I recommend listening to this as you read: /watch/?v=WuKFWXocDi8#Tokyo_Ghoul_-_Unravel_%7C_Piano_Version
Why did you have to change?
It's a remarkably appropriate question.
Kaneki chuckles.
"Why, indeed," he says.
Kaneki chuckles, but he wants to cry.
And scream.
And thrash.
And die.
You see, Kaneki knows he's not the same. And he does, in fact, remember who he used to be.
And he does grieve the death of that person.
He stares in the mirror and imagines himself with black hair. He smiles sweetly, and it doesn't feel right, and he holds back tears because that's what he used to look like, and that's how he used to feel, and that's him, but it's not.
He used to be so happy.
"Why did you have to change?" Touka asked, her voice thick.
"I had to change because I have to protect you all," he could've said.
"I had to change because I'm sick of being torn apart," he could've said.
"I had to change because I was weak," he could've said, or, "I had to change to survive."
All were valid answers. All were true, and had he said any, she might have understood.
But Kaneki was just so, so tired. Tired of being numb and sick and cold and colorless. He just missed himself so much.
He wanted to scream I DON'T KNOW, sobbing at the world, pounding the ground like an angry child.
But he didn't.
He chuckled and said, "Why, indeed."
After he eats, on the way home, Kaneki catches his own reflection in a dirt-encrusted window. He flicks his eyes away because he's different, and it bothers him sometimes.
A/N: ITS BEEN A MONTH SINCE I FINISHED TOKYOU GHOUL,AND I AMSTILL NOT OVER THE CHANGE IN MY BABY. SOMEON HI M.
