
"Holy shit.
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
Holy shit!"
As I watch Finn and Rick fight, and I listen to the other students singing, I suddenly have an urge to as well. It's like everything goes into slow motion when I start singing.
"Why when you see boys fight
Does it look so horrible
Yet... feel so right?
I shouldn't watch this crap
That's not who I am
But with this kid…
Damn…"
Finn continues to fight, and it's like I'm seeing a new person. I've never seen this side of him.
"Hey, mister no-name kid,
So who might you be?
And could you fight for me?
Hey, could you face the crowd?
Could you be seen with me and still act proud?
Hey, could you hold my hand?
And could you carry me through no man's land?
It's fine if you don't agree,
But I would fight for you,
If you would fight for me…"
Finn gets hit by Rick hard, and I have to wince. I just want to take him home and take care of him at this point.
"Let them drive us underground,
I don't care how far,
You can set my broken bones and I know... CPR."
Finn gets up from his hit and tackles Rick. I should not be condoning this violence, but…
"Well, whoa, you can punch real good,
You've lasted longer than I thought you would,
So hey, mister no-name kid,
If some night you're free,
Wanna fight for me?
If you're still alive,
I would fight for you,
If you would fight for me!"
As I hold out the note, the students surrounding me start singing again.
"Holy shit
Holy shit
Holy shit
Holy SHIIIIIIIIT!"
Everything resumes to normal speed.
Finn staggers away, leaving Rick on the floor.
"Come on, Rachel." He calls bitterly as he walks away. After a moment of sitting in shock, I scurry after him.
"Finn, why would you do that for me?" I ask him as I reach his side.
"I realized that when we were dating, I barely did anything to stand up for you. We're not dating now, but we're still friends, so I still have opportunities to stand up for you. Now I know how to. I'm sorry if what I did today was uncool, but I lost it when I saw your face. I've seen that face way too many times before, and I haven't done anything about it until now." Finn looks at me with a sad expression, but a familiar half smile stays on his face. He puts his hand on my face for a moment, and starts to walk away.
"Wait." I grab his wrist to stop him from walking away. "You look like you could use a friend right now to clean you up. Am I right?"
"You might be." Finn smiles at me and together we walk to his car.
It's later that night, after I've helped Finn and we're just hanging out, when Finn and I are watching Sue's Corner, that the problems start.
"Western Ohio, do I have a doozy for you. I recently discovered that William McKinley will be putting on the show Heathers, a show that promotes murder, suicide, sex, and all around violence."
As Finn is just about to put his arm around me, his phone buzzes. He takes it out of his pocket. It's a text from Puck.
Bro turn on the news. sues corners is doing a story on ur heathens show!
He snorts as his eyes glide over the screen. "He is never going to get that right, is he?"
"Probably not." I say, smiling at him. I think back to what happened a minute ago. Finn was about to put his arm around me. And I'm still dating Noah. I'm not proud of my mistakes, but I have learned from them. I stare back at the TV to attempt to get my mind off of the matter.
Sue clears her throat.
"Not only does it show these monstrous subjects, but William Schuester, the director of this show, is exploiting teen sexuality AGAIN!" A clip of our "Push It" performance plays in the top right corner. "This show shows that Butt-Chin Schuester is a perverted pedophile who uses his role as leader to his advantage. And that's how Sue… C's it!"
I turn my head to Finn, his eyes wide open. He looks at me.
"...what's a… what's a ped-a… pedophile?" I really didn't want to have to tell him this.
"Just do me a favor and google it, okay?" He nods his head.
He turns on his phone and types in the word. He gasps and looks at me with the same wide eyes. He grabs the remote from where it sits between us, and turns off the TV, just as Sue explains how the musical is based of a R-rated movie. I roll my eyes. I guess she wasn't done after all. You can never tell with Sue.
"We have to call Mr. Schue," he says, in a serious tone for Finn.
"No, Finn, it's okay. Sue is infamous for over-exaggerating the details of events, but most for lying about them." He chuckles, but then stops. I can tell something is still bothering him, and he starts talking again.
"Seriously. I know that Sue has said some pretty B.S. stuff about Mr. Schue, but information like this could get him into huge trouble. Like he could be expelled- I mean fired- or something."
I play around with this possibility for a couple seconds, then I realize how true this really is. *"If you say so," I said. I smile at Finn, and he smiles at me, and for a couple seconds it seems like everything may turn out alright after all.
Finn POV
The next day, Rachel and I have made plans to meet up before school and tell Mr. Schue about last night's Sue's Corner. But as soon as we reach the choir room and say hi to Mr. Schue, he's called to Figgins' office.
"Oh crap." Is all I have to say.
"How eloquent." Rachel remarks. "Finn, snap out of it! We have to help Mr. Schue get out of this."
I do snap out of it, and Rachel and I run after Mr. Schue, bursting into the office.
Principal Figgins is already talking. I never could figure out his accent. "William, I just don't think it appropriate for fornication to happen onstage, not including the gun violence, and-"
"Principal Figgins!" Rachel yells, interrupting him. "You must understand, that is not what Heathers is all about, that is just what Sue is implying it to be about. Heathers is also the story of McKinley, and other high schools all around the world. We have a Kurt and a Ram- Azimio and Karofsky. And we have our own Heathers, the Cheerios. Not to mention, there's always going to be a Martha Dunnstock, and even a Veronica. And, yes, while JD's aren't as common, they are still out there. We need to do this show to promote awareness about these people, so that someone takes action." Rachel finishes, and looks at me for backup.
"Yeah, what Rachel said." Rachel groans, so I guess that means I should continue. "I mean, Puck and I could have even been considered Kurt and Ram if it wasn't for Glee Club. Not because we're gay or anything, but because we were jerks. And we thought it was okay. Music can change other people's lives, like it changed ours, through this musical because they can relate to it. They can see that there is hope, and that maybe Glee doesn't suck ass as much as they think it does. Plus, didn't Take in the Children write a song about school shooting? 'Pumped Up Shoes' or something like that."
"You mean Foster the People and 'Pumped Up Kicks,' but you're exactly right. No one yelled at people for singing that song when it came out, which dealt with the same subject."
"Fine!" Figgins yells. "You can have your musical, but I will not be held responsible if there's backlash. Are we clear, William, small Jewish girl known as Rachel Berry, and Finn Hudson, quarterback of the football team?"
"Yes, Principal Figgins, thank you so much for your consideration." Rachel smiles at Figgins, and we walk out of his office together,
As soon as we're down the hallway, Rachel wraps her arms around my neck. After a couple seconds, she quickly lets go. It's like she was shocked or something.
As soon as the moment passes, her rapid-fire talking begins again.
"Finn, you were fantastic. I really think your arguments won him over."
"No, Rach, that was all you. It was like you were Hillary Clinton."
"I prefer Michelle Obama, due to the personal connection that she is African American and one of my dad's is black, but thank you nonetheless."
We smile at each other for a minute, before I awkwardly start talking again.
"So, I guess I'll see you at rehearsal or something?"
"Yeah, I guess you will." Rachel waves at me and starts to walk away. And there's a lot I still want to say to her, like a lot, but since she's with Puck and everything now, it probably wouldn't be that cool.
But, here's my big secret: I want Rachel Berry back. And by the time this show is over, I'm going to have her as my girlfriend again, or else my name isn't Finn Christopher Hudson.
*I'M SO SORRY FINCHEL/MONCHELE SHIPPERS
