Anyone up to read the rulebook of Marching band? Something completely random and should remind some of you of the wacky events of your band… I've been seeing these kinds of stories pop up all over the other categories. Why not for band?
The rating is because there is some… er… questionable stuff in here… XD It's not really that bad, though.
We may not threaten to try out for the football team because we think we are better at football than the football players are.
Even if we are
That would make us miss halftime
Since the football team misses it anyway
We may not say that trumpets want to take over the world
Even if they do
Nor may we tell this to the flutes, which will have the rumor all over the campus in under a minute
We may not taunt the athletic kids with our supernatural abilities
Even if we have them
We must stop thinking about having supernatural abilities
'Meet the Parents' or any movie like that is strictly forbidden from the band bus
We may not question the director about that
We may not skip pep rally days to prove that the band makes the pep rallies happen
Even if we all are sick
This also goes for football games
And practice days
We may not bring food into the band hall unless otherwise repealed by the band director
If food is allowed, we must be careful when we buy a bowl of nacho cheese for our chips
We may not drool over the DCI marching band guys
Even if they are cute
We may not approach said people and tell them they are cute
We may not have our faces painted for homecoming
It would get paint on our uniform
We may not beg the uniform manager for the keys to the uniform room
Or the custodian
After doing said act, we may not burn the concert season dresses and tuxes
Even if they are more dorky than the marching uniforms
We may not act like band is our life
Even though it is
Football games are not social time.
Not that we have any friends outside of band anyway
We may not dance stupidly to drum cadences
We are to act like mature teenagers
If there even is a such thing
Talking about band is okay
Talking about band to annoy others isn't
Band Camp must be taken seriously
Even though a certain movie makes us think differently
We may not tease the flutes about this
Saxes are not instruments of torture
We are not allowed to say they are
This also goes for trumpets
Throwing around objects that make everyone dodge them and giggle are not allowed on the bus
We may not sneak R rated movies on the bus
'Lights out at midnight' should be taken seriously
That does not give us the right to switch seats
Or to get close to a 'friend' of the opposite gender
Whatever happens on the band bus, STAYS on the band bus
This does not give the tubas the right to stalk the flutes to make sure they aren't talking about said events
Even if the flutes do
Or any other instrument for that matter
The dance team should not be targets for flying objects
That includes the color guard flagpoles
Even if the dance team has fake flags that they use during the show that make the color guard mad
We must think of the safety of our instrument before we act
This includes revenge schemes
We may not mess up the dance team song on purpose
Even if they make us look bad
Wearing underwear on top of your head does not imitate the hats the tuba players wear
Since they can't wear a plume
Even if the hats look like that
Plumes are not to be used for any activity outside of marching band
We must not make up our own drills
Even if we thought a big blob was a good set
We may not switch places with other people during a parade
Especially if we are in uniform
We may not wear pink sunglasses during a parade
Even if the sun is shining directly in front of us
We may not paint the marching field with glow in the dark paint
Even if we can't see where we are going during morning rehearsal
Obnoxious noises during early morning practice will get the police called on the band
Just because the temperature falls under freezing does not mean we can roll around in the grass like snow is falling to get out of practice
We must listen to the seniors
Spit valves are to be emptied before halftime, not during
'All You Can Eat' buffets are not to be used for pizza eating contests.
Or any other food contest
Even if that bass drummer can shove two pieces of pizza in his mouth at the same time
We are to net tell freshmen their plumes are on backwards
Even if we want to
This includes drum majors
We may not come unglued when the dance team is imitating the drum majors during practice
Or any other time of day for that matter
We may not walk out of the band hall with our uniform jacket on backwards
The boys may not run down the halls in their boxers when their changing
Even if their suspenders were stolen by another guy
This goes into play when school is in session
Especially if people are in the middle of switching classes
The mascot is not a drum major. Therefor, we must not laugh at his attempts to be one at the games
Trombone slides may not be used for the hitting of anyone's head
Bass Clarinets are not saxophones
We may not confuse people not in band by saying so
We may not hide the piccolo case in a tuba case
Even if it fits with plenty of room
Or because it's funny when the piccolo player flips out
Tripping during the scatter drill to go off the field is not funny
Although we think it is
Color guard is to keep their flag poles away from the main group while marching
Especially the flute section
Tripping the entire flute and clarinet section while marching isn't funny
Since they are all going backwards
Although we still think it is hilarious
When a drum major says 'One lap around the school!' we must obey
We may not walk during said lap
Or drive our cars around the school
Or make fun of the freshmen actually running
The color guard suits are not to be made fun of
Even if the guys in it are wearing blue glittered outfits
'My instrument ate it' may not be used as a homework excuse
If your instrument has a name, you must keep that to yourself
Glow sticks are not a valid replacement for plumes
Even if they look cool
Blankets are for the weak
We are all weaklings
Throwing chips around the bus is strictly forbidden
Even if the school district would rather give the dance team a charter and the band some three old yellow buses
We may not throw a tantrum if said events take place
We may not teach the dance team the wrong way to march
Even if they are freshmen
Only pass your can of soda down the bus if you aren't sick
If you are, make sure to warn the people about to drink out of it
Hatboxes are not trash bins
We may not use them as such thing
Any music player is fine
Just make sure you're not listening to it during halftime
Cell phones should not be on vibrate during halftime
Just incase you get a call, and your phone is in your jacket pocket
We may not stuff the skinny sophomore in the tuba
Or anybody in any other grade for that matter
Even if he wants to be shoved into a tuba
We may not shove a dance team member in the tuba
Oops. They wouldn't fit
We must stop talking about the dance team that way
Although we have the strong urge to
The color guard may not practice in the band hall anymore
Or any other area with breakable light fixtures
And trophies
Marching percussion instrument lockers are not to be locked with anyone in them
Unless said person locked in was in orchestra
We must scratch out that last one, giving a full apology to the orchestra
We may not put make up on any guy while he is sleeping on this bus
Or put shaving cream on them
Or any other item that could cause potential embarrassment
Especially the drum majors
Or the guys that are okay with wearing make-up
Pictures from the band bus may not be used as blackmail
Guys may not go into the Claire's store in an out of town mall and ask where to get some glitter
Or Victoria's Secret asking for who knows what
Girls cannot be dared to go into a sports store and ask for male sports gear
That last one goes for guys as well
Band people don't need those
We may not speak of false events at band camp
Gum will not fix everything
Including instruments
Reeds may not be used as money
Even if they are expensive
We may not have dates with our instrument
Even if we spend every Friday night with it
The director isn't afraid to leave anyone behind
This includes the trumpet soloist
We may not put any thing brown on one of the drum majors' seat
Or any other color liquid
Even if it's funny that their white pants stain easily
We hereby accept these rules and adjustments to our current behavior and understand why this is a necessary action to take
Signed,
The bands of the 2006 marching seasonxxx
What do you think? Should I continue with one for each section?
