-150 Things I Must Not Do At Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry

1. I must not put itching powder in the slytherin quidditch robes.

2. I must not get caught putting itching powder in the slytherin quidditch robes.

3. I must not give Peeves access to a wand.

4. …Or a potion of any kind.

5. I must not assist Peeves

6. I must not turn my fellow students or teachers into ferrets.

7. …Or any other kind of animal.

8. …Not even if they deserve it.

9. I must not piss off Filch.

10. I must not strangle Mrs Norris.

11. I must not strangle Filch.

12. I must not taunt Filch about the fact that he is a squib

13. I must not curse Filch just because he cannot retaliate.

14. I must not insult Filch…

15. …Especially in front of Madame Pince the librarian.

16. I must not call professor McGonagall 'Tabby'

17. I must not elope on the third floor corridor.

18. I must not run through the great hall screaming 'TROLL, IN THE DUNGEON'

19. …especially not on Halloween.

20. I must not tell Harry Potter that You-Know-Who is back.

21. I must not tell Harry Potter that You-Know-Who is in the prefects bathroom

22. …Even if I fancy him.

23. I must refrain from drawing the dark mark on my friends arms while they are sleeping

24. I must not put the imperius curse on Harry Potter to get him on his own.

25. I must not give Harry Potter a love potion.

26. I must not curse Ginny Weasley because she spoke to Harry Potter and I haven't.

27. I must not use the secret passage to Honey dukes for my own personal gain.

28. I must not make a marauders map.

29. I must not scream 'BASALISK!' at the top of my voice.

30. …especially not near a muggleborn.

31. I must not let other people poke fun at Harry Potter's scar.

32. I must not laugh at Snape when he says 'bottle fame and brew glory'

33. …its not his fault he can't say his "r's"

34. I must not make up a prophecy in which I marry Harry Potter.

35. I must not dress up in a dementors cloak and attempt to "kiss" my friends.

36. I must not dress up in a cloak and levitate Harry Potter until he agrees to go out with me.

37. I must not pretend to speak parsletongue by hissing a lot

38. I must not ask Slughorn if I can polish his bald patch.

39. I must not predict the death of Ginny Weasley in Divination.

40. I must not flick dung bombs into Snapes office and blame it on Ginny Weasley.

41. I must resist the temptation to knock Crabbe and Goyle's heads together in the hope that it might knock some sense into them.

42. I must not stick a post-it on Ron Weasley's back that says 'I LOVE HERMIONE'

43. I must try not to laugh at Luna Love good's radish shaped earrings.

44. …and neither must I steal them for myself.

45. I must not get drunk of fire whiskey and make a pass at Professor Flitwick.

46. I must not stupefy Ginny Weasley and tell everyone she's been petrified.

47. I must not tell McGonagall that Peter Pettigrew tried to kill me.

48. Ditto You-Know-Who.

49. Ditto Ginny Weasley.

50. I must stop obsessing over Ginny Weasley's Death and my marrying Harry Potter and mothering countless children with him because its never going to happen.

…unless I kill Ginny.