Title: Let it Rain
Pairing(s): Pre-slash Dean/Castiel, later Slash
Rating/Warnings: M for violence, language, angst, and later Castiel abuse
Spoilers: Season 6 spoilers
Summary: Castiel comes back to the hunters after Sam is resurrected. Castiel and Dean are consumed by feelings of guilt and confusion about their bond and complicated relationship. Risky times force them to confront their emotions but some things are hard to admit.
Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural I just love the series.
A/N: Castiel trying to control emotions and Dean starts acting his age.
000~000
"You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel."
- Unknown
Chapter 1: Let It Rain
A light shone through the window of their motel room and fell on Dean's restless face. It had been raining for days on end but the dreary weather was the least of Dean's worries. Overwhelming guilt and frustration about recent events had made it impossible for him to sleep peacefully. Sammy was a shell of what he used to be; cold and logical and despite how Dean tried to ignore it gave him a chill to hear heartless words leave his kid brother's lips. On top of that Lisa and Ben had finally left his life for good and with their leaving there was an emptiness in his heart.
He turned his attention to his work and unfortunately didn't find too much ease there either. Jobs had been less than desirable ever since Crowley made Samuel, and indirectly, Sam and Dean and their whole extended family his bitches. Dean would stay up and night thinking about how they should have torched the sonovabitch when they had the chance but despite his frustration there was nothing he could do about it now but wait for Crowley to slip up again and then strike.
Something else had been bothering him a lot...the way Cas had behaved when he finally showed up again. After Bobby scolded Sam and Dean for not appreciating him Dean began to wonder what the angel felt every time he called him for help. It hadn't bothered him too much because he was so wrapped up in his family troubles but the last time Cas came to call he hadn't sounded angry necessarily but the way he responded to Dean was troubling.
"You're problems always come first."
Cas had seemed so...defeated. Dean hadn't given the angel's worries much thought and he felt like his selfishness was tearing at the fragile bonds he had with Cas. The more he mulled the whole thing over he started to realize that he had chosen the fake Sammy over Cas lately and that in the end it wasn't even worth it.
Before he could stop himself he let his eyes shut and began to speak, "Cas...I don't know if you can hear me right now and I know you are really busy but for what it's worth, I'm sorry. I don't know what's going on up in Heaven but whatever is wrong if I can help I will. Cas I know I've taken you for granted lately but I swear I'll lay off. You have family stuff you need to take care of and I can understand that as much as anyone." Dean felt his chest tighten as he continued, "Cas I don't know where you are but you've been gone a long time and I could use your company now that Sam is all messed up. Cas I really mi-" he stooped himself before he said something he would regret.
Dean kept his eyes closed and quietly listened for for any signs of the angel as he fell asleep and as he drifted away he could swear he could hear the soft fluttering of wings.
Dean awoke to the sound of people talking. One voice was flat and emotionless; Zombie Sammy and the other...Cas?
Dean bolted upright as if to catch a glimpse of the angel before he flew off.
"Cas?"
Cas tilted his head and offered Dean his signature scowl and greeting "Hello Dean."
Dean wondered if Cas had heard his prayer last night and automatically becoming aware of the words he uttered the night before. Dean Winchester was not a weak guy and he didn't intend on showing any weakness to the angel if he could avoid it.
"What brings you here?" Keep it business Dean...
"I am tracking another rare item...or 'nuke' as you've been calling them."
"What kind of item?" Dean replied flatly, sitting on the side of the bead.
"The Sword of Jophiel. It was the flaming sword used to drive Adam and Eve out of Eden." Zombie Sam stated very matter-of-factly.
"It is a very powerful weapon with incredible destructive power Dean."
"Yea Cas I figured since it's, ya know, on fire..."
"Jophiel isn't aware of who stole it but I am positive it was Balthazar."
"So now what?"
Cas turned to look at Dean intently, "I will look around the city."
In a blink of an eye the angel was gone again. As always, the lack of a 'goodbye' or even warning pissed Dean off a bit.
"I hate it when he does that..."
"Dean, you want to get some breakfast?" Sam suggested.
"Sure...I'm sure he'll pop in again whenever he feels like."
Sam nodded in agreement and opened the door of the motel to the blazing summer outside. Dean threw on a new t-shirt and followed his brother out to the Impala.
Sam and Dean went to a diner just down the road and a waitress lead them to a booth towards the back. Just as they were sitting down Castiel popped into the booth next to Sam. Both of the brothers jumped as per usual as the angel stared at the brothers for a moment.
"I can't find the sword anywhere." he stated evenly as the waitress walked by. She gave him a strange look over her shoulder and continued to the table she was serving.
"Thanks Cas. Great timing as always..." Dean replied sarcastically. Castiel could feel a small amount of annoyance rise in him at Dean's childish behavior but he quickly shrugged it away as he always did.
"But Cas the fires in the town point straight to the sword."
"I know that is why I am confused about where it is being hidden...unless..."
"Unless?"
"Perhaps Balthazar is hiding it well with angelic magic. If it is strong enough it would be hard for me to find..." Cas trailed off and started at the table.
"What should we do?" Dean asked.
"We look for signs for now. Unexplained fires; unusual behavior." Cas studied Dean for a moment "Dean you look tired."
"I'm fine Cas. We have more important things to worry about. I'll head into town and ask the fire department about the recent house fires. Sam you can do some research on the weapon."
"Sounds like a plan." Zombie Sam jumped on the chance to do work while Cas continued to stare at Dean with his brow furrowed.
"Alright." Cas finally said "I will meet the two of you tonight."
And with the flutter of wings Castiel was gone.
Dean and Sam finished their food and returned to the motel before parting ways. Dean spent the day between the fire house and the morgue trying to find a link between the people who had been attacked. In each case the victims had been burned alive and so far had nothing in common...not location or affiliation as far as he could tell. Dean sat in the diner that evening mulling over the information he had collected that day. He heard Cas' wings and he pulled himself from his thoughts to address the angel.
"Heya Cas. What did you find out?"
"Regrettably...nothing."
"Damn. Yea not much here either. In every case there were no survivors so it's been a bit of a problem finding witnesses. I'm going to go to the family members tomorrow and see if they know anything."
"Sounds productive."
Dean had been looking at his paperwork and for the first time since the angel arrived he looked at him. Castiel of course was staring at him intently as if trying to divulge information from him with his eyes.
"Cas, you go something to say? Cus' you're freaking me out."
Castiel seemed to snap out of his staring contest and looked at Dean apologetically. "I'm sorry Dean sometimes I forget."
"It's fine Cas...hey why don't we get out of here? We've been working all day let's go let loose."
"If I am not here I should be in Heaven continuing to sort things out..." Cas stared at the table and Dean could have sworn he sounded disappointed. Dean placed a reassuring hand on Cas' shoulder and the angel looked up.
"I won't keep ya' long I swear." Dean threw out one of his signature smiles and the angel couldn't help but allow himself to follow. Dean missed Cas desperately and he didn't really know how to explain it so spend time together than relaxing and drinking? Things had been way too tense between them so he hoped this would help lighten things up a bit.
"Alright...for a while. But after a few hours I really must go."
"Gotcha. No worries Cas I'll get you back by curfew."
"What is-"
"Shut up Cas."
A/N: Hope you liked this so far! Please read/review :)
