I own nothing in this story- Tolkien does. Darn.
It is beautiful…
Slowly the haze of pain washes away and I can sit up again. How long has it been?
Years? Or centuries? To me, they are sometimes the same.
"You are awake." The freezing cold, burning cold voice hisses. "My child."
No. I am no child of thine! I wish to scream, but my voice will not form the soft sounds of my mother tongue.
My voice is harsh; ugly.
I hate it.
I am no longer chained.
Getting up, I run as fast as I can out of the doors, out of this horrible castle. I can hear the cruel laughter and the screams echoing behind me. "You'll be back, yes, you will!" I cover my ears.
Strange. My legs are no longer straight. They are bowed as an old horse's, nor can I stand as tall as I once could.
I run on, under the dark sky, and I look up. The stars… ai, but they are beautiful.
I hate them, and the valar they stand for.
They failed me. They let him take me. I bow my head, running bent, watching the path before me.
I run on, past a still pond. The cool water would feel so nice…Stopping, I put my hand in… no. Oh, NO!
My hands, they are black, all my skin is… I look into the still water, and I see the most hideous reflection.
Mercy, please! It is… I! All that is left of the me I knew is my eyes, and they are haunted.
He has done this to me. He has ruined me. I hate him!
I look next to the pool. Blossoming there is a beautiful flower. A rare night-blooming jasmine. My brother's favorite.
I hate it. Raising my foot, I deliberately crush the tender flower.
There. I am satisfied.
Now it too is ruined.
It is ugly.
Raising my head to the sky, I howl my rage and pain to the stars, but they do not hear. And they never will; they do not care what happens to me, and I will make them sorry.
I will destroy all that is beautiful and good in this world.
Why?
Because it is not fair. Because I do not want to see anything that will remind me of what I once was.
I was beautiful.
You see, I was once an elf.
It is now the end of my life. I, who was made by Eru to live for all time, am laying here, my life pouring from me in a black stream. An elf has ended it. I gaze up at the stars. The beautiful, beautiful stars…
Beautiful.
I hate…
No. I do not hate the stars.
It was not the Valar's doing that I was ruined. It was the doing of Morgoth, and it is some small consolation that he too will die, for what foul darkness can last in the face of such pure light?
I am… I am sorry.
A lone tear burns down my face blackened face, and falls to the ground. A single crystal drop for the buckets of blood I shed in hopeless rage and fear.
It is not enough, and well do I know it.
But I am sorry.
There, near me is a flowering plant. A night-blooming jasmine.
It is beautiful, and I fix my eyes on it as the beautiful elf, my brother, raises his spear again.
It is over.
I will be beautiful once more.
A/N
I hope you all enjoyed this. I could not resist redemption, which is, if you ask me, one of the most beautiful things of all.
