Two faceless blonde children are playing in the sand. The girl is about three and the boy is about five years old. She tries to make a sandcastle but she fails - he helps her and the castle looks better than the Disney's itself. Then I can see a new scene: he walks her to school on her very first school-day and when they get to the class she doesn't want to release his hand. New picture: they're teenagers (the boy is about fifteen so the girl must be thirteen) kissing in the toilet of the school.
This dream returns to me from time to time. I have no clue about what it means, who are in it or why the Hell is it keeps returning to me. I have never seen it longer than their kiss because every time when I could see their lips touching each other I felt pleasant disgust and woke up sweating and panting - but grinning as well. Somehow I felt their relationship just wasn't right but also enjoyed they broke rules. I was wondering what would happen later. Once I've read that our mind can't represent things that hadn't happened to us - that's why we can't die in our dreams and wake up before we crash the ground instead - so may I wake up because the thing that will happen in my dream haven't happened to me? What would be that? I am really curious. What the Hell does someone want to show me that I haven't seen before?
I am wondering in my bed awake. Normally I would type my dream in my phone quickly as not to forget it but as it's a recurring one I don't have to note it I can remember clearly even without that.
I get up and go to the kitchen of the giant cottage my family has in the mountains. We haven't been here together for years; even my aunt, Vicky came back from Great Britain for a week with her husband and children as to be able to spend time with us.
I open the fridge and take a bottle of milk out. I want to drink some hot cocoa; that always makes me calm and let fall asleep. It's an old habit of mine from my childhood and I think believing in it works more than the milk and cocoa itself.
- It's ten to two - I mumble as I look at the clock on the fridge while putting the bottle back.
- It's late, why don't you sleep? - someone asks from behind me and I nearly release the bottle in my hand. I can easily recognize his deep, warm voice at any time.
- Grandpa, what are you doing here? - I turn after closing the fridge's door.
- I'm an old man, I'm allowed to do anything I want; but Lena, you're a 15-year-old girl and you can't sleep at nights? - he asks and caresses my head. - Are you fine?
- Of course I am I just woke up and wanted to drink some cocoa - I say and begin making my drink. My grandfather drinks a glass of water meanwhile and goes to sleep.
- Why this dream again? - I ask from myself and after drinking the heavenly, brown liquid that's one step thicker than the others like it I go back to the room I share with Saga. She's my cousin and as we're the only girl grandchildren in the family yet who are big enough as not to spend the night with their parents I got a joint room with her. Lucky Kevin can be alone. I'm pretty jealous of him 'cause I am used to having an own room and now I have to share it. Of course I love being with Saga and talking about girlish things for hours before falling asleep but sometimes we just fall out with each other - for example when it's about to have a shower first. But I just usually let her do what she wants because it's like having a little sister and I enjoy it. I have no siblings but my cousins (they are six from one side and two from the other) give me enough from it when we're together - as for example now.
She doesn't wake up when I open the door; she's a great sleeper, not as Kevin is. He sometimes can't sleep in the whole night and tries to compensate it with sleeping in the afternoon but this week I don't think he would be able to do this because such many children that are here will keep him awake or at the outside wake him up.
I have some willingness to visit him in his room and chat with him until dawn but I'm sure he sleeps like a log after his new tour. I don't know why he does this all the time; I have preferred him when he was just... my grand bro and we spent hours playing with each other.
I fall on the bed and can feel as my eyes get closed automatically. One minute later I sleep yet and I don't even wake up until next morning.
- Good morning - Saga grins into my face. - It's ten to eleven and everyone has already had breakfast. Fast, fast...
- Ah, good morning - I yawn by stretching. - What do you mean by everyone?
- Well... - she scrapes her nape. - Everyone except Kevin.
- Just as I've though - I get up and lumber out of the room, to Kevin's door. I lean against the wall there and try to knock and wake up my favorite brother.
- Good morning - my uncle, Tommy welcomes me as he realizes me. - You shouldn't deal with waking him up, it's hopeless - he says and hugs my shoulders. - Come, have a nice breakfa...
- Uhm, morning... - the door opens and we can see a sleepy Kevin in his glasses coming out.
- Hi - I jump on him and hug him immediately. - How did you think that you don't even welcome me and lock yourself into your room as soon as you get here?
- Hello - he hugs me back. - Sorry, I was tired.
- No, son, this week you will live as normal people do - Tommy says as he grasps his son's wrist and pulls him into the dining room's direction. I follow them. - You wake up in the morning and go to bed in the evening, not vice versa, got it?
- But dad... - he disagrees as his father makes him sit down.
- Respect your family and try to conform only for a week. No objections can be accepted. And now: eat - my uncle finishes and gives us some coffee. - Lena, you must be drowsy, here, it will help you to wake up - he smiles at me. - And you - he turns to Kevin. - I simply know you can't live without caffeine in the morning.
- Ah, no, I still spin all day, just mornings are a bit slow - I say and push the cup away from me.
- Then I'll have it - my fav cousin says and drinks it. - Here, you can eat them I'm not hungry at all...
- But you must eat something for breakfast - I say. - It has been a long we haven't eaten together...
- Because Michael had decided to move such far away from us - Tommy inserts.
- Didn't Vicky do the same? - I ask. We always have this debate when we're together. Why are you living there, don't you wanna move home, life would be easier if you lived closer to us... partly that's why we see them so rarely. Actually, we only meet when we have this holiday here or when they come to the place where we just live. Life isn't easy if your parents change countries you live in within every two years, is it?
- But she moved there because of her husband not because of a freak!
- Dad, why are you even here? Go, talk about this with Michael, I want to have my breakfast in peace and silence - Kevin says deadly seriously and his father decides to withdraw. - I'm sorry - he says as the door gets closed. - You know he just misses you.
- I know - I take a big bite of my food. - But all three of us enjoy travelling around the world so...
- Don't you miss people you always leave behind yourself? You know, friends, boyfriend... - he asks. It feels interesting that he thinks of it in this way.
- I have never thought of it like this - I look up at him. - Every new country means new experience and challenges for me. I can learn new languages and meet new people, and if I make friends we can still keep in touch via internet.
- But you know it's not the same as sitting in front of each other - he says and puts the cup down from his hands. - I enjoy talking to you in live more than skypeing, don't you agree?
- Yes, I do - I smile and finish my bread. - Ah, luckily there's one more - I say and make a newer sandwich.
- How many have you eaten, girl? - Kevin laughs.
- Only two, but don't laugh, a growing system needs a lots of energy! - I threaten him with my finger.
- Have you found anyone who could pronounce your name well, anyways? - he lies on the table.
- Yes, I have already been to Slavic countries, if this was your question - I smile.
- I know, for example eight years ago in Russia, I can remember but it wasn't my question - he says.
- No, actually everyone calls me Elena so I usually just ask them to name me Lena instead.
- But saying Yelena isn't that difficult, is it? - he asks again wondering.
- No it isn't - I say a bit grumpily and finish my breakfast. - Now, let's go and see what has changed around here, okay?
- Sure - he grins and we go to explore the environment of the cottage.
We only get home by two o'clock - my stomach has directed me home. If I relied on Kevin we still would go round and round in the forest. Poor him couldn't get home easily.
At home we have a nice lunch - Kevin doesn't want to eat much but soon he accepts food - and then as the rain falls down for some hours we decide to play some Jenga in the living room together with the family.
The dinner is like the lunch - big and loud so Kevin and I decide to eat later than the others instead. Both of us are sick and tired of the things that are told for Dad. They're freelancer photographers so what? Musicians should understand other artists.
After we've finished his mother joins us. I get on well with her although we only meet once in a year, only for a week. We're chatting and having funtime in three when suddenly she looks seriously in Kevin's eyes.
- Bring home at least as lovely girl as Lena is, 'kay? - she tells him.
He doesn't react anything to his mother's sentence just smirks. He may think Me? Her? It would be like if I sought Lena in the big She!
- Ah, you shouldn't tell such things - I smirk embarrassed and laugh.
- And Lena, don't you dare coming with a man less charming than my little darling, right? - she laughs shortly.
- Mom, don't call me like this I'm over seventeen... - Kevin disagrees and we all three burst out in laughter.
- Children, I have imagined you two at the altar - she stops for a second. - If you weren't cousins I didn't let you choose anyone else than the other but like this - she shrugs her shoulder and goes out of the room.
We look at each other with Kevin and both chuckle. Ah, she have always been like this, when we were young and lived in Sweden - I was seven and he was ten - she told everyone I was his girlfriend when we went somewhere together.
Two hours later we run out of ideas and start feeling drowsy so we decide to have a sleep. I go back to our room with Saga, the current babysitter and tell her I'm going to have a shower.
- I wouldn't even try to - she says as I open the door. I've had better keep it closed. I find the remains of the tornado my cousins have made inside. Water, mud, lipstick and other make-up-stuff covers everything. It's my make-up. It' my make-up that resists water.
- Hh - I exhale and count ten before I start talking to her. - You will be the one who cleans it all up - I say finally and get my stuff with me. I have planned to visit Kevin and ask for his help.
- Hey - I knock on his door. As I can hear no answer I go in and knock on the door of the bathroom as well. - Hey, it's me.
- Hi, say it - he says from inside and I open the door. I shouldn't have done. All I can see when I look at him is... a man in an only cock.
- I'm sorry - I say and try to go out but I fail. My legs don't want to obey and so I stand there totally frozen gazing him.
- GET THE HELL OUT FROM HERE! - he yells at me as he covers his hip with a towel fast. I feel as embarrassed as I have never before. Then suddenly a sentence of mine gets into my mind that I've said to a friend in Athens only a year ago.
I can make anyone fall for me within one week.
