Well hi! Thanks for choosing to read! I've always wanted to write a Lion King fanfic, but kept getting' stuck. The first fanfic I read was an amazing fic about Sarabi. It was so good that I immediately created a fanfic account after reading it. However, I noticed that there are few stories about the lovable trio. (Yay hyenas! I mean, what's not to love about these guys? And if it isn't obvious, Banzai is my favorite.) I got the idea for this after watching a couple YouTube clips on hyenas.
*Warning: Language and death. If you're squeamish, you might not like the hunting sequence. It's not too graphic, but still I thought I should warn you*
And regrettably, I own nothing. Disney owns all characters.
Word Count: 1007 (not including author blurb)
"Aww man. Why me? You're the matriarch. Can't you get someone else? Can't Ed go? Why does it have to be me?"
"Stop with the whining. You're spookin' the herd."
"Shenzi, come on. Send someone else."
"If you don't get your furry behind out there, I'm gonna serve you for breakfast. Get out there and take it like a male."
"But Shenzi…"
"I said move it!"
"Okay okay, I'm goin', I'm goin'. Get off my tail woman."
"That's the spirit honey."
"Aww shut up."
Shenzi grinned as she watched the defeated Banzai carefully pick his way through the grass, slowly creeping into the proper position to take down the selected buffalo.
"Hey! Hey Banzai, you remember which one right?" she hissed, continuing their whispered conversation. He shot her a dark look, baring his teeth, but didn't respond.
"Stupid, bossy matriarch. Spendin' too much time with those damn lions," he grumbled under his breath. Closing on the herd, he stopped, surveying the herd with slight confusion. "Shit! Which one did she say again? Oh yeah, there she is. Crooked horns, limping on her back leg. Looks like breakfast to me." Crouching down, he quickly glanced around, making sure the clan was ready. Shenzi nodded to him. Gulping, he mentally cursed Shenzi before charging into the middle of the herd of highly aggressive buffalo that probably outweighed him by like a million pounds and would trample him without hesitation.
Whooping and barking, he scattered the herd, which, fortunately for Banzai, were so startled by the crazed hyena that had burst through the bordering river reeds that they opted to flee rather than fight. Singling out the targeted prey, he snapped at her flanks, steering her towards Shenzi and the clan. Jaws snapping, half the hunting clan joined Banzai in herding the frightened buffalo while the other half, led by Shenzi, zeroed in for the kill.
The problem, the absolute biggest problem with hunting buffalo is that though one may succeed in causing a flight response to shake things up, it takes seconds for the buffalo to remember that they probably outweigh their attacker by millions of pounds, and therefore easily trample or squash said attacker. Especially if the attacker has the luck of Banzai.
"Ow, oh geez, ow, ow, ow. Damn it Shenzi, hurried up!" he howled as the head buffalo charged, bellowing a challenge as he attempted to trample poor Banzai. The old male swung his head, connecting with Banzai's rump, sending the ill-fated hyena flying. Shenzi, pausing to watch Banzai's less then graceful flight, shrugged, turning back to the hunt.
"I'm gonna hear about this all week now, ain't I?" she asked a male hyena to her right. Nodding quickly, he let out a series of hoots and giggles. "Yeah, he's fine. He ain't cryin' Or breathin' for that matter. Huh, well whaddya know. Hyenas can't fly." Ed continued to point as she chased after breakfast. Yelling over her shoulder, she expressed her concern for her fallen comrade. "Hey, get up Buffalo Bill. I ain't gonna save you breakfast."
Groaning, Banzai sat up, spitting up dirt, bits of rock, and dry grasses. He trotted after the other hyenas, joining in on the final chase. Gaining on the prey, he lunged, ripping out a chunk from her leg. Bellowing in pain, the buffalo whirled, charging and head butting any hyena within range. Shenzi darted under her legs, gouging out another chunk of flesh. The buffalo's breathing came in ragged gasps. Slowly but surely, the hyenas bit and tore away at the dying buffalo, finally succeeding in bringing her down.
"Alright boys, dig in!"
"Now that hit the spot," sighed Banzai, settling down next to Shenzi after breakfast.
"You're welcome."
"I wasn't thanking you. I did all the hard work."
"Huh, you think so? Okay, you organize the next hunt. Scouting, strategizing, picking the right hunting party, not to mention wakin' your lazy butt up."
"Okay, okay. I get it. You do a lot."
"And don't you forget it."
"Yeah yeah. Hey, where's Ed."
"Don't look at me. I ain't his babysitter."
From the other side of the watering hole came loud, frightened snorts, and a lone crazed laughter.
"He wouldn't…?"
"He didn't…?"
"Aww man, what did Ed do now?" moaned Banzai, as Ed raced by, howling like crazy. "Where does he think he's goin'," he asked, cocking his head at the fleeing hyena.
"I don't know, but we'd better go too," yelled Shenzi as she chased after Ed. "Move it Banzai!"
"What? Why? Oh shit Ed!" cursed Banzai, following after his friends. Behind him came a stampeding herd of wildebeest. Apparently Ed's buffalo brunch wasn't enough to fill his belly. "Aww man. Karma's a bitch worse than Shenzi!"
"Shut your trap and run!" barked Shenzi.
"Oh look Sire. The herds are on the move."
"Again? That's weird. The hyenas must be hunting," Simba softly chuckled. "You might wanna go tell Rafiki that Banzai's coming in today. And by the looks of the herd, it's not gonna be pretty."
"Yes Sire!" saluted Zazu, winging off to warn Rafiki. Simba rolled his eyes at the bird's eagerness. Looking back at the stampede, he thought he could just make out three tiny grey dots fleeing before the panicked wildebeest…
"Yee-oowww!" hollered Banzai. Ed and Shenzi rolled with laughter. "Yeah keep laughin'. I just saved all your lives, so keep on laughin'." Sprawled in a thorn bush, with burrs as big as desert mice covering his coat, Banzai glared at the laughing hyenas. "It's not funny," he growled.
"Oh right, right. You trippin' into a thorn bush really saved my butt."
"At least it stopped'em."
"Yeah, coz unlike you, they weren't stupid enough to run into a thorn bush!"
"Shut up and help me pick these out," he whined, struggling to pick out the embedded burrs.
"Do you see the spikes on those burrs? I ain't piercing my tongue pulling them out."
Banzai sighed, limping away. His entire back and underside was covered with the large spiky burrs.
"Where you goin'?"
"To Rafiki"s."
