THE SUN GOES UP AND MORNING COMES.
Levi is in the room spooning pinkie pie and kissing her neck MIKASA BUSTS THROUGH THE DOOR WITH TEARS IN HER EYES "LEVIIIIIIIIIIIIII" mikasa SAYS FEROCIOUSLY
Levi's eyes flutter open and he beams over at mikasa
"what you want" levi says in a sleepy tone
"Watashi...watashi...watashi slept wit h pinkie pie 9 months ago...the baby might not be yours " Suddenly Levi's eyebrows grew very mean and downward
"excuse?" his neck starts twirling clockwise and his morning wood suddenly goes limp. Levi starts shaking pinkie pie to approach her about this situation and pinkie pie pops up and starts singing a song about partying
LEVI IS IN NO MOOD TO HEAR THIS AS HIS FACE BECOMES EXTREMELY RED. Levi is very very mad at this point "how could you do this to me babe?" pinkie pies eyes start to well up she knew exactly what levi was talking about "i-i didnt mean to...it was just that...fluttershy was into mikasa but she didnt know how to have sex, so i demonstrated for her with mikasa...im so sorry cupcake" LEVI SITS UP AND PUTS HIS BOOTS ON. Mikasa grabs levi hands and levyi pushes her out the way because his heart is hurting very badly
Armin jumps through the window in nothing but his floral printed panties with a big smile on his face "EREN SAYS WE ARE GOING TO DEFEAT SOME TITANS TODAY!" he throws his arms up in the air but mikasa nor pinkie pie is having any of his shit they both take off his panties and wraps it around his neck and throws him back out the window
"What are we going to do?" says mikasa very sadly "levi is the bestest titan fighter and now that he has a broken heart the titans are gonna eat us all and we will never find out who the babys father is..."
Eren who has been listening in on the conversation because he sleeps under the bed rolls out from under the bed "WHAT DO U MEAN WE CANT KILL TITANZ THIS IS WHAT I WAS BORN TO DO"
"SHUT UP EREN FUCK THE TITANS WE ARE IN A MORE SERIOUS SITUATION HERE" mikasa boomed at eren and eren frowned
SUDDENLY THEY HEAR A KNOCK ON THE DOOR and in walks sasha with food in her mouth she is like "Yo whats the haps my boojanks" and then pinkie pie tells sasha what happens sasha is like I HAVE AN IDEA so then like she takes out her iphone 5s and dials up a number.
"Ayeeeeee wuddup...Yeah mah name is sasha and my bitch over here in a situation...yeah she dont know who her baby daddy is and we need your help...its between captain levi and mikasa ackerman and...yeah...yeah...yeah okay we can be there tomrrow kthnxbye" so sasha hangs up the phone "y'all mothafuckas need to pack yo bags cuz we fixin to be on some of that real shit ya heard" so then mikasa and pinkie pie packs their bags and levi does too because he eventually heard about sashas plan and then they all get on pinkie pie cause they ride horses and duh pinkie pie is a horse BUT PINKIE PIE CANT CARRY THEM TOO MUCH WEIGHT so she calls up Rainbow dash and like rainbow dash comes and picks up mikasa and sasha while pinkie pie and levi stays together.
it is dangerous bcuz they are going outside the walls in TITAN territory but who gives a fuck TITANS bothering them now will sidetrack the original point of this chapter so they are at bay eating other ppl and they get away without being seen by THE TITANS
So 2 days later because thats how long it took to travel they are in New York City (or conneticut i forgot) and they get situated in their hotel WHOA so levi and pinkie pie are on the bed talking but they have another day b4 their problems get sorted out but in the mean time they are bored so they find a computer sitting on the floor and they read homestuck together but they skipped to act 5 so they are bad.
MIKASA knocks on the door of pinkie pie and levi and shes like ... "im so sorry levi i didnt mean to sleep with your girlfriend..."
levi just sighs and says "she wasnt just my girlfriend she was the love of my life and..." SUDDENLY THEY HEAR A LOUD BANG because i bird flew into the window but they continued the conversation "anyways...i was in love with her...i-i was going to ask her hand in marriage after we got rid of all the fucking titans because i wanted to marry her outside of those walls you know...its just not fair" levi starts to cry tears are flowing down his face and pinkie pie takes her tongue and licks his tears. Mikasa runs her fingers through his hair, feeling really bad she commited such a crime"
THE NEXT DAY IT IS TIME TO FIND OUT WHOS THE FATHER OF PINKIE PIES BABY. They walk on stage and introduce themselves and then Maury takes out the card and says "IN THE CASE OF 4 DAY OLD whatever her name was bcuz they never named her she was gone so quickly, Mikasa... you are NOT the father" Mikasa is happy she is not the father bcuz it means levi has to be the father and levi and pinkie are in a relationship. "In the case of 4 day old [INSERT A NAME], Levi...you are NOT the father" THE CROWD ALL GOES OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! pinkie pie runs off stage crying levi falls to his knees and mikasa hugs levi. Maury catches up to Pinkie pie "HE HAS TO BE THE FATHER I HAVENT SLEPT WITH ANYBODY ELSE" but maury called her out on her bullshit and told her that the DNA test is accurate. Pinkie pie then admits to sleeping with JEAN oh my god no not Jean and Levi is so hurt right now he is sobbing. They go back home but right when they are outside of the gate A TITAN jumps from behind a tree AND APPEARS IN FRONT OF THEM levi and mikasa hold hands and rainbow dash swoops down and puts them both on her back but pinkie pie is stranded all alone the TITAN EATS PINKIE PIE and
