Well, this is my first (rather poor) attempt at Twilight fanfiction. Criticism is more than welcome, if I ever choose to build on this semi-drabble then your opinions and knowledge will prove invaluable. Please don't forget to review.
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The grass was cool, she briefly noted, letting the morning dew dampen her jacket. The crisp air chilled her immensely, but she didn't mind. It was no different than what she had been feeling for months. Cold, numb, and ultimately, betrayed.
'You knew it was coming,' she'd chide herself every morning, allowing the pain to momentarily crash through her, before allowing it to ebb away into nothing again.
The pain, Bella reasoned, she could handle. It was the lack of overall feeling that had driven her over the edge. Moving through every day in the exact same manner, it was infuriating, or at least it should have been. To Bella, it was nothing.
Without him, everything was empty.
The sun was barely above the horizon on that day, only slivers of light seeping through her curtains when she decided that she had to do something, anything, to bring back the emotion she once had. She couldn't stand waking up without his calming presence at her side. She hated waking up and immediately knowing she was alone. Deep down she wanted to hate herself for missing him so much, for hurting Charlie. She wanted to hate him for leaving, but somehow couldn't find fault in his actions. She was only human after all.
When she crept into the bathroom and pulled out Charlie's old razor, the blade glinting under the florescent light, she stared. When she ran it lazily across her forearm, she smiled. When Edward's voice screamed in her mind to stop, she laughed.
Bella Swan had found life again.
She had found life in its purest form, the form that ultimately brought Edward to her, and drove him away. Blood.
For months, Bella found solace in that life. It didn't matter how badly it hurt, how loud Edward's voice commanded her to stop or how many people she pushed away. She was content to spend her days hiding her scars from Charlie and avoiding Renee's increasing phone calls. Bella Swan was satisfied that for a few brief moments in the day, numbness couldn't touch her.
She had been so satisfied, that when Edward's voice stopped, she hadn't even noticed. His incessant shouts for her to remember her promise to him, for her to be safe had faded until they were silenced completely. And Bella hadn't even noticed.
Until today.
So there she sat, in the cool morning air, the meadow having long lost its glamour over her. When he wasn't around, it seemed as though nothing was dazzling anymore. With her head upturned to the sky, she closed her eyes briefly and took a slow breath.
Delicate fingers retrieved a small folded piece of paper out of her coat pocket and laid it on the grass. She then reached into the other pocket and pulled out a shiny new blade, watching it curiously as it glinted in the sunlight. It reminded her of how he used to glimmer in the light as well. The memory brought a smile to her face.
"I love you Edward," she whispered, bringing the razor to her throat.
And then it was over.
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As I said, a poor (drabble-ish) attempt at fanfiction. Review, and be as critical as you wish. :) Thank you!
