-150 Things I Must Not Do At Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry
1. I must not put itching powder in the slytherin quidditch robes.
2. I must not get caught putting itching powder in the slytherin quidditch robes.
3. I must not give Peeves access to a wand.
4. …Or a potion of any kind.
5. I must not assist Peeves
6. I must not turn my fellow students or teachers into ferrets.
7. …Or any other kind of animal.
8. …Not even if they deserve it.
9. I must not piss off Filch.
10. I must not strangle Mrs Norris.
11. I must not strangle Filch.
12. I must not taunt Filch about the fact that he is a squib
13. I must not curse Filch just because he cannot retaliate.
14. I must not insult Filch…
15. …Especially in front of Madame Pince the librarian.
16. I must not call professor McGonagall 'Tabby'
17. I must not elope on the third floor corridor.
18. I must not run through the great hall screaming 'TROLL, IN THE DUNGEON'
19. …especially not on Halloween.
20. I must not tell Harry Potter that You-Know-Who is back.
21. I must not tell Harry Potter that You-Know-Who is in the prefects bathroom
22. …Even if I fancy him.
23. I must refrain from drawing the dark mark on my friends arms while they are sleeping
24. I must not put the imperius curse on Harry Potter to get him on his own.
25. I must not give Harry Potter a love potion.
26. I must not curse Ginny Weasley because she spoke to Harry Potter and I haven't.
27. I must not use the secret passage to Honey dukes for my own personal gain.
28. I must not make a marauders map.
29. I must not scream 'BASALISK!' at the top of my voice.
30. …especially not near a muggleborn.
31. I must not let other people poke fun at Harry Potter's scar.
32. I must not laugh at Snape when he says 'bottle fame and brew glory'
33. …its not his fault he can't say his "r's"
34. I must not make up a prophecy in which I marry Harry Potter.
35. I must not dress up in a dementors cloak and attempt to "kiss" my friends.
36. I must not dress up in a cloak and levitate Harry Potter until he agrees to go out with me.
37. I must not pretend to speak parsletongue by hissing a lot
38. I must not ask Slughorn if I can polish his bald patch.
39. I must not predict the death of Ginny Weasley in Divination.
40. I must not flick dung bombs into Snapes office and blame it on Ginny Weasley.
41. I must resist the temptation to knock Crabbe and Goyle's heads together in the hope that it might knock some sense into them.
42. I must not stick a post-it on Ron Weasley's back that says 'I LOVE HERMIONE'
43. I must try not to laugh at Luna Love good's radish shaped earrings.
44. …and neither must I steal them for myself.
45. I must not get drunk of fire whiskey and make a pass at Professor Flitwick.
46. I must not stupefy Ginny Weasley and tell everyone she's been petrified.
47. I must not tell McGonagall that Peter Pettigrew tried to kill me.
48. Ditto You-Know-Who.
49. Ditto Ginny Weasley.
50. I must stop obsessing over Ginny Weasley's Death and my marrying Harry Potter and mothering countless children with him because its never going to happen.
…unless I kill Ginny.
