Chapter 1
Katniss:
Beep… Beep… Beep… I groan as I roll over and hit my alarm to make it stop beeping in my ear. I fall out of bed and stumble to the bathroom to get ready for my first day of Junior year. I wash my face, brush my teeth and braid my hair, same as I do every day. I pull on my jeans and new Three Days Grace shirt, followed by my black Chucks, just as I hear my cousin honk the horn letting me know he's outside. I run downstairs to grab something to eat and find Prim by the door with some toast for me.
"Ready, Katniss?" she asks as I walk toward her.
"Yep, thanks Prim," I say and smile at her. She just smiles back and goes through the door so I can lock up. Today is her first day of Freshman year and the first time she's riding to school with Gale and me.
We can hear his music as soon as we step out of the door. Apparently it's a Marilyn Manson kind of morning. Prim wrinkles her nose at the noise, but I just smile a little as we approach the Jeep.
"Hey Gale!" we both shout over the music.
"Hey Kat! Hey Prim! Are you guys excited for school?!"he asks in his fake nerdy voice. We just laugh and roll our eyes. We don't say much on the way, since Prim's already texting her friends and Gale and I are too busy listening to Manson.
As we pull into a parking spot, I see my two best friends, Madge and Johanna, waiting for me by the gate. There are only a few things I actually enjoy about going to Coriolanus Snow High School. The first would be my best friends. Johanna I've known since we both were pretty much in diapers, but we didn't meet Madge until 6th grade. The three of us have been inseparable ever since. Other than Prim and Gale, they're the only people who actually understand me and that I trust.
The second reason is that my Uncle Haymitch works here as an English teacher for the juniors and seniors, which means I get to be in his class this year. Uncle Haymitch is my Mom's younger brother and has been there for us more and more lately since my Dad's been going out of town for work for longer periods of time.
Now we come to the third reason why I like this sucky school. Peeta Mellark. He has the most amazing blue eyes and shaggy blond hair, which is a big contrast to the dark clothes he always wears. He's a good bit taller than me and built like a football player, though he doesn't play. He's been Gale's best friend almost as long as Johanna and I have known each other. It feels like I've been in love with him for even longer than that, but he only sees me as Gale's little cousin. He'll never see me as anything more than the little girl with 2 braids following his best friend around, but I can't help the hope I have that maybe one day that'll change.
I walk up to Madge and Jo as Prim walks off to find her friends. "Hey Guys," I say as I join them, then glance over at Peeta. He's talking with Gale and Thresh, they're other best friend. While Gale and Thresh start laughing, Peeta merely smirks. I wonder what's so funny… I don't get much time to contemplate it, though, because the next thing I know Jo snaps her fingers in front of my face.
"Back to Earth, Kat. You're staring again," she says as her and Madge both smile at me.
"You know, you could always try talking to him. You never know, maybe he secretly likes you, too," says Madge. Now they're both giving me their knowing, hopeful looks they always get when we have a conversation about Peeta. Which seems to be every other day now. I sigh and look down.
"You guys know he doesn't see me like that. He probably just thinks I'm Gale's dorky little cousin and that's all he'll ever see. I wish I could make him see me differently, but I don't know how. I don't even know what kind of girl he likes…" I trail off as I look over at him again. He's looking at Gale as he talks, but has the same almost sad expression he always does on his face. Well, almost always. The only other expression I've seen on him is relaxed and that's only when we've all been at Gale's on Saturday nights as he gets high with Gale and Thresh. I don't smoke with them, Jo's the only one of us that does, but I really like the relaxed look he gets on his face. His sad expression makes my heart hurt just to see it. I wonder why he always so sad… I wish he'd trust me enough to tell me…
I look back at my friends to see them whispering and glancing at me. "Really guys? You can't wait until I'm not here? Geeze… Let's go to class." I roll my eyes and walk away.
Peeta:
I hate this place. If it wasn't for Gale and Thresh, I wouldn't be here. I'd probably get a full time job somewhere and move away. Then I'd only let a few people know where I am. Just Gale and Thresh. Maybe Katniss. No. I can't think like that. I can't let anyone close to this horrible life of mine, especially not her. She wouldn't want me anyway.
Tap tap tap… I'm brought out of my thoughts by Thresh tapping on the window of my car. I open the door and get out. We see Gale pull into the parking lot as we walk to the gates of the school. He has Katniss riding with him, as usual, but Prim has joined them today. Katniss… No! Don't go there Peeta.
"You ok, dude?" Thresh asks me. I just shrug and look down while he gives me a sad look and shakes his head. "You can't keep going like this Peet. You can talk to Gale and I. You know that," he says just as Gale walks up.
"Hey guys. What's up?" asks Gale as he joins us. Thresh shakes his head, still looking at me, while I just shrug. "Why so glum today?"
"Peeta's looking a little down today." He says still staring at me. "I'm serious man, you can talk to us. About anything."
"Yeah, Peet. We're here for you no matter what it is," says Gale. I give them both my small smile, just an upturn of the corners of my lips, and nod.
"I know guys. Thanks." I say looking up at them. They both nod, but then Thresh glances away and smirks. "What?" I ask.
He nudges Gale. "Oh nothing…" Then they both start laughing and I just smirk at their stupidity.
"You two are ridiculous. You know that, right?" They just laugh harder and I roll my eyes and glance around. I catch sight of Katniss just as she starts walking away from her friends and they glance from her to me before they follow after her. I wonder what that was about? Could she maybe like me? No. She'd never like someone like me. I'm just her cousin's stupid friend. She'd never want someone as messed up and disappointing as me. No one could want me. I sigh and turn back to my friends and see them staring at me. "What?" I ask again.
"Why don't you ask her out?" Gale asks.
"What are you talking about? Her who?" I ask confused. They both laugh.
"Katniss, of course." They say at the same time, then laugh at my confused expression. "I think she likes you, Peeta." Gales says as I just start shaking my head.
"No, she doesn't. She couldn't," I say, then look down. "And I don't want her, or anyone else to." I say then turn around and start walking away as the bell rings.
They don't understand. I could never bring someone into this shitty life that I have. I could never let anyone get that close to me. They would just get hurt. I would bring them down to the same horrible level that I'm at. Besides, she's right… I don't deserve to have someone love me.
