The disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any GI Joe or Evolution characters has gone on a little vacation along with my brain. Well I decided it was time I played around with the new Valor VS. Venom movie and put my own spin on it. Since there are mutants in the movie naturally I decided to use the Misfits as well. If you don't know who they are, go ahead to my profile and read a few stories. For those of you who are familiar, you'll enjoy this little parody as the Misfits learn about…

Valor, Venom and Other Stuff

Chapter 1: Hey a Movie!

General Hawk had decided on having a quiet evening working on some paperwork. It had been a rather hectic week and he decided to take advantage of the peace and quiet.

He should have known it wasn't going to last.

"General!" Roadblock walked in. "We have a problem."

"Well hello Roadblock just come right on in," Hawk sighed.

"Sorry sir, but I thought I'd warn you before the kids got here," Roadblock said. "You need to cover your rear!"

"All right what did the Misfits do this time?" Hawk sighed. "The short painful version."

"We went to the movie theater down in Crosstown…" Roadblock began.

"And they blew it up," Hawk sighed.

"No sir," Roadblock said. "Actually they were unusually well behaved during the fic. That's the problem."

"What do you mean?"

"Remember five years ago that crazy director made that movie about Project Venom?" Roadblock asked. "And how the Pentagon's lawyers tried to keep it from being shown? I hate to say it, but among the Misfits…It's pretty well known."

"WHAT?" Hawk sat up. "I thought the head of the studio shelved that movie!"

"He did, the new head of the studio un-shelved it," Roadblock told him. "It's been out for two weeks."

"And the kids just saw it today?" Hawk winced. "Why didn't you make them blow up the movie theater?"

"You know the movie is an edited version of what happened," Roadblock said.

"Thank god for small favors," Hawk groaned. "But they still want to know the whole story right?"

"Oh yeah," Roadblock nodded. "And Trinity got a hold of the documents detailing what really happened."

"Oh god!" Hawk threw up his hands.

"But they won't say what's in them," Roadblock said. "Because they want to see if you'll admit what happened first."

"Remind me to kill Shipwreck," Hawk said. "Half of this is his fault anyway!"

"What did my father do?" Wavedancer, the leader of the Misfits burst in. The rest of her team was behind her.

"Yo Hawk we didn't know you were a movie star!" Toad hopped up and down.

"Is it true that Cobra mutated entire towns?" The Scarlet Witch asked.

"And you got turned into a mutant too?" Quicksilver asked. "You never told us that!"

"Are you still a mutant?" Xi asked.

"And how come this is the first we've heard about it?" Wavedancer asked.

"Were you really that big?" Blob asked. "And purple like Barney the dinosaur?"

"Could you take Barney the dinosaur in a fight?" Arcade asked.

"One at a time! One at a time!" Hawk held up his hands. "All right obviously you have a few questions."

"And we know the answers," Trinity said as they floated in. The preteen triplets grinned.

"I'll bet you do," Hawk glared at them. "I'm guessing it won't work if I say the mission was top secret and classified?"

"Bingo," Quicksilver nodded. "So spill it! Tell us the real story!"

"Yeah any idiot who knows you guys can figure out that movie left out a few things," Blob said.

"Well you hit that on the head," Hawk muttered underneath his breath.

"To your credit Blob you're right," Roadblock said. "There are a lot of things we had to edit from that fight!"

"Obviously the movie didn't show everything!" Hawk sighed. "We kind of left out a few details…"

"So what really happened?" Wavedancer asked.

"We wanna know everything!" Avalanche said. "Come on!"

"Fine, sit down and I'll tell you the whole story…" Hawk sighed. "The whole thing happened about 18 years ago. First of all Cobra was taking DNA from animals at the zoo and planning on using them to create armies of super soldiers."

"Not exactly their first attempt," Xi said. "I should know."

"Yeah well while Cobra was planning their latest attack on the world, I was with the Joes on an important…mission," Hawk fidgeted with his tie. "Little did I know I was about to be ambushed."

"You mean at that paintball game with the kids right?" Avalanche asked.

"There was no paintball game," Roadblock admitted. "And there certainly weren't any kids there."

"This is where the movie slightly diverges from fiction," Hawk groaned.

"Why? Where were you?" Wavedancer asked.

"I was afraid you would ask that…" Hawk groaned. "And part of the blame belongs with your father!"

"Wait, you guys weren't where I think you were…" Wavedancer blinked. "If I know my father…You weren't"

"Unfortunately girl, your instincts were right," Roadblock sighed. "And that's how it started off as a very long night!"

So where were Hawk and the Joes really at? Wait and see as I parody the movie! He he…