"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'she's dead' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart."
With the tips of his wings he suddenly spiraled downward,
fast, faster than fast.
He was lashed by driving rain; it felt like pins driving through his skull at this speed, but he didn't care. The world was taken from him now.
Fang landed hard on the muddy ground at the edge of a cliff, he jammed his eyes shut.
Tears mixed with the rain hammering against his face.
Max was dead.
Dead.
And he hadn't been there. Hadn't been there to save her. In the past, no matter what had happened, he'd always been able to save her. But not this time.
He opened his eyes. Stared into space.
Then his legs gave way beneath him and he dropped to his knees in the mud, his shoulders heaving violently with every desperate sob.
The Flock watched him from the gushing river, twenty meters away.
"Fuck me…" Iggy breathed. "What the hell is he going to do now?"
Fangs mind was a kaleidoscope of images.
He saw Max-smiling up at him, laughing, holding his hand as they strolled along the beach, rolling up close to him in bed. God, he could almost feel the warmth of her body in his mind.
He saw her kicking eraser arse in Florida and in California.
Saving his life on the beach when Ari had raked him.
And her sticking by him though all his recent "changes"
And then, and then he saw the world from now on…
Without her.
Empty.
Meaningless.
And with that, he looked down at the .44 magnum Revolver in his holster… and he drew it.
"Hey there, F-nick," a voice said from behind him. "whatcha planning to do with that gun?"
It was Iggy.
Standing right behind him.
Fang didn't turn around when he spoke. "Nobody cares, Iggy. We could save the world and nobody would give a shit. People would go on living their lives, completely unaware of heroes like us. Like Max…"
Iggy's eyes were locked on the gun in his hand. Rain dripped off it.
"Fang, Put the gun away"
Fang looked down at the Revolver, and seemed to notice it for the first time.
"Hey," Iggy said. Solely to distract him, he asked a question the he already knew the answer to. "What did she mean when she said, 'I would of said yes'?"
Fang looked away into the distance –he saw some hawks flying, there were two of them- a tear dropped but he spoke like an automaton.
"She could read me like a book. I could never keep anything secret from her. One look at me and she knew what I was thinking, what I was feeling. God, we knew each other that well…
She knew I was going to propose to her after all this shit was over. That's what she was going to say yes to…"
He shifted his grip on the gun. Bit his lip. Another tear streaked down his face. "Jesus, Iggy. She's dead. She's fucking dead. There's nothing left for me now, nothing for the flock. Screw it. The world can fight its own battles."
With a quick move, he placed the gun to his temple and pulled the-
