Struggles

Author Notes(Mako): Guys...i was pissed at Nathaniel. In episode 23 he said and did things i didn't like, but at the same time i also understood. So i thought to do this one shot. God i've been doing a lot of these lately...oh well~ I don't MCL

3rd P.O.V

She wasn't sure what to think anymore. She told the family services...she actually called them. She had her suspicions for months but the passed few days she had it confirmed. His father was abusing him, both verbally and physically.

She had a close friend whom she spoke to this about, both he and her mother had said that she had done the right thing. That though Nathaniel was bitter with anger, he would understand and maybe feel happy about this one day. But currently this was nothing but a nightmare.

She wasn't sleeping, she wasn't eating, she could barely think. The only thing she could do these days was cry a river of pain and sadness. They were so close, she and he. Now Candy could only keep going. Hearing the rumors, seeing the looks of hatred from the blonde siblings.

She was falling apart from guilt, she questioned herself. Constantly thinking of what she could do to make things right. Candy hated herself. In her mind, this was as heartbreaking as the Deborah incident. She tried to do the right thing there too, only to get burned in the end.

Back then it was Nathaniel that cared and believed. He was Candy's support when she was falling, and now he was the one breaking her. Melody knew that in some way the girl was the cause of her crushes misery and spewed every hateful word and insult she could think of. Rage blinded Melody, the same way it did Castiel.

And Nathaniel. Rosa, watched with worry. Despite her suffering her close brunette friend kept her mouth shut. "Sorry...but it's not my story to tell." All her friends could do was worry and support her from afar. Armin often invited her to his and his brother's house. She was always welcomed as a member of the family.

At least for a few moments they would see her true smile, hear her warm lighthearted laugh. Then something would remind her of the situation. All they would see are red eyes and hear muffled cries. This went on for weeks.

Then one day at random. She never came to school. People were spreading gossip left and right. Wondering where the at one time bright and cheery girl was. Armin wasn't able to concentrate on anything, not even his games, he texted Candy a million times, he called several times, all leading to voicemail.

More then anything did he want to ditch. He needed to see if she was ok. Because he learned something shocking about his friend. For the passed few years, the main reason she moved to this school. Was because...she was in a constant struggle with depression.

There were days, he came to visit her at home and stumbled upon her medication. The raven haired gamer remembers very well the story she told him, that made her get checked out at the hospital.

Flashback...

"Middle school was harsh in my hometown. Kenten will tell you. He and I both were bullied day in and day out. It was brutal. One day someone went too far." Armin saw her glazed green eyes. It was a cold snowy day, and her parents went out to a movie. Both were snuggled in blankets with hot coco.

Taking a break from their latest round of pokemon. "One of the kids had a family member in the military like Kenten. He snuck a knife into the school. You can only imagine why he wanted to do that." His expression was grim, his blue eyes revealing shock. It was then she showed him, the light scars on her arms.

He noticed her biting her cheek, a sign of distress, she did it a lot when something was wrong. "He was swishing it around at recess, seeing it, Kenten and I stayed far away from him. The bully didn't like that. It was only a matter of time before he came stomping our way. He threw it at me. He threw it IN me."

Her nose was running. Immediately she grabbed a tissue. Blowing away all the snot along with the memories. "Kenten defended me and ended up with a stab in the shoulder. At that point I was going through a mental breakdown." She was a mess in 8th grade, there were so many times she played ill to miss class.

"Lucky for us a teacher finally realized what was going on and called an ambulance. Both of us were rushed, none of the wounds were fatal, but it left scars on us." Armin now knew why. Kenten since he met him was always so damn loyal and protective over Candy. Hearing of the past, it now made sense.

"He was in my room when I received the diagnosis. I ended up going through serious hysteria and paranoia due to the medication. I was in no condition to go into public schooling. I was...homeschooled, Kenten staying there right with me." She smiled a small smile.

She stared at the lukewarm drink in her hand, the marshmallows melting in the chocolate whirlpool. "He was a wreck when he found out my parents planned to make me move and attend public school on the outskirts of Paris." It was hard for Armin to picture him crying and being so emotional.

He transferred in the beginning of sophomore year with his twin Alexy. Candy beating them by a few months. By that time he only knew of military soldier Kenten. Serious, tough as nails camo boy. He was alerted that Amber bullied him and he was forced into military school but the change was drastic when shown the pictures.

"Despite his looks, he was still the kind, loyal fool he is now. He ran away from home, just to transfer into my school so i wouldn't be alone. He took dealing with more bullies just to make sure I was ok. At that time my medication was regulated and I bypassed the symptoms, I had learned to hide my weaknesses."

Though in a quiet voice she managed to admit that there were times where she wasn't able to control her emotions, and would have mild breakdowns when seriously stressed. "Now everyday I just feel so tired. I question sometimes when running low on my medicine...if I was to disappear...would anyone miss me?"

Present...

'Hell Candy...I would!' He could only pray that she wasn't running out on her anti-depression pills. Less his worst fears become a reality. He was looking through the window in his science class. Hoping to see her walk towards the school, to class, with that sheepish grin, apologizing for being late.

He nearly jumped to his feet when the door was slammed open. "Excuse me sir but a class is in session!" The student cared not for the irritated attitude of the teacher, or the confused glances from his fellow classmate. He only had eyes on Armin. Blue met green, the message loud and clear.

"My apologies, but I need Armin Lock, it's an emergency." At the fearful tone in the cookie monsters voice. Our gamer leaped to his feet, not waiting to get his excuse slip. The two walk out. Questions were pouring out of his mouth. "Did you get ahold of her? Is she ok?" If she would contact anyone it would be Kenten.

Though he had a crush on her in the past, he now had a mutual friend and sibling relationship with her. It didn't stop the strong bond they had. "No I didn't get word from her." His hopes were dashed.

"Which is why i'm dragging you out of class. I called your parents, mine and Candy's. She left the house this morning telling her folks she was heading to school. Never showed. The principal called them, and told her, immediately they called my cell and yours." Unfortunately his phone got busted during PE.

So he had no idea. "An asshole broke mine." The brunette nodded his head in understanding. "I let them know of the situation, we got permission from Mrs. Jackson and our folks to skip and look for her." That got him motivated in a rush, the two bolted as fast as possible down the halls.

Gaining unwanted attention. "No running in the halls." It was Nathaniel. So neither of the two slowed in stride. They could care less with what he wanted. They burst the doors open. Hopping down the stairs. "Where do you think she'd be Ken?" For once he didn't correct Armin on his name. There was no time for it.

"The forest. She always loved hiking up the mountain side of the forest to think. I found her there during the Deborah Incident!" It was the only lead they had, the two jumped into Kenten's motorcycle, va va vrooming through the streets. 'Please...please be there and be ok.' They were panicking.

With all the rain from the week before the ground was slippery and unstable with mud. Still they went ahead. Making their way to the top. They found her...but she was anything but alright. She looked so peaceful. With the birds chirping and the sun shining. The only thing that misplaced the scene before them?

Was the blood decorating her dress and the knife that caused it. Both were at a loss of words, frozen in dread. Shakily Kenten made his way to her body, and gently checked her pulse. At the corner of his eye Armin caught the sight of something white in the green grass and brown dirt. He picked it up.

Kenten called an ambulance...tears freely flowing through his eyes. Time was blurring along with the boys vision. Bits and pieces of a white truck, being grabbed, and the sound of screeching tires were all that could be made out.

To my dear friends and family...I'm sorry. I cannot continue living this way, it's become far too unbearable for me. I know you guys said to come to you when I needed to and words could not even begin to describe the gratefulness I feel. But it only furthers my guilt.

I'm not strong like Kenten or my parents. And unlike Alexy and Armin, I just make things worse. I'm not confident like Rosa either. It was a mistake for me to try and help...hell, it was a mistake for me to even be born.

I admit...i'm scared for what I'm about to do, but at the same time I don't see any other way for me to be free. Everyday I feel my heart about to be ripped apart from my emotions, my mind of painful thoughts are crushing me. I'm drowning and there's no one else I feel i can save me this time.

I'm a coward...but then again I always was. I'm sorry you guys, I can't seem to apologize enough for what i'm about to do. There's no other way out for me. When I am gone the following people may be able to take whatever they wish to of my possessions.

To my parents, my brother Kenten Jacobs, my sister Rosa Santana, my buddy Alexy Lock, and my crush Armin Lock. For all it's worth, despite it all, you guys were always there for me. I love you all.

Candy...

In a jolt Armin woke up on a couch. Kenten's slight breathing in his ear got his attention. He sat up, recognizing the place. "You guys passed out on the way to the hospital. Mom and me drove you guys home, then took Kenten's motorcycle to meet with dad who's sticking around at the hospital with Candy's parents." It was Alexy.

A pang of remorse spread through the elder sibling. "Alexy I'm sorry I-" He got a slight tap on the shoulder. "No apologies needed bro. I would've done the same thing in your shoes." Looking at Kenten's peaceful sleeping face. "Do you think she's..." Armiin didn't want to awnser.

Alexy wanting to cheer both his brother and himself, and so decides to have some fun. He pinches Kenten's cheek. No response. With a wicked grin he heads to his room. Leaving a puzzled brother and sleeping boyfriend behind.

When he returns...he has a washable marker. Blue eyes widen, before twinkling in excitement. "Got two?" He's automatically tossed his marker, unpop and..."AHHHH! What the hell!" Let's just say Jigglypuff could've done a better job. He wouldn't have done the whole body, The phone rings as Kenten steals the bathroom.

Alexy was unable to stop his giggles, leaving the slightly more responsible twin to pick up the phone. His mouth opened, before closing again. He listened quietly and attentively. Absorbing the information, doing his best not to show how overwhelmed he was.

The moment Camo Boy came down, he and the blunette were kidnapped and driven to Sweet Amoris Emergency Care. Taking their parents van. At their arrival they found Mr. Lock and Candy's father resting on the waiting seats, back to back. While their mother's took photos. "A Kodak moment~"

According to Alexy it had been a few days since they fainted. So much had happened while they were in la la land. Candy's aunt Agatha, took her future nephew in law and threw him into Candy's room, closing the door. "Really Agatha?" She ignored her sister and went to eavesdrop. The others following one by one.

Step, step step, he was gulping air at this rate. He saw flowers adorned around her pale frame, mainly purple Hyacinths. Unaware that someone visited the girl earlier. One with golden orbs full of sorrow.

She was clean...that was the first thing he noticed. Not a single stain of red was in sight. A second thing he realized. Her hands were warm, he grasped hers. Wrapping his long fingers in a gentle yet firm grip.

His vision blurred again. Salty burning tears dripped down. "I love you Candy..I'm so sorry." He sobbed into her soft fingers. Kissing them. He blamed himself, he wanted to be her hero. But all he became was a bystander. "Please tell me you didn't read my letter..." His eyes met with a tired gaze.

The tears came all the more. "Fraid so. Do you remember what we were talking about a long time ago? When you told me about your middle school days?" She nodded, but it was weak, she lost a lot of blood and for at least 24 hours was in a critical life or death fight. "Yes." Her voice was rough.

Dry and raw, it was hard for her to talk. "If you were to ever disappear. I wouldn't worry about you. Because no matter what, i'd find you. You won't ever stay lost for long." She couldn't help but chuckle. It hurt her stomach, the place where she stabbed herself. "You're so corny. Stealing from DN Angel are you?" He smiled. "You got my reference...dammit. But it's still true."

He placed a kiss on her lips. It was soft and it was swift. Before resting his forehead on hers. "I mean it you know..." He was glad to see her finally smiling. His ray of light, his sunshine, she was all he needed, and more. And he was more then what she felt she ever deserved. " I know."

the end

Author Notes: Ok truth is I was planning on it being Candy dies at the mountains but then i was like hmmm seems a bit too dark and i wanted the jigglypuff scene. Sooo yeah. I'm still satisfied though. Hopefully you guys are too. but at least in the beginning it was dark right? Right?

Hooo boy. So yeah a little venting from episode 23 of mcl. The purple Hyacinths are from Nathaniel if you couldn't guess. I looked it up and the flowers symbolize 'sorrow' 'I am Sorry,' and 'Please Forgive Me.'

So I felt that it would fit nicely. You people know the drill, you can review/fav/follow/read if you'd like. Thnx and tcha for now. Time to go to bed. Its 2:16 am...god.