Only Human

By

Aranna Undomiel


A/N: This idea suddenly came to me and my muse wouldn't rest until it was written. So here it is :D It is set around the first few episodes of season one, when they weren't so fond of each other yet.


Another glance in the direction of the empty office across the hallway and her frown deepened even more. Glancing at her watch revealed the time to be exactly 5 minutes later than the last time she checked it, which meant he was now 45 minutes late. Pushing down the worried feeling, she tried to focus back on the file in front of her.

'He probably is just working on another, non-Red related, case. After all, it's been four days since we've caught the last Blacklister and Reddington seems to have disappeared of the face of the Earth ever since.'

Nodding to herself, she decided that was probably it, nothing to worry about. Even more so, why did she worry at all? She doubted that he would, were the roles reversed; hell he'd probably be glad she wasn't there…Not that anyone would be able to tell the difference, she scoffed to herself, before she realised that was where her worry stemmed from. Last Friday, before their long awaited weekend off, something had seemed off about him. His frown and his short, terse comments were as grumpy as usual, but his shoulders seemed slumped, his face showing signs of fatigue when he thought no one was looking and he'd missed his cue a few times during the meeting.

At first she had snickered quietly; to herself off course, she could do without (another) lecture; but when he left at precisely 5 o'clock she had frowned in thought and a slightly worried feeling had appeared. The free weekend had erased it from her mind, but when she came in this morning to see his office empty, that gnawing feeling returned even stronger. He was, ever since they had started working together, always the first one in and the last person out of the Office.

Glancing up again, she noticed Cooper walking past the empty office, before he stopped in his tracks. Glancing around the office space with a frown, his gaze landed on hers and he stalked over to her office. "Keen, where's Ressler?" He addressed her. "I don't know sir, I haven't seen him since Friday" she admitted. "Have you tried calling him?" Holding in her curse for her own stupidity, she turned to her desk and grabbed her phone, scrolling through her contacts until his name popped up and she pressed it. Listening to the line continue its ringing, her worry grew with each time no connection occurred until his voicemail picked up.

Cooper's frown had deepened as she disconnected the call and tried again, only to be directed to voicemail once again. "Find him!" She nodded at this, pulling up his file to look for his address.


40 minutes later she found herself knocking on his apartment door, calling out to him to let her in, but there was no response. Turning towards the building's manager, she nodded at him to open the door. 'Sometimes it really helps to wear a badge' she thought with a grin as the door swung open quietly. She dismissed the manager with a quick 'thanks' before stepping inside, closing the door softly behind her.

Looking around the living area, she couldn't help but grin as it matched up perfectly with how she had pictured him to be living. It was clean and functional, everything sharp-angled and, to her opinion, very sterile. She couldn't detect a single personal item or random knick-knack.

Turning her mind back to the task at hand, she moved slowly across the room, gazing around the open kitchen area to find it empty. "Ressler? You home?" she questioned, but her only answer was silence. Moving down the hallway, she saw the door to the right was slightly ajar. Stepping inside, she realised this was his bedroom. Waiting for her eyes to adjust to the darkness, the closed curtains keeping out most of the sunlight, she searched for the light switch. The room flooded with soft light, revealing a king-size bed, a side table and a chair, but no Ressler. The bed was not made and the sheets were heavily rumpled, but when she touched the left side of the bed where the blankets were thrown back, the sheets were cold.

Worry increasing she left the bedroom, switching off the light again, plunging the room and hallway back into shadows. Glancing at the door in front of her, which she had guessed to be the bathroom, she suddenly noticed the small strip of light coming from underneath the door. Quickly, she pulled it open, only to be stopped dead in her tracks. Shocked for a few seconds at the sight in front of her, she quickly leapt towards the prone figure on the bathroom floor. "Ressler!"

The man was lying on his right side, dressed in grey sweatpants and tank top. His body was tucked between the bathtub and toilet, his long legs and bare feet stretched out towards the door. She kneeled beside him, letting out a breath she didn't know she was holding, when she found a pulse, even if it was a weak one. His arm felt cold to the touch, but when she slowly turned him on his back, she noticed his face was flushed and when she placed her hand on his forehead, she grimaced at the heat she felt radiating from there.

Looking him over, she was shocked by his appearance, such a far cry from the normally stoic and composed Agent. His blond hair was out of its gelled prison, darkened with sweat, plastered to his forehead and sticking out in strange angles at the back. Lines of pain and fatigue were visible on his face, dark bags under his closed eyes, lips dry and cracked. His grey tank top (showing of his lean body and strong muscles, her mind traitorously supplied) was darkened with the sweat it had absorbed, but lying on the cold bathroom floor had caused it to cool down, leading to the cold skin and occasional shivers that wracked his form.

She cupped his face in one hand, stilling in shock as he subconsciously leaned into her touch. She was startled by her phone ringing and she quickly withdrew her hand, ignoring the soft sigh of regret that escaped Ressler's lips. Flipping open the phone, she was greeted by Cooper's authorative tone. "Keen! Have you found him yet?" Sighing she responded. "Yes sir, I did, he's in bad shape…" "What! What happened? Was he attacked?" "What? Oh no, sir, I meant, he's really sick. Probably the flu or something." She heard Cooper sigh. "Take care of him, Keen." "What? But…I…sir?" she stuttered, starting to feel a bit panicked. "You heard me Keen. You're his partner, take care of him!" "But sir, I can't…he wouldn't want…I have work" "Keen!" Cooper barked through her ramblings. "That's an order. Consider yourself reassigned." She opened her mouth to protest, but she was greeted by the sound of a call disconnected.

Sighing, she pocketed her phone, looking back to her 'job' for the day, blinking in surprise when she found two half-lidded glazed blue eyes staring back at her in confusion. "…'een?" Ressler managed to croak and she quickly got up. She filled the cup on the edge of the washing table with water and sat back down. Guiding his head up with a hand in his neck, she held the cup to his lips, watching as he greedily drank from it. She refilled it twice, silently wondering how long he had been lying there without being able to get up.

She cursed herself as she was once again startled out of her thoughts, this time by Ressler's voice. She focused her attention back to him. His face showed no emotion as he looked at her, his ever present frown directed at her. "What are you doing here?" "You didn't show up for work today, so I was sent to find you. " She could see his muddled mind working to process this, but the outcome was unexpected to say the least. Then again, this was Ressler she was talking about, so maybe she should have expected this…

He started pulling his legs under him, panting heavily when he succeeded, before he used the toilet and the edge of the tub to push himself into a standing position. She quickly got up too, shaking her head in exasperation at his stubbornness, yet at the same time admiring his strength of character, as he stood there swaying on his feet, sweat streaming down his face, breath coming in short gasps. He turned to face her. "Give me a minute and I'll be ready to go…" Her startled laugh was quickly silenced as his expression suddenly changed and he fell to his knees in front of the toilet, expelling all the water he had just drank. She dropped down beside him, rubbing comforting circles on his back without even realising it. By the time his dry heaves subsided, she could feel him listing sideways. She cursed herself for giving him so much to drink at once, before reaching over to pull his upper body over to rest against her shoulder. She could feel him use the little strength he had left to fight against that movement. Sighing, she relinquished her hold on him, while still keeping a hand on his shoulder to steady him. Looking at his glazed eyes and drooping eyelids, she decided it was time to get moving. "Come on, let's get you to bed. " She pointedly ignored his whispered 'I'm fine" and instead slung his arm over her shoulder, positioning her other arm under his armpit on the opposite side, grunting as she tried to get the taller man into a standing position. "Come on Ressler, a little help here?" She pleaded. She could see him blink his eyes until the glazed look mostly disappeared and she could feel him pull his legs under him again, weakly pushing upwards until they were standing. "That's it! " She encouraged him, holding his swaying form tightly. "Easy does it…"

Step by little step they made it across the hallway. As they crossed the threshold into his bedroom, she could feel his last reserves starting to drain. He leaned on her with increasingly more weight and his head lolled around until it rested on her shoulder. Grunting, she half dragged, half pushed him towards the bed. The last step she felt his strength leave him and his legs gave out, dragging her along as he fell forward. Because she used her own weight to propel them forward, he landed on his side on the bed, causing her to land on his chest. A soft grunt escaped his lips and she hastily scrambled back into a standing position, uttering apologies the entire time. Realising Ressler's eyes had closed again and he was oblivious to the world around him, she wearily wiped a hand across her face.

She gently took hold of his long legs and placed them on the bed, positioning him properly. Gazing at his sweat-soaked top, she debated silently with herself, before heading over to his drawers in search of a dry shirt. The first drawer she opened contained his boxers and she swiftly closed it, feeling her face heat up. In the second one she found what she was looking for and she pulled out a clean black t-shirt. Placing the shirt beside Ressler, she placed a hand under his neck and his shoulders, pulling his upper body towards her. Grunting, she struggled to get the heavier man's uncooperative upper body in position. Finally succeeding, she gently let his head rest on her shoulder, feeling the heat rolling off him through her shirt. She gently started peeling his shirt off, placing one hand on his chest to hold him steady as she pulled the tank top over his head and dropped it to the floor, working to get his arms through the proper openings; she finally succeeded and gently lowered him down, her neck immediately cooling down without the heat-source Ressler provided.

Picking up his tank top, she covered him with the blankets before making her way back to the bathroom. Wetting a washcloth and filling the cup with water once more, she went back to the bedroom, stopping for a moment in the doorway as she realised how much younger, and more vulnerable, Ressler looked like this. Shaking her head to stop such thoughts, she sat down on the edge of the bed, placing the cool cloth on Ressler's forehead. A shiver racked his body and he started mumbling, trying to move his head away from the cold of the cloth. Using her left hand to hold the cloth in place, she used the right one to wipe away some of the droplets that had escaped from the wet fabric. "Sshh, it's okay. You'll be fine, just go back to sleep" She soothed, continuing the litany as her thumb rubbed slow circles on his forehead.

Sighing softly, the mumbling slowly stopped and his body stilled. She continued for a little longer until she was certain he was fast asleep. Tracking back and forth to the bathroom to cool the cloth again, she then walked to the kitchen, opening the cabinets and the fridge, somehow not surprised by the lack of food therein. Mind made up, she started looking around for Ressler's keys, because convincing the manager to let her in a second time was going to be a lot harder she suspected. Finally locating them on Ressler's nightstand, she whispered: "I'll be right back" to the still form in the bed.


Shopping had taken her longer than expected, having to search the unfamiliar area for a grocery store and pharmacy. So here she was, nearly an hour later, balancing both heavy bags and the files she took from her car, in order to open the front door to Ressler's apartment. Grumbling under her breath, she finally managed too, nearly running towards the kitchen counter in order not to drop anything. Closing the door behind her, she walked towards the bedroom, checking on Ressler taking priority over unpacking. A thin sliver of sunlight was peeking from between the curtains, framing his peaceful face in a soft glow. Satisfied she returned to the kitchen, ready to start making a batch of chicken soup.


The soup had been finished hours ago and she was going over the case files she had brought with her when suddenly the silence was broken. A low groan was heard from the bedroom, soon followed by another. Dropping her file to the couch, she hurried towards the bedroom.

Ressler was still asleep, but his forehead was creased in a tight frown and he was tossing and turning under his tangled sheets. His lips were constantly moving, soundless words in between low moans. Placing a hand on his forehead she was shocked to feel the heat coming off seemed even higher than before. His clean shirt was already sweat-soaked and he was shivering constantly.

Swiftly moving back to the kitchen, she raided his cabinets for a pan before she filled it with cold water, throwing in a brick of ice cubes to cool it even more. Filling a glass with lukewarm water, she mixed the Tylenol she had bought through it and carried both items back to the bedroom.

Ressler had managed to kick his blankets of him in the meantime, which she swiftly pulled back over him. "Come on Don, let's get you out of that wet shirt again" Once again struggling with an uncooperative Ressler, she pulled the t-shirt over his head and dropped it on the floor. Sitting so close to him, she could finally hear what he was mumbling. He was begging for something or pleading with someone and his tone nearly broke her heart. She soothingly stroked his sticky hair of his forehead, her other hand inserting the cloth into the pan with cold water. She wrung it out with both hands and gently wiped it over his face and upper body, refreshing the cloth after each wipe.

The feeling of the cold water against his too warm skin succeeded in partially rousing Ressler after a few minutes. His hands tried to feebly push away the cloth and she easily held them back with her own. "Stop that Donald, it for your own good" She admonished, repeating the action once more. He shivered violently, brow creasing even more, his hands not giving up the attempts to push the cloth away. "Don't…? 'S cold…" He pleaded softly and she really felt sorry for him. "I know it is Don" She said softly. "But it'll make you feel better soon, I promise."

He moaned again, breathing heavily as he blinked his eyes open, the pale blue cloudy with exhaustion and fever. His eyes wandered over the cloth wiping his chest and finally landed on her face, a slow recognition started to appear in his eyes. "Hey you, welcome back" She said softly, trading the cold cloth for the glass with Tylenol. "I need you to drink this; can you do that for me?'" He blinked a few times, his gaze wandering, before slowly nodding. Placing a hand behind his neck, she supported his head, slowly letting him sip from the water. There were still a few sips left when his eyes started drooping again. Softly tapping his cheek, she was rewarded with slivers of his blue eyes. "Just a little more and then you can go back to sleep." She couldn't help but grin at the petulant look he managed to throw her way. "Come on, do it for me?" She wheedled with a grin, but that faded when he stared at her with an odd look in his eyes, before he sighed and slowly drank the rest too.

She gently wiped his face and his eyes closed as he leaned into her touch as she rested his head back on his pillow. Removing her hand to grab the cloth again, he immediately blinked his eyes open, near panic shining from them as they roamed the room. She pulled the chair closer again and he visibly relaxed when he saw her. "It's okay, I'm not going anywhere" He nodded drowsily as she once again started to cool him down, in the back of her mind she was rather glad he was so out of it, otherwise this would have been rather awkward and uncomfortable for both of them…

It didn't take long for him to lose the battle to stay awake. She didn't know how long she sat there in that chair, trying to bring his temperature back to normal, her body moving in a constant rhythm without even thinking about it. When she finally placed her hand on his forehead and felt no heat coming off it, she sighed with relief.

Putting away the cloth, she opened his second drawer again, pulling out another clean shirt. She chuckled dryly to herself as this time, dressing Ressler went rather smoothly. "I'm becoming quite the expert at this" she grinned as she covering him with a clean blanket, before settling down in the chair again. She placed a soft hand on his head as she leaned back in her chair, her heart unexpectedly surging as Ressler turned his head towards her, nuzzling her hand. Soothingly rubbing circles on his forehead, she listened to his steady breathing as the peace and quiet in the dark bedroom caught up with her and her eyes started drooping…


When she was startled out of her deep sleep, she needed a minute to comprehend where she was, but the ringing of her phone continued and her mind quickly cleared. Realizing it was now dark outside; she glanced at the clock on the nightstand as she picked up. She blinked in shock at the numbers 2.14 AM as she answered the call. "Where are you?!" "Tom, hey, I'm so sorry, I've been….busy" she replied quietly, quickly walking out of the bedroom so she wouldn't wake Ressler. "And you didn't think to call?" "Tom, I'm really sorry, okay?" she said, feeling her guilt growing. "It's just, my help was needed…" "And you think I didn't need you!"

"Tom…" she pleaded softly, hearing him sigh on the other end of the line, imagining him pinching the bridge of his nose. "Liz, I'm sorry for yelling, but I was worried, I woke up and you weren't home…" "I know and I'm sorry too. I'll be home soon, just go back to bed okay? "She heard him sigh again. "Yeah sure Liz. Bye…" "Bye" she whispered back, sinking down on Ressler's couch, a sad feeling creeping up at their broken trust, at the fact she felt she couldn't even tell him she had been taking care of her sick co-worker in fear of his reaction.

Making her way back to the bedroom, she placed a soft hand on Ressler's forehead, glad to find it still cool to the touch. 'Well, I guess I'd better head home then….' She thought to herself as she quietly started gathering her belongings. After one final glance towards Ressler's peacefully sleeping form, she made her way to the kitchen, scribbling a short note before closing the door behind her.


It was 1 PM when Donald Ressler woke up, body still tired and sore, but feeling much better than the last time he remembered being awake. The last days had been a blur and he figured he must have had some strange delirious dreams, if the small snippets (most of them featuring Elizabeth Keen, strangely enough) that crossed his mind, were anything to go by. Stretching out his heavy and aching limbs, he slowly made his way to his kitchen. He had just poured himself a glass of water when his eye fell on a note lying on the counter.

Confusion creased his brow as he picked it up, eyebrows rising in shock as he read the content, before groaning loudly, the sound echoing around his empty apartment. The note made him painfully aware that he had not been dreaming, Keen had been here and she had seen him at his weakest…

As he headed towards his bedroom, the note softly floated tot the ground, the sunlight catching the message written there:

Ressler,

I've called you in sick for at least the next two days. Don't bother trying to come to work sooner, the guards have orders not to let you in.

There's chicken soup and plenty of juice in your fridge. Take it! You'll feel better soon.

Love Liz (Keen)

PS That bedhead makes you look really adorable…


THE END


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