One mississippi. Davina sighed, wondering when she would be forced to twiddle her thumbs. Two mississippi.
He was late again.
That wasn't an unusual habit for her Dad though. Always late, and always busy with something else. Davina swung around in the desk chair, counting down the minutes until her father's assistant Pepper would be let out of her meeting from across the hall. She could pick her out from her view at Pepper's desk where she'd been placed a half hour before, red hair shining bright against the sea of similar browns, blondes and greys. The little girl giggled as she caught sight of the woman once more, face squinting in concentration as she scribbled down some notes, her tongue sticking out slightly.
Though Pepper wasn't a blood relative of hers, she may as well have been with the amount of time they spent together. When her Dad was busy, he would usually have Pepper babysit her. Though she hated being passed off like a toy, Davina adored the woman. The pair would often end up playing board games together and watch some movies, and Davina would tell her all about her life back home in New York. Her friends (Samara had been holding all of Peter and Ned's Legos hostage that week), her piano recitals (Mrs Hamilton had said she was improving!), her doubts (Was she really any good at any of her subjects?), her worries (Was Dad going to forget about her one day?) such a sad look had appeared on Pepper's face that she never brought it up again. The whole nine yards. Parent stuff. She thought in realisation.
Glumly Davina rested her chin against Pepper's desk, her thoughts sadly drifting once more to her father. That was a whole can of worms she rarely attempted to open up.
Tony Stark. What did she even really know about him?
He's loaded.
He likes Aunt Pepper.
He likes Uncle Rhodey.
I think he likes Mom.
She was never entirely sure on that one.
And he'd rather be anywhere than with me.
"Hey kiddo!" Greeted a cheery faced Pepper, as she materialised once more at her desk. "Miss me?"
Davina hopped off from the chair, racing forth to embrace as much as Pepper as she could with her height. The assistant smiled at the gesture, squeezing the girl back in solidarity. "Bored?" She guessed.
"You have no idea!" Davina exclaimed, waving her hands dramatically. "I started counting paper clips!"
Pepper made a gasp of horror at the admittance. "No!"
Davina nodded frantically. "Yes! You've got thirty alone in your top drawer!"
Pepper shook her head in dismay, playing along with her. "What a horror show!" For a moment the two of them paused, before bursting into a fit of giggles. I made her laugh! Davina thought happily, as she hopped on to a spare chair. She always liked it when that happened. A warm feeling would spread through her chest, and made her feel assured that at least one person linked to her Dad's world thought something of her.
"Ms Potts!" A new temp appeared at Pepper's desk, smile alight as she spotted Davina. "Who's this?"
Pepper spared a wary glance at Davina. She knew she wasn't the biggest fan of ''the story.''
"My niece Davina." Pepper smiled, giving Davina a assuring pat. "I'm babysitting her."
"How quaint! Nice to meet you Davina!" The temp waved all too cheerily, before returning to the work at hand. Davina rolled her eyes, staring down at the floor grumpily. She found the story so stupid. But like her Mom always reminded her, it wouldn't bode well for people to know who she was. Then she'd go all quiet and change the subject, just like clockwork. They were keeping her safe, she'd say. But she wasn't a little kid anymore, why couldn't they just explain? Was her Dad embarrassed of her? Davina had tried for so long to push up her grades in science, she'd been so sure that if she created something amazing like J.A.R.V.I.S or Dum-E he'd start wanting to spend time with her. But something in her brain refused to budge, and after her various attempts she finally gave up.
After all, why would someone like him want to spend time with someone like her? He was all rockets and robots or whatever it was he did for a job, and she was music and card collecting. They were in the same state right now, but they were a world away from each other.
"I hate it too." Pepper whispered. "We don't even look alike!" Davina let a reluctant smile form on her lips in an attempt to appease the woman, all while one thought swirled throughout the eight year old's mind.
Where was her Dad?
"He's busy again isn't he?" Davina guessed absentmindedly, as she flipped through the book her mom had packed for her trip. He was always busy. It was either work, or he had to meet someone, or something came up with his inventions. I should start a bingo board for them. She thought bitterly, her mind wandering from her book as her thoughts travelled once more to her Dad.
It had happened again last night. Apparently he'd been too busy at his own house (she'd heard Pepper trying to call him to let him know she was here with no luck), so she'd stayed at Pepper's for the night. Though she was clearly annoyed at her boss, Pepper was always accommodating and Davina was always happy to stay at her apartment. Her book collection was huge! Eventually they had ended up playing a few rounds of Scrabble and eating some mock turtle soup Pepper cooked up. Hmmm. Davina recalled the taste dreamily. Mock Turtle Soup. She'd totally thrashed Pepper last night as well in their many rounds, so all in all it was a pretty good night.
Pepper sat herself down beside Davina on the couch, typing away on her tablet. "Pepper..." Davina began curiously, as the woman stared at her screen. "Who was that woman you saw out? The blonde lady?" They had driven over to her Dad's earlier, and Pepper had awkwardly shuffled her inside and into her room. She hadn't been able to glimpse much from her window, just the odd sight of Pepper seeing out a blonde lady she didn't recognise. The redhead blinked in surprise at her words, glancing to her side to find Davina's steel-firm gaze on hers.
"Work friend." Pepper managed to stutter out. "Of your Dad's." Davina frowned in confusion, as it looked as though the woman was beginning to sweat. What's up with her? But before she could open her mouth once more to question the obvious lie, Pepper was saved by the sound of the door opening.
"Hey kid!" Tony called out in greeting as he came through the door, with Happy following close behind. "When did you get here?"
"Yesterday." Davina replied nonchalantly, flipping the book page as she remained seated on the couch. "I stayed at Pepper's." Tony frowned in confusion, as he deliberated her words. "You stayed at-" His gaze fell on Pepper. "You stayed at Pepper's." He realized guiltily, squirming uncomfortably as he attempted to avoid the redhead's searing glare.
"That's what I said." She sighed, rolling her eyes in irritation.
Tony held out his arms in greeting. "Can your old man get a hug?"
Despite her annoyance with him, Davina raced forward from the couch as her Dad enveloped her in a warm embrace. Sometimes, there were moments like these, where it seemed like despite his absences he really did care about her. Where it seemed like he noticed she'd been gone, and had missed her like she missed him. Davina squeezed him tightly, willing for the hug to last as long as humanly possible.
"How was the plane ride over?" Tony asked, as the two eventually pulled apart. Davina smirked at his words, sparing a glance at her father's not-so-happy driver.
"It was cool. Me and Happy watched Snow White." She giggled, as the man in question turned bright red.
"What did you think about it Happy?" Smirked Tony, as Davina covered her mouth to hide her laughter.
"It was delightful." The man replied in monotone, looking as though he'd rather be anywhere else at that moment in time. Davina took great pleasure in tormenting her Dad's all too stoic driver, finding his reactions to her embarrassing requests all too funny. Watching Snow White had just been one element to her plan, it had also come alongside the rainbow suitcase she'd picked out two weeks earlier which he had been forced to carry, the hat store visit which he'd been forced to partake in, along with the giant teddy bear she'd bought with her spending money from the airport. Embarrassing Happy never got old. Feeling slightly bad for teasing him, Davina slid over to Happy and pulled the all too reluctant man into an apologetic hug.
"Did you miss me Happy?" She smiled innocently, glancing up at the towering man.
"No." He had once told her she was the devil incarnate after a particularly humiliating game of mini golf.
"He totally did. He told me Mac and Cheese just wasn't the same without you." Tony informed her, adding to his driver's uncomfortable state. Sensing his discomfort Davina freed the man from her grasp, giving him a gentle pat to the side. I know he loves me deep down. Davina thought to herself in assurance, as she turned her attention back to Tony.
"Are you doing anything today?" Davina asked, poking for an opening into her Dad's life. Maybe they could do something together this time around, or she could tell him about all the things she'd been doing since her birthday...
"Gotta work on some stuff." He shrugged, handing off a suitcase to Happy.
"Can I watch?"
Tony shook his head, as Happy wandered off. "Nah it's just some boring work related things, plus I've got to head out tomorrow." Pepper let out a silent curse as she placed her palm on her forehead, recalling the last minute trip listed in his itinerary. The small hope that had been gathering inside the girl's chest was suddenly squashed like a pin to a balloon, her face falling as she realized the implications.
He's gonna go on that trip, and Pepper's gonna put me on a plane home the first chance she gets.
Sometimes she wondered why she even bothered with these trips.
"But listen, I'll meet you back up here in a couple of hours for dinner," He promised, as Davina predicted that he'd inevitably forget. "And Pepper will keep you busy until then. Right?" Pepper nodded reluctantly, sighing at the man's words.
"Yeah."
Tony ruffled her hair affectionately before slipping past her, heading down the stairs to his workshop in the basement. "See you soon kid." He waved.
Yeah. Doubtful.
"You shouldn't have done that." Pepper stated, a mask of neutrality placed on her face as she finished listing off all that Tony needed to know ahead of his upcoming trip.
"Done what?" He asked distractedly, as he fiddled with his latest project. "I do a lot of things I later regret, so you'll have to be more specific-"
"Davina." Pepper clarified. "You blew her off."
"No I didn't!"
"Yeah, you did." Pepper shook her head, handing out a document for him to sign. "She wants to spend time with you and you left her with me. Again." She emphasised. Why couldn't he see that? The poor kid just wanted to spend time with him.
Tony waved her off, as Pepper took back the form. "She doesn't want to waste her time down here, I'd bore her to death. She's what, seven?"
"Eight." Pepper corrected. "Remember, last August? Her birthday? The dollhouse I picked out was very tasteful."
Tony nodded in remembrance, pointing his finger at Pepper proudly. "You've got a good memory."
"Mr Stark!"
"Miss Potts!"
Pepper groaned, making her way out the door to leave.
"I'll see her when I get back!" Tony called, setting his attention back to the project he had at hand.
"Will you?" Pepper questioned him silently, as she headed back up the stairs.
As Davina sat with Pepper later on in the evening eating dinner by herself, a thought popped into her mind.
Why did she come here?
It wasn't like Malibu was a quick stop over from New York, and half the time she came over she was either handed off to Pepper or Happy. Davina poked at her spaghetti miserably, as she continued to think it over. Maybe she could ask her Mom to stop the trips. She considered, wondering what her reaction would be. He probably wouldn't even notice. She thought bitterly. Mom could just not say anything to him and he wouldn't bat an eye. No one except a handful of people knew her Dad had a daughter, rendering her completely invisible. Maybe he wishes I wasn't around. He'll probably be grateful if I stopped showing up.
She would miss Pepper and their games of scrabble though, teasing Happy, and talking to her Uncle Rhodey about all the stuff he did for his work.
I'd love to fly. She thought to herself, as she her thoughts went off on a tangent.
"Davina?"
Just head up up and away during school...
"Earth to Davina?" Pepper waved a hand in front of Davina's face, bringing her out of her daze. Davina blushed as she was caught daydreaming, turning her eyes downward as Pepper smiled at her. "I'm sorry about him." She apologised, noting the sad look Davina had been wearing all day. Not unlike her father earlier Davina waved Pepper off, as she twirled her fork between her fingers. "It's not your fault."
"But I should yell at him more." Davina smiled despite herself, the blow of her Dad's rejection slightly softened. At least Pepper cared what she thought.
"It's okay," Davina shook her head, "I wouldn't want you to lose your job."
Pepper shook her head, as she lowered her voice to whisper to the girl in confidence: "No one else would want to work for him."
Davina found herself giggling. "We thank you for your service Pepper."
"Thank you." Pepper grinned, pulling up a chair across from her.
"So who are you sending me back with?" Davina broached, silently begging not to be put with Anne the chatterbox again. All those hours spent talking about her cats... "Well I've got to handle some business in New York for your Dad, so I thought I'd come with you." Pepper explained.
"Cool." Davina nodded, her bad mood ceasing temporarily. "Pepper?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks."
Once they had touched down in New York, Davina felt relief flood through her as she recognised the sites she'd always associated with New York. She was home. No sooner had they collected their luggage and made their way outside the airport, Davina spotted a familiar face waiting for them by her car.
"Mom!" Davina cried, racing forth to meet the woman. Madison laughed as she pulled her daughter into a hug, gathering her into her arms as she squeezed her tightly.
"Hey sweetie," she laughed, "Did you miss me?"
Davina nodded vehemently. "It was a looong plane ride." She emphasised, glancing at Pepper to back her up in support. The red-head nodded wearily, setting down her suitcase.
"I think we watched the same movie half a dozen times." She admitted tiredly.
Her Mom cocked an eyebrow at Davina, as she attempted to look as innocent as possible. "I like Star Wars." She shrugged, pacifying her mother with a guilt free confession. She was nothing if not shameless.
"So..." Madison began later that evening, as she sat herself down on Davina's bed. "How was the trip? I never got a chance to ask. What with all of the unpacking you insisted on doing, and then organising everything and putting it back yourself..."
Davina frowned, her lips forming into a firm line. "I'm not OCD."
"Never said you were deflector."
Davina resisted the urge to bury her head in her pillow, as her Mom finished tucking her in. What should she say? Davina glanced at her Mom's kind face, pondering over her words. Should she say something? She'd been feeling this way for so long, and she'd never really been able to talk to anyone.
It was like she was drifting between two worlds.
There was her Mom's, here in New York. Here she lived a quiet life as Davina Maddox, daughter of Madison Maddox the local book shop owner. Though it was as ordinary and mundane as a job could be especially when compared to her Dad's life, at least here she had a parent who cared about what she did at school or how she was feeling after a particularly hard day. It was a world away from Malibu, where she struggled to even get her Dad's attention. It was stifling over there, as she continuously tried and failed to get some form of a relationship she wasn't even certain she wanted anymore. She was sick putting in all of the work and getting nothing in return.
"D?"
Davina sighed as she felt her resolve melt under her Mom's questioning gaze, causing her to fiddle with her bed covers absentmindedly. "It was..." She searched for the kindest word possible to describe the trip. "Boring." She supplied, as Madison groaned in frustration. She buried her face in her hands, as she thought over the implications between the lines of the sentence.
Madison looked up at Davina once more. "He stuck you with Pepper again didn't he?"
Davina nodded guiltily, before frowning as her Mom's words registered in her mind. "Wait how did you know?"
Madison pulled a face. "Your Aunt Pepper and I talk." She offered simply. "It's been quite a few times hasn't it? And maybe you didn't tell me because you didn't want to cause any arguments between us?"
"Maybe." She admitted, thumbing a loose thread in her pyjama shirt. She hadn't wanted to get him in trouble, but now...
What's the point in trying anymore?
Madison placed a comforting hand on Davina's shoulder, rubbing it in consolation. "Honey I'm sorry."
Davina shrugged, settling back into her bed. "It doesn't matter, I don't even care anyway." She lied unconvincingly, avoiding eye contact with her Mom. It hurt feeling unwanted, but now she saw that there was nothing she could do about it.
"Yeah you do." Madison noted knowingly, staring in sympathy.
"It doesn't matter, I don't wanna go there anymore." She insisted.
"Davina-"
"Can I go to sleep? I'm tired." She cut her off, willing the conversation to end. Reluctantly Madison complied with her request, placing a kiss on Davina's forehead as she pulled the covers up for her.
"Night sweetie."
Madison Maddox was pissed.
Though she was a former actress (and occasional model when her rent had been on the steeper side), she was well versed in a number of fighting techniques courtesy of her status as an army brat for most of her early childhood. She made a silent pact with herself to put them to use the next time she saw her ex, picturing the various places she could kick him and exact the most pain for hurting their daughter.
Madison punched in the all too familiar number, counting to ten in an effort to calm herself as the phone began to ring. Deep breaths were key, deep breaths were key. That asshole. He'd made Davina her firecracker of a kid upset, which was an achievement in itself. She didn't shed a tear at sad movies or when any of the nastier kids at her school tried to pick on her (hell, she'd openly laughed at their choice of insults). But no, one trip to California and she had practically retreated into herself.
"Hi Maddie." A nervous voice greeted her.
"Hi James." Madison greeted her old friend politely, only just managing to keep her voice down to a calm level. "Is the gigolo around?" She asked, unable to keep the bite out of her tone. Rhodey sighed as he sensed the forthcoming argument that was about to occur, passing the phone over to Tony.
"Mads!" Tony greeted, completely ignorant to her current mood.
"You're a real bastard you know that?" She snapped, unable to help herself as the floodgates burst wide open.
"Hello to you too-"
Madison was quick to cut him off. "You know when you said you wanted to be in her life, I figured you might actually want to spend some time with her. Talk to her even. But nooooo that would be too much wouldn't it?" She shook her head to herself in fury. "You really put your own Dad to shame you know that? I can't believe you!"
Tony groaned in realisation. "Mads you know my job's not a nine to five deal. I'm trying. Look I'll send something she'll like, I'll make it up to her I swear."
Madison rolled her eyes, willing herself not to shout as she counted to ten once again. "Gifts won't solve anything this time Tony. Don't even bother. She doesn't want to see you anymore." It hurt to say it. She'd wanted him to be different from what she'd seen him grow up with, but it looked like the cycle was just going to continue on.
"Wait, what?"
"Congratulations Tony, you've successfully driven another person away." She snarked, ending the call before she could say anything more she might regret. Wonderful. She let out a tired sigh, resting her head back against the wall as she registered what had just taken place.
Just wonderful.
Tony set down his phone, as the full effect of Madison's words washed over him like a flood.
She didn't want to see him anymore? Fuck. He cursed, guilt flooding through him as he thought over his actions towards her over the past few days. Hell, the past few years. Idiot. You should have seen this coming.
It wasn't like he didn't love her. God of course he did, she was his only family left in the world. But somewhere in between his own childhood and Davina's, he'd hit a brick wall emotionally and he knew he wasn't going to be slipping through the cracks anytime soon. He didn't have the fondest memories of his own Dad, which was he supposed, why he kept her at a distance. He didn't want to screw up someone as bright and as sweet as her, and turn her into a commitment free adult with no hope of redemption.
He didn't want that for her.
He'd never wanted that for himself. Yet here he was.
Maybe she is better off without me. He considered. He'd been full of promises to Madison at the beginning about how he wanted to be involved in her life no matter what, but somewhere along the way he had slipped off the edge. Right back on to the old familiar bandwagon. Tony tossed back a drink in consolation, deciding to rely on the one reliable comfort he had for the plane ride.
"Tony-" Rhodey began.
"I don't wanna hear it." He sighed, wishing to make the pain go away as he tossed back another drink.
And another.
And another.
And another.
