With help from half a dozen Machokes, the tall, narrow house was built in the shadow of Mt. Ember, a few steps away from the surrounding ocean. The building, so rickety it looked like a good breeze would blow it over, was always dark inside, even when every curtain was thrown open. It seemed to be made up of only bedrooms and stairs, all connected in a sprawling, labyrinthine way that could leave an unsuspecting victim wandering about, confused for hours. Noisy too, damn noisy, because it was crawling with teenagers and their Pokemon. The kids were able to come and go as they pleased and so rooms were always changing, fights breaking out over good beds being taken between visits. Saying hello to someone one day and then not seeing them again for months was a common occurrence.

In the early days, over by One Island, the Nurse in the Pokemon Network Center would wait for the next ferry to come into the port, wait for a new round of red-eyed, crying teenagers to come through the doors. At first, she'd say; "the place you're looking for is down Kindle Road, you'll find it soon enough."

As the months went by, this changed to; "it's okay, your parents are waiting for you back home dear."

The house that after traveling such a long way from Hoenn looked like a long, rotten tooth on the horizon, rocking and bustling with life. Someone had knocked in a wooden sign, spray-painted with the purple, dripping words; The Mud-Shack. When asked the meaning behind this name, the kids inside would say, snickering behind their hands; "what do you get when you mix water and land together?"


Through the endless sprawl of rooms, there was a door, easily mistaken for a mere linen closet, that opened to the final flight of stairs leading to the top floor. Someone new might be put off by the sign, written in red; NO KNOCKING BEFORE EIGHT IN THE MORNING OR AFTER TEN AT NIGHT. FAILURE TO COMPLY TO THESE RULES SHALL RESULT IN SEVERE CONSEQUENCES.

Upstairs at that final floor, Maxie sat at his desk in his pajamas, flipping through a hefty legal book with one hand and going through a folder with the other, eyes flitting between the two. The door opened and heavy footsteps creaked up the stairs, Archie's messy-haired head appearing over the railings. He sauntered over and settled down on the couch, propping his feet up on the coffee table. When discussing the layout of this room, Maxie had wanted a formal study with straight-backed chairs for people to sit across from him in meetings. Archie had preferred a lounge for people to sit around in armchairs and chat. They'd been too stubborn to decide of course, so they'd ended up with a strange mix between the two.

"Have the second floor gone to bed yet?" Maxie asked.

"Yeah, Jamal and Shoshanna were fightin'," the pirate replied, running a hand tiredly through his beard. "He's still pissed she beat him in their last battle. I don't know how many times I hadda tell 'em to wait till mornin' for a rematch … "

The smaller man straightened up, cricking his neck and pressing his hands into his back. His Mightyena came wandering in from the spare room, climbing into Archie's lap and snuffling when he had his coat rubbed affectionately.

"Fourth floor say their taps don't work … gotta look into that … "

This made Maxie snort.

"The gruesome twosome got their Carvanhas to use Aqua Jet on the toilet while Abe was using it," he replied. Archie laughed so loudly, he startled the wolf who nearly fell from his lap.

"Y'sure it wasn't yer curry dinner that did that?"

Maxie sent him a disapproving look.

"I don't find such vulgarity amusing," he said. "I really wish you wouldn't encourage this rampant immaturity."

"So that's why they were on wash-up duty all week?"

"Yes, they were punished accordingly," Maxie replied. He sent his still barking Mightyena a stern look, who quietened down, giving the pirate's forearm a few licks. Archie glanced up at him, still pushing his hands into his back, face creased with discomfort. He got to his feet and the canine went patting onto the ground, trotting over to the top of the stairs to watch the door. Walking around the desk, Archie put his big hands on Maxie's shoulders.

"Speakin' of gettin' to bed," he said and the smaller man let out a protesting sound.

"I've got so much work to do … " he tried to say as Archie started squeezing and pressing his fingers into his tense muscles, loosening up the knots.

"Which can wait fer the mornin'," he replied, his voice an amused rumble.

"Very funny," Maxie replied. He shivered when he felt him press a kiss to the back of his neck.

"That's a low tactic," he said, Archie's laugh vibrating against his skin. "And it won't work."

"Really?" he replied, one of his hands sliding under his shirt. Maxie twisted a little on the spot, eyes falling shut as the man rubbed soft circles across his belly. His legs shifted open, lips parting when the kisses at his neck grew rougher, more wet and hungry.

"Archie … " he said, voice thick. There was a low growl in response …

And then a knock made them both freeze, the Mightyena exploding into a fit of barking, racing down the stairs to jump around the door. Maxie sighed, glancing at the Swampert shaped clock on the wall which they'd received as a gag gift.

"For goodness sake," he said, pressing his fingertips to his temples. "It's half past ten, why do they do this to me … ?"

"Yeh poor thing," Archie said teasingly. He strode for the stairs, shooing the Mightyena away from the door. Maxie recognized the ringing greeting of Lacey, a former Magma Grunt who'd just turned seventeen a few days before.

"Hullo birthday girl."

"You know it's very late, Lacey," Maxie called from his desk. "There'd better be a good reason why you're still awake … "

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," the girl said, stumbling over her words. "It's just … it's just Yasmin, Shoshanna, Jamal and the Morris from Magma had a … had a four way battle and Jamal got hit by Confuse Ray on accident and he started throwing up and punching himself and then they all got in a fight and Yasmin and Jamal both have blood noses … "

"Do I hafta come settle 'em down again?" Archie asked.

"No, no … Nadia … Nadia and the other Morris made them all shut up and go to bed, but now they're whining about needing the medical kit so they sent … sent me up … "

She was sounding increasingly distressed. Maxie remembered her as a very anxious young lady back in the Hoenn days, often needing pep-talks from her peers before big missions.

"Hey, don't ya fret," Archie told her soothingly. "We'll get 'em fixed up in no time."

Maxie reached over for the set of keys hanging from the Quagsire figurine on the desk, yet another one of their many gag gifts. Walking across the room, thick socks barely making a sound across the carpet, he peered over the railings. Rattling the keys as warning, he dropped them for Archie to catch.

"Now go straight to the medical kit, come straight back when you're done and leave the key on the hook for us to get in the morning," he told her. "No dawdling, no messing about and if I find tomorrow that the food pantry has been unlocked, the second floor will be on laundry duty for an extra week. Am I understood?"

"Yes sir," Lacey said, an automatic response. He could almost see her doing the Magma salute in the doorway.

"Also Yasmin, Shoshanna, Jamal and Morris are all to see me tomorrow," he said. "Thank you for informing me of their misbehavior."

"D'ya need a hot drink?" said Archie more gently. "Help settle y'down some."

Lacey assured him she was okay, wanting to get to the medical kit as fast as she could.

"Alright darlin', yer have a good sleep now … "

After a hurried goodbye, he was shutting the door again. Walking back up the stairs, he sent Maxie a smile.

"Always seems to be the fearsome foursome makin' mischief," he said. "Y'should just hire 'em as permanent cleanin' staff."

"Well they're getting quite good at it now, they've had plenty of practice," he muttered back. Archie laughed, before drawing in close and pressing his chin into the other's bony shoulder, wrapping his arms around him. The bristles of his beard scraped at the smaller man's cheek as he moved them together in the slightest swaying dance.

"Where were we?" he whispered into his ear and Maxie let out an exhale of air. A rough hand swept down to squeeze his side, knuckles pressing into the warm notches between his ribs. Stroking Archie's bicep, he squeezed up his thick, hairy arm, breath growing more shaky by the second. The larger man growled as he allowed Maxie to indulge in his muscle fetish, satisfying his own kink by burying his nose into the head of soft, red hair. The explorative fingers had snuck under his shirt, clutching at his pectorals and rubbing obsessively over his abs. He could hear him almost panting now, his hardness pressed against Archie's thigh. Hand slipping down Maxie's back, he groped at his ass, pulling the other's hips in so they ground firmly against his own.

Their mouths meshed together, a mess of tongues and broken moans.

"You have … " Maxie said between kisses, his voice dark and delicious. "The most perfect body … "

"Aw," Archie said with a teasing smirk. "Thank you baby boy …"

Maxie always trembled so delightfully at that little pet-name, a ridiculous one really as he was actually older than Archie by a few years. They moved, not letting each other go, into the darkened bedroom and down across the covers of the bed. White hands sunk into the dark, wild hair as Archie lifted his pajama shirt up under his chin, licking wetly over the pink nubs that pointed to a peak under his touch.

"I think yer body offers … stiff competition though," Archie said, eyes like storm-clouds.

"Tell me what you like best about it," Maxie replied with a sly smile. Archie's face grew almost wolf-like with lust, teeth shining, stroking his freckled chest and fuzzy belly.

"So many fuckin' things," he said. "Love that filthy smile you got on right now … "

That made him smirk wider, his eyes heavily lidded. Archie shivered at the sight of it. He pushed into Maxie's pajama bottoms, starting to knead and pinch at the soft flesh of his inner thigh. The man let out a shuddering moan.

"Love how yer sweet little hole goes so pink and stretched tight, just for me … "

"Do you want to taste it?" he said, opening his legs up wider. Archie growled, going down to lick and kiss at the other man's belly and navel.

"Fuck yes baby, let me stick my tongue up there jus' the way ya like it," he hissed. "Yer such a dirty boy … "

His head was moving between his legs, teeth toying at the waistband of his pitched briefs, hands a bruising grip at his hips. Maxie let his head fall back against the pillow, teasing and tweaking at one of his own red nipples, mouth open, lips slick and wet with spit.

"Yer look so fuckin' gorgeous," Archie said with a throaty moan as he took in the sight above him. "I want yeh to play with 'em until you cum so pretty all over yerself … "

"Stop that before I fucking cum right now," Maxie said, rolling his hips up under the other's heavy hands. "Why don't you put your mouth to better use … "

Archie grinned, returning between his thighs …

When suddenly a barrage of knocking made them both stop everything at once, nearly tumbling off the bed with shock. Both Mightyenas raced for the stairs, barking so loud it was like they were trying to out-do each other. That managed to wake the two Crobats who usually hung asleep from the spare room ceiling. They started flapping around and knocking things over, which made the Camerupt wander confusedly out of the same room, looking around to see what all the fuss was about. Topping off the symphony of noise, the Sharpedo started banging his blunt snout against the massive tank full of sea-water where Archie kept him, teeth scratching in an awful sound at the glass.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Maxie said, readjusting his rumpled pajamas. He wished the other man hadn't insisted on their Pokémon having more time outside of their Pokéballs, convinced they'd be happier being able to stretch their limbs and move about freely.

"Why can't these children go to damn sleep, I swear they do this on purpose," he said and Archie laughed a little. He got to his feet, picking up Maxie's red dressing gown from the bed-post and draping it over his shoulders. The thumping at the door grew more agitated by the minute, a high-pitched whimper starting to sound from the floor below.

"Wait up, we'll be down in a sec!" Archie called down to them.

"I can't go down and see anyone," Maxie said, utterly mortified. "Why do you have such a filthy mouth?"

"Man, I can't go down either," the pirate said, pulling uncomfortably at his pitched pants. "Uh … think of somethin' horrible … "

They screwed up their eyes, trying to conjure up something bad enough to nip their arousal in the bud completely.

"Oh sweet Arceus," Archie said suddenly, shuddering all the way through his body. "Imagine that Pokémon Professor in a thong … the one from Kanto … Professor Oak, that old fella, imagine he's in a bright pink thong and a polka dot bra … one of his saggy old man balls is hangin' down to his knees."

The other man let out an irritated groan in response.

"Fuck you Archie, when you said a Pokémon Professor in a thong, I thought about the young one in Kalos straight a-fucking-way … "

Archie's cheeks flushed a deep red.

"Why would yer say that?" he said, starting to laugh. "That guy is sex on legs, I'm harder than ever … "

"Don't blame me," Maxie said, trying to bite back tiny sounds of amusement. "If this is what you call killing the mood, you're doing a pretty terrible job of it."

"I'd like to see you do better, smart ass," Archie replied. The other man paused for a second, thinking hard. Something lit up across his face.

"How about this," he said. He made two fists, propping them over his eyes. Then he made a rasping sound deep in his chest, his breath heaving out in an awful death rattle through his lips. All the color drained from Archie's face at once.

"Fuck, don't do that!" he said, taking a massive step backwards, his eyes flashing with almost childlike fear. "Y'know yeh so much like yer mother when you pull that shit!"

Maxie put his hands down. Looking over them both, he sent the man the smallest of smiles.

"Well that's killed it," he said. "I'd be very concerned if it didn't."

Archie rolled his shoulders around, scratching at his neck like he had bugs under his skin.

"It's not funny," he said. "I'm gonna have nightmares … "

The other man sighed.

"I'll soothe you through the night Archie, don't you worry."

"You better," the bigger man replied, still sulking a little. They walked out into the open room, Maxie calling out some commands to calm their Pokemon down as the pirate headed for the stairs. Feet thumping at the carpeted steps, he quickly reached the door, cracking it open. For a moment he just saw the opposite wall, but after a few seconds he became aware of a blubbering by his feet. Looking down, he found someone sitting on the ground, curled up, their face a red mess of tears and dripping mucus. It was Thomas, one part of what he and Maxie had nicknamed the gruesome twosome. Their youngest, at thirteen years old …

Archie paused suddenly, blinking and giving his head a little shake. Their youngest? Where had that come from?

"D-D-Dad!" the boy wailed and without thinking, he bent down, pulling him into a hug. The kid buried his face into his shoulder, soaking his shirt immediately.

"Hey, hey, hey," he whispered, trying to calm him down, rocking him slightly in his arms. "Sssh … "

Thomas made a soggy sound, his breath catching in his throat. This was a very different picture from how the boy usually was. He was often found running rampant around the house, acting the tough guy and ambushing passing trainers at Kindle Road for endless battles. Once he'd been caught in one of the bathrooms, drawing a beard on his face that looked a lot like Archie's, flexing his skinny arms in the mirror and pouting when no muscle popped up. Maxie had told him off for using permanent marker and sat him at the desk, scrubbing at his face with a handkerchief. A little hellion, for sure.

"Do I need to ring someone?" Maxie was saying now, voice tight with sudden panic.

"Do we need to ring anybody?" Archie asked him softly, pretending it didn't hurt when Thomas grabbed a handful of his beard, holding on tight.

"I – I – I hadda b-b-bad dream," he sobbed, biting at his knuckles. "I hadda real-really, really, ruh-ruh-really bad … bad … bad … "

Archie relaxed slightly, feeling the man above them do the same.

"Let's come up stairs," he said. Thomas squirmed closer into his arms and the man lifted him easily, his beard tugged particularly hard, feeling the roots sting like fire. He carried him up to the main room, the teen only letting go when he was placed in the armchair. He curled up like a Wurmple at once. Reaching over, Archie brushed both thumbs over his damp cheeks to try to stop the flow of tears. The two Mightyenas came running over, one climbing into his lap, the other getting onto the armrest and nuzzling into his shoulder. Maxie walked to the chair as well, getting out his handkerchief and taking the boy's face in his hand, wiping the snot stains away with all the gentleness of sandpaper scouring at his skin. Thomas seemed to relax at the familiar motion.

"Let's get yer somethin' t'drink," Archie said and the smaller man looked up.

"Not anything too rich," he told him. "Some of the lavender tea perhaps."

Nodding, he plodded across the room to the little kitchenette down the hall. The sounds of the kettle clunking onto the stove rung through the floor as Maxie straightened up, seemingly satisfied that all the mucus was cleaned from the teenager's face. Thomas wasn't settling down, biting away at his fingers, his shoulders shaking with sobs. Maxie looked at him carefully.

"What's that in your pockets?" he said. Sniveling, the boy pulled out handfuls of crumbled Lava Cookies and sticky Rage Candy Bars. Tutting, he bent back down, making a silent motion for him to dump the remains into the open handkerchief. Maxie was known to randomly sweep through bedrooms, rummaging around for hidden candy, stopping groups of kids between corridors to get them to empty their pockets.

"Now, young man what do you think happens when you have all this so late at night?" he told him, neatly folding up the stained fabric. Thomas let out a little hiccuping cry, gnawing at his knuckles even harder.

"We have nightmares," Maxie answered for him as the two Mightyenas licked at the boy's cheek, trying to cheer him up in their own little way. "So what do we learn from this?"

The boy tried to answer, stumbling over his words, fresh tears dripping off his chin.

"We learn to control our vices," the man said, voice just a touch softer. "Or else we get into a state like this, now don't we?"

Thomas wiped his red, streaming eyes into the Mightyena's fur, clutching at the creature like a childhood toy.

"I'm s-s-sorry D-Dad … "

Maxie blinked and stared down at him for a few blank-eyed seconds. Before he could reply, Archie returned with a steaming cup of tea. He gave it to the boy, steadying his shaking hands until he was sure he wouldn't scald himself. Then he sat down in the armchair beside him, reaching over to push sweaty strands of hair out of his face.

"Ol' Maxie's told ya off then?" he said with a smile. "Y'just had a bit of a fright, dintcha? Betcha can't even remember wot that dream was about … "

Thomas took a shaking sip of his drink, spilling some down his front.

"I th-th-thought there was a … was a m-monster with giant c-claws and t-t-tentacles and a million eyes in the toilet," he said. "And it was c-comin' to get me for re-revenge coz I blew up the t-t-toilet when A-Abe was usin' it … "

Maxie bit into his lower lip and covered his mouth up with his hand, Archie's shoulders shaking slightly. Even Thomas was starting to look embarrassed, realizing how silly he sounded.

"Don't seem so scary now, does it?" the pirate said and he nodded weakly. Little droplets of blood were forming at his fingers where he'd been chewing, the skin bitten raw. Archie pulled them out of his mouth, Maxie making another tutting sound.

"There's some bandaids left over from when Yvonne fell down the stairs the other day," he said. "They're in the bathroom somewhere."

"I don't know where yeh put 'em," the larger man replied. Maxie sighed.

"Just come with me then."

Archie turned to Thomas.

"We'll get yer all patched up in a jiffy," he said. "Just sit here a bit and drink y'tea, let the Mightyenas look after ya."

The boy's hand went creeping back towards his mouth and Archie gently brought it down again.

"None of that now, sweetheart," he said. "Or ya won't have any fingers left, eh?"

Thomas just sniffed snottily in reply. Archie got to his feet and the snivel turned into a protesting whimper, the boy grabbing at his wrist to try to stop him leaving.

"We'll just be down the hall," he said, bending back down. "Okay?"

He kept on whimpering, clutching even harder.

"Now there's to be no more of this nonsense," Maxie said in a sterner voice. "You're not a three year old Thomas, so I'd like you to stop behaving like one."

After a few seconds of little whining sounds, he let go of Archie's wrist again.

"Drink every last drop of that tea, as well," he said. "It'll help settle you down."

"Yessir," Thomas mumbled back, staring down into his lap. Archie tousled his hair, before Maxie led them out of the room.

"Yer don't have to be so strict with him," he said disapprovingly when they entered the bathroom. "He's all shook up, the poor bugger … "

The smaller man opened the mirrored cabinet over the sink. The reason for needing the pirate there became apparent as he stood on his tiptoes, trying to get at the top shelf.

"I'm sorry for not being totally sympathetic," he said, Archie reaching over him to get the bandaids. "I found candy in his pockets, despite telling all of them not to eat that kind of food at night. Anyway, they haven't got it that bad. When I had bad dreams at that age, I'd wake up with the subject of said nightmare in my bedroom watching me sleep."

He looked over at him with surprise.

"She did that to you too?"

Maxie closed the cabinet, pretending he hadn't heard him.

"Anyway, I think he'll be asleep in about five minutes, he already seems to be in a semi-unconscious state. I mean … " he was quiet for a few seconds. "He called me Dad before … "

Archie smiled at this, wrapping a sturdy arm around him and brushing a kiss to the top of his head.

"He called me that too," he said. "Maybe we're parents, Maxie. To a hundred teenagers."

A flush dusted across the other's face.

"Well … " he said with the slightest of smiles. "We have enough sex to have a hundred kids."

Archie laughed as Maxie tugged him down to give him a little peck on his whiskery cheek. Walking out of the room, they returned to the boy in the armchair. As predicted, he was sitting with his head nodding against his chest, his cup of tea clutched under his chin, fighting a losing battle not to fall asleep. Both men bent down, Maxie taking his hand, applying the bandaids to his bloody fingers. Thomas winced, letting out a pained sound and Archie rubbed his shoulder comfortingly.

"See?" he said, mussing up his hair again when they were done. "All better."

But Thomas was too drowsy to answer, pressing closer to the two Mightyenas who were still lapping at his cheek. Archie carefully picked him up, trying not to wake him. The teenager made a mumbling sound, wriggling in his arms.

"Time ter get yeh t'bed," he told him gently. Thomas seemed to accept this, settling down, immediately grabbing at his beard again. Archie muffled a curse.

"I went downstairs last time," he said to the other man, his eyes watering a little in pain. "And you don't have no beard for him to pull out."

When he passed the boy over, he clung to Maxie's neck at once, nearly making him double over.

"I'll be back in a minute," he said. "Wish me luck."

Heading for the stairs, the teenager was like a dead weight in his arms, forcing him to walk at a snail's pace to keep from tripping up. They walked into the darkness of the fourth floor, the quiet sleeping sounds surrounding them like soothing music.

From the stairway door, he went past the area where kids would sit around at the little table and drink coffee, joke around and text each other. Feeling Thomas drool into his shoulder, he slowly tiptoed through the small lounge-slash-kitchenette, a bunch of kids asleep around the couch on bedrolls, the newly arrived ones who hadn't had their proper rooms sorted out yet. Down a few steps into a hallway, he went through a door that opened to a long, high-ceilinged room with two rows of beds full of slumbering teenagers against either wall. This was for those who preferred to sleep with people around, instead of having a private room. Stepping over and around piles of dirty clothes, bags, plush toys and rubbish, he wondered as he often did how they'd managed to make such an enormous mess of the place.

The boy's bed was underneath a window, the moonlight pouring in over his covers. Placing him down gently, Thomas clung to his neck, forcing him to unhook his fingers one by one. Tucking the blanket around him, he heard him murmur something that sounded like goodnight Dad.

Maxie stilled for a moment, blinking. His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed, fiddling with his hair and glasses. He looked around the room full of sleeping kids and turned back around, his chest feeling strange and tight. To distract himself, he wormed a hand into the pillow case and then rummaged underneath the mattress, pulling out the squashed candy and treats he knew would be stashed there. Looking under the bed, he saw some dirty clothes, collecting them as well.

For a few minutes, he busied himself with picking clothes off the floor, dumping them into the overfilled wicker basket that had been upturned by the door. He put toys back onto their owner's beds, picking up rubbish and hoarded candy which he threw into the bin. He made a note of telling this room off for being disorderly the next morning. After going over to tuck in a few more blankets and rearranging pillows so its sleeper was more comfortable, he finally left the room.

Like a shadow, he moved towards the final flight of stairs, trying not to make a sound to wake anyone up. Back to his and Archie's floor, he found the main area empty, the sounds of the snuffling Mightyenas echoing from the spare room. Flicking off the light along the way, he headed to bed.

A boxer-clad Archie was sprawled and dozing across the blankets, his mouth hanging wide open. He stirred when Maxie slipped into his side of the mattress, taking off his glasses and placing them at the bedside table. Settling in behind the pirate, he put his arms around his waist and pushed his face into his neck. He felt the slow beat of his heart underneath his palm, felt Archie's surprise at this uncommon display of affection.

"Are you too tired to fuck me?" Maxie said and the other man made a little amused sound.

"Sorry Max … " he said groggily. "I'mma terrible boyfriend."

"You're supposed to be the younger one," Maxie said with a smirk against the back of his neck. "Can't even keep up with an old man."

Archie let out a little grunting laugh. Maxie squeezed him, wishing his arms were long enough to wrap entirely around his broad body. He just rubbed his hands up and down the thick muscle, playing with the hair at his belly and chest.

"I bet you're not too tired to let me fuck you," he said, lips brushing at his collarbone, mouthing over his dark, sea-salt tasting skin. Archie chuckled again, but it sounded a lot more low and rumbling now.

"I like the sound of that … " he said. "Can you give me a foot-rub though? Y'know, I still ain't recovered from Courtney's volcano hike, last time she were here … "

"Pathetic," Maxie huffed, although he was biting back a smile. "How much do you want to bet that next time Shelly's around, dozens of Magma kids will all start menstruating at the same time and can't go to her swimming lesson?"

Archie's laugh was much heartier as he rolled over, the smaller man settling down cross-legged at the mattress, propping the tough, brown foot against his lap. He began to massage it, long fingers pressing into his ankle. The man let out a contented sigh. After a few moments, he rubbed his heel teasingly at Maxie's crotch, a cheeky grin on his face. Maxie just rose an eyebrow.

"When did you last cut your nails?" he said. Archie snorted a little, rolling his eyes.

"By Arceus, do yer know how tah get a man goin' or wot?" he said, voice dripping with sarcasm. He was cut off by a tiny hum as Maxie started to work up from his foot, kneading into his thick calves. The man was precise in his movements, making sure each muscle in his leg was perfectly relaxed. It didn't take long for Archie's breathing to become rich and pleasured in his chest, the front of his boxer's beginning to tent. If he'd been in a more patient mood, he would've tortured him by doing the same up the other leg, but after being denied this so many times, he just couldn't bear to. Settling onto the other's chest, he nipped and sucked along his collarbone, neck and strong hairy jawline, before their lips met at last.

Archie's hand went winding through his hair as they kissed, lapping at each other's mouths like they were starving for each other's breath. Maxie rolled their hips together, letting the man feel just how hard he was. Then he brushed his hands down Archie's face, pushing his tongue into the other man's hot, wet mouth. The pirate was making deep, moaning sounds, arms wrapped around his thinner body, bringing him in closer, hand still buried in his hair …

Knock, knock, knock ...

"I'm … I'm back from the medical kit now, I've … I've got the key, I'm just … I'm just giving it back … !"

Both men let out the same frustrated sound at once, their eyes clenching shut.

"For fuck's sake," Maxie said into Archie's neck, thumping his fist against the mattress.

"Uh … is anyone … anyone there?" the voice called out as the Mightyenas began a fresh wave of barking.

"Didn't I say to leave it on the hook?" Maxie whispered to the other man, who managed to grin through the irritation.

"Y'know wot?" he said as they rose unwillingly to their feet again. "Let's skip out on sex tonight. We might end up makin' another one."