Hey! Sorry I haven't been updating in a long time. I think it's pretty funny that in my last posted chapter to my Imagine "Californian Summer" I thought I updated pretty quickly and then I don't upload a story for over 3 months….yeah, my bad. I underestimated how busy I would be in school (sorry, schooling take priority over writing my Imagine). I just had a quick short idea for this story and had to write it down. This story is based off of what happened in my life, not being with Kendall (but I wish!). Please don't hate on this little story because I will take it personally Btw, this is just a one chapter story. Other than that, I will be working on "Californian Summer" considering I have a month break but I will be willing to write shorter Imagines such as this is requested
Thanks and hope you enjoy!
Kendall and I lay on the couch cuddled up closely together on this cold November night as we watch Anchorman and sip on organic hot cocoa. I struggle to laugh along with Kendall to the movie as I attempy to control my sadness I seem not be able to bear alone any longer. My emotions are mimicked identically when Ron Burgundy discusses about being in a glass case of emotion.
Totally understand, Ron. I feel the same way. Todays that day.
"Hey, um...I'm going to get a glass of water," I mumble suddenly and begin to untangle myself from Kendall in order to get up.
"Are you okay?" Kendall asks as I stand. "I mean, do you need any help in the kitchen?" he continues, trying to play off his concern as he holds onto my hand to prevent me from leaving.
"Are my emotions really that obvious?" I try to joke but it just ends up being a monotone comment.
"You just don't sound like your normal bubbly self. Babe, what's wrong?" Kendall asks. "Did I do something?"
His insecurity momentarily breaks my sadness and causes me to smile. "No, of course not! You're the perfect guy. It's…it's not you so don't worry about it."
"Come here," he says as he gently pulls me back down on the couch so I could sit on his lap. "Talk to me (YN)."
"It's just a really bad day."
"What's wrong?" he repeats.
I glance in his eyes for a few brief moments debating whether or not I should tell him. It's not that I don't trust Kendall, I just don't want to burden him with my worries.
He seems to notice my lacking response and adds, "babe, you can tell me anything. You know that, right? What's on your mind?"
With that, I decide to tell him. That's what being in a relationship means: that you lean on each other when you're down and help each other if they need you to.
"It's November 10."
"Is that a problem?"
Tears fill my eyes as I try to gather the words to describe this horrid day. Kendall wipes the tears away with his thumb as I begin, "it's the day my dad died." At the last word, I couldn't hold my emotions back any longer. Tears flood out of my eyes and I look away. Kendall is the first person I've ever attempted to talk to about my father and my emotions escape at finally having the chance to be free.
"I'm so sorry!" Kendall immediately soothes me as he holds me against his chest. "How did this happen?"
"He died from cancer and Chron's disease."
"He had cancer?"
"Cancer of the Lungs, Cancer of the Esophagus, Cancer of the Pancreas and Chron's disease," I elaborate. "He was a smoker."
I see Kendall begin to tear up in my peripheral vision as he tries to fathom the situation. "How did you find out?"
"I was fourteen and a freshman in high school. I….I woke up to…to the sound of my mom and brother crying," I try to explain as sobs rush out of me as I recall the morning. "I didn't know what was going on…so I rushed into the living room to help them. I saw my mom drop her phone as she embraced my brother," I continue, calming my sobbing tantrum. "I couldn't believe what was going on. When she finally told me, I was in shock. I didn't know what to do. I ended up turning around and going into my room and falling into a helpless heap on my bed. Tears finally came when I understood the situation better. He's gone. He's not here anymore," I say, beginning to cry once again.
"Just cry it all out babe. I'm here for you," Kendall says as he rubs my back before waiting for me to continue trying to tell him.
"I miss him so much, Kendall," I cry. "There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of him. I miss his hugs, I miss his laugh…I even miss his cologne," I continue, my voice breaking as I squeeze Kendall for support.
"I'm so sorry for you loss, (YN). I know he'd be proud of the woman you've become, more than the perfection I see you as. He's looking down at you from above and is smiling and wishing you the happiest life a father could ever give his daughter. I know he's not here physically but he'll always be here," Kendall says as he points to my heart, "and here," pointing to my head. "He's not gone, not really."
Relief attacks me at finally managing to confess my feelings to someone else as well as gratuity for having a boyfriend like Kendall to help me through this.
He leans his forehead against mine and looks into my eyes. As he continues to wipe stray tears away he says, "thanks for sharing that personal part of your life with me. I can see how struggling it was and I'm sorry you've ever had to have such traumatic thing happen to you. I want you to know you can tell me anything. And know that the only time we'll ever be separated is the day when you're down the isle from me during our wedding." A smile breaks across my face at hearing his words His eyes glimpse briefly down at my lips. He glances back up and continues, "(YN), I want to be the guy that laughs with you, that jokes with you, that talks about serious things with you. I want to wake up every morning to the sight of your gorgeous face and I want the sight of you to be what I fall asleep looking at. Babe, just know that I'll be here for you whenever you need me, no matter what is going on. Know that I love you."
As he finishes his last word, my lips collide with his. Kendall and I hold onto each other, enveloped in each other's personal bubble, just holding onto this blissful moment. I am so thankful and blessed to have this man in my life, even more appreciative as having him as my boyfriend.
I break away, again looking him in the eyes. "I love you too. Thank you so much for being my best friend and listening to my troubles," I finish, smiling once again.
"Any time. I'll be here, forever and always," Kendall whispers, rubbing his thumb against my palm as I lay against him on the couch. Warmth from his body radiates into me as I lay my head on his chest. We both end up falling asleep that night, holding each other, not wanting to ever let the other go.
