Written as part of a Music Shuffle, inspired by the song I Will Always Return, from the soundtrack of Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron. Which was really rather fitting. . .
Sokka winced a bit as he limped up the last stretch of the stairs. There was no one to see him and he was tired, he was willing to admit he hurt all over, and his broken leg throbbed, sending pain spiking all the way up his spine. He promised it a comfortable place propped on all of the pillows later.
Katara had been exhausted already and then continued spreading herself too thin with her healing; Sokka had and still did refuse to let her tire herself out further for his sake. It wasn't fun, limping around on his broken leg, but they were no longer on the front lines of a war, he could afford to be slow for a while.
Sokka paused, surprised despite himself. The effort he'd expended to get all the way up here was not in vain, this time - as it had been every other place he'd tried today. The number of those attempts was probably part of why he ached so badly.
"Hey. I've been looking for you." Sokka said, hauling himself up from the top of the stairs onto the small platform built into the roof of the pavilion.
Zuko didn't respond, and after a minute or so Sokka carefully walked up behind him. He knew there was no way Zuko didn't know he was here, so he wasn't worried about sneaking up on him, but he was concerned about Zuko's disappearing act. And a little about his silence now.
Zuko was prone to sitting in silence, yes, and on his own, but even if he was brooding he rarely refused to acknowledge when he had been directly addressed. Princely manners, Sokka guessed, with a wry smile.
"Zuko?" Sokka prompted gently, once he was almost beside his boyfriend.
"I'm sorry." Zuko said finally, turning his head to meet Sokka's eyes. "Did you need me?"
Sokka eyed him. "No." he said, and brushed a hand over Zuko's back. "Do I have to need you to see you?" he asked softly, edging a bit closer but taking care with his broken leg as he moved.
Zuko's almost flat expression cracked immediately. "What? Oh. No, of course not." He wrapped an arm around Sokka and tugged him gently closer, into leaning against Zuko's side, and he relaxed a little.
Zuko might be lost in his own head - and . . . a lot had happened over the past few days, even more than the weeks before, Sokka supposed his preoccupation was probably more than fair - but he was still in there and he was maybe not too messed up.
"Sorry." Zuko said again, with a sigh, and tipped his head to rest against Sokka's.
"It's an amazing view up here." Sokka observed, nudging gently against Zuko in return.
It really was - this was one of the highest points in the palace, leaving the rest of the palace, the broad caldera - filled with noble houses and gardens that stood out brightly from the volcanic rock - and the rest of the city spread out before them all the way down to the sparkling sea. And there tied up Water Tribe boats floated alongside docked Fire Nation naval vessels, peacefully sharing a harbour for what must be the first time in a century or more.
"It is." Zuko said quietly, and hearing the soft, sad edge to his tone Sokka pressed against him a little more, instinctively wanting to offer comfort. He was fortunate that Zuko was solid enough that leaning into him let Sokka shift his weight entirely off his broken leg without being unbalanced. Zuko hardly seemed to notice, really, one hand sliding absently up and down Sokka's side as he spoke. "It's home, but I haven't been here in so long it feels. . ."
"Strange to be home again?" Sokka suggested gently.
Zuko huffed, but even that sounded almost sad. "It feels like it isn't home. Sokka I haven't been here in years, and so much has changed, and now I'm supposed to be Fire Lord?" He shook his head, his arm tightening around Sokka.
"You came back." Sokka objected. "For a while, anyway. I know you left again, but. . ."
"Things were different then." Zuko said, shaking his head again. "It- It wasn't home any more. I expected. . ." he trailed off, like he didn't even know what he had expected. He probably didn't, Sokka thought - or, he had expected to find his home, his father accepting him back and taking his place where he belonged. Find what he had once left behind.
From what Zuko had said, little as it was - and beyond that, the simple fact that he had left once more, seeking out their group - he had definitely not found that, whatever else.
"I always knew I'd be coming home." Zuko said, his voice stronger. "I never let that waver. But I never thought it would be . . . like this. It doesn't feel like home, and how am I supposed to. . ."
"You're the only choice for Fire Lord," Sokka said, and Zuko flinched, but he kept talking, "not just because your family is insane but because you will be good at it, Zuko. You want to make things right." Sokka nuzzled his cheek affectionately. "And as for it not feeling like home. . ." he trailed off. That was rough. And not so easily addressed.
Then again, would Sokka feel like he was home again, if he returned to the South Pole? Things were changing there, he was sure - waterbenders would be a part of life again, as they hadn't been for decades, really, and there would be no war to fight, and. . .
And since leaving home Sokka had travelled the world, fitting himself in among people from all across the Earth Kingdom and even the Fire Nation, fought the end of a war, faced down wild spirits and crazed generals . . . and even a prince, he thought wryly.
Home had changed, and so had Sokka, and he wasn't sure it would truly feel like home still if he set his boots back over that ice.
"I know." Zuko said, voice low. He didn't sound much cheered.
"It will be home again." Sokka said, with a shade more confidence than he felt. "You'll make it your home again. And Zuko, you won't be alone." He shifted out of the clasp of Zuko's arm, but only to give himself the freedom to turn towards his boyfriend, resting his back against the low wall of the balcony. "We'll make it your home again. And . . . maybe mine too." he said a little more diffidently.
Zuko stared at him for a moment and Sokka ducked his head, flushing and clearing his throat. "I mean, uh-"
Zuko's hands smoothing over his sides, all but clinging, silenced Sokka. "Do you mean that?" he asked, raw hope in his voice, his eyes gone wide and wary. Zuko, Sokka thought unhappily, had been hurt . . . too many times, just for being as soft-hearted and kind as Sokka knew he always wanted to be.
"Yes, Zuko." Sokka said sincerely, reaching up and stroking his boyfriend's face. "I don't know exactly what will happen, for you or me or . . . any of us. But I really care about you . . . and I'm not going to abandon you. And none of us, your friends, are going to just leave you alone here, leave you behind, with a 'good luck maybe see you around'."
Zuko's thin lips pressed together and his eyes darted away.
"We're like family now." Sokka continued gently, and a tremor ran through Zuko, just barely enough for Sokka to feel it, even pressed so close against him. "We aren't going to just forget each other."
Zuko's eyes rose to meet Sokka again, a tentatively hopeful look on his face.
Sokka leaned up and kissed him gently, then hissed, flinching back, as his weight shifted and a harsh stab of pain in his leg made him waver. Zuko steadied him - there had been no chance he would fall, not leaning so close to Zuko, with the low wall at his back - and glanced down at his leg.
"Did you climb up here by yourself?" Zuko asked, and Sokka flapped a hand.
"Hey, hey, let's not talk about inconsequential things like that. . ." Sokka said, grinning, and Zuko frowned. "Yeah, but it's not a big deal, okay? I was worried about you and I was running out of places to check. And I found you!" He gestured illustratively.
It had, after all, clearly been the right decision to look here. Which he had made it around to eventually.
"You're going to let me help you back down." Zuko said, tone brooking no argument. Sokka didn't try it, not quite willing to admit that just at the moment he might not argue even if his boyfriend decided he needed to be carried back down the stairs. He really hurt and he was really tired and Zuko was plenty strong enough.
"Do you believe me, Zuko?" Sokka asked, nudging Zuko's jaw gently. "That I'm not going anywhere?"
Zuko looked painfully vulnerable for a moment. "You. . . I don't think you would lie about it." he said, and Sokka sighed. That would do. Especially for now.
"I wouldn't." Sokka agreed, sighing and tugging at Zuko's shoulders gently to coax him into leaning closer, their brows resting together. "And I mean really," he added in a lighter tone, "do you think anything could make Aang abandon his Sifu Hotman?" he teased.
Zuko growled at the honorific he most certainly did not care for, and the low purr of sound sent a shivery feeling slipping down Sokka's spine that he was in no state to appreciate at the moment. He took a moment to savour the feeling, then smothered it.
"Also you not only saved my sister's life, you- you helped her get closure over our mother." Sokka said, struggling now to keep his voice steady. Zuko stroked his sides comfortingly and he smiled weakly. "I'm pretty sure she's adopted you now and there's no arguing with Katara."
Zuko laughed softly, a tiny smile gentling his sharp face. "All right, all right. I believe you." He kissed Sokka lightly. "And I really care about you too." he added, his eyes warm.
"Good." Sokka swallowed thickly. Zuko's eyes were a little overwhelmingly intense sometimes and looking into them from barely a breath away only made that sense stronger.
"We should go back down, you need to get off your feet." Zuko said, squeezing Sokka just above one hip.
"Probably." Sokka admitted, wrapping his arms around Zuko's waist and hugging him tight.
"Can you walk?" Zuko asked in a matter-of-fact tone, not commanding in itself but definitely carrying the easy note conferred by being so used to command.
"Yes, thank you, I can walk just fine." Sokka insisted, snorting. "Well, I can walk, anyway." he added after a beat, because yes he was well aware he was currently limping and slow. And clumsy.
Zuko eyed him silently. "Will you be all right on the stairs?"
Sokka really wanted to give an unequivocal yes, but he didn't want to lie, and going down was actually harder than up even when he wasn't already worn out. "Probably." he said honestly.
Zuko frowned, eyes narrowing. He didn't argue further, nor did he try to carry Sokka, but he did wrap Sokka's arm firmly around his shoulders before curling one of his own around Sokka's waist. He probably could have Sokka up and off his feet the instant he slipped, if it happened - long before he hit the floor, certainly.
Sokka didn't protest, and his grip on Zuko's shoulder might have been painfully tight by the time they reached the bottom of the stairs. If it was, Zuko didn't mention it, nor did he try and dislodge Sokka's hand, even when they took the easier route of the palace corridors. Sokka thought about asking where they were going, but he didn't really care very much and walking currently demanded most of his focus.
Probably Zuko was just taking him somewhere to try and make him lie down anyway. Sokka would actually agree to that without need for coaxing; he could use a rest. He might try and wheedle Zuko into lying down with him, though - probably his broody boyfriend could use both the rest and the company himself, and he wasn't needed for anything immediately anyway, not if he'd been up in that rooftop overlook on top of the palace instead of doing things.
By the time they reached Zuko's rooms Sokka was really just looking forward to a nap with his boyfriend.
