A/N: None of this belongs to me... All of it is J.K. Rowling's, except what isn't hers, and that stuff belongs to somebody else.
Snape sat miserably on the edge of his bed, looking somehow more enticing than usual, his signature scowl plastered firmly upon his pale face, and reflected on how he got into his situation.
The whole blasted thing, as usual, had been that old lunatic Dumbledore's idea. Snape had been tormenting his Potion students, if that was what they could be called, load of half-wits they all were, when Dumbledore had walked in and announced that he wanted to see Snape in his office for a meeting after school hours, a disgustingly cheerful smile on his face. Snape had pretty much ignored it, assuming that it was just another conference on conduct pertaining to terrorizing the students, or discouraging professors from doing so. Another annoyance added to his list of grievance, (he had been meaning to plan out a particularly difficult lesson for the next day, it being so close to summer break) he continued throughout the day in no better a mood he had been in before, except for when Longbottom blew up yet another cauldron.
However, when the meeting rolled around, Snape had walked into Dumbledore's office to find him sitting by his desk, eyes twinkling annoyingly as they always did.
"Ah, welcome, Severus!" the old man had gestured for the tall, thin, deliciously menacing Severus to sit down, which he did. "I'll bet you are wondering what this is all about."
Snape had given a slight nod. "Yes, Headmaster. Please make this quick- I have things I need to take care of tonight."
Dumbledore had smiled again, and Snape fought the urge to grimace. "Don't worry- this should not take much of your time. You see, I have a surprise for you." He paused dramatically. "We're going camping!"
Snape had continued to look at the headmaster, face blank. "Camping."
"Yes, camping! The muggle way!" Dumbledore had practically wriggled in his seat with nauseating glee.
"…And what is the purpose of this… surprise?" Snape had managed to utter the phrase.
"Well, we cannot live our lives completely ignorant of muggle ways! Besides, this will be a wonderful bonding experience. The professors need to become as one unit, a brother-and-sisterhood of sorts."
Snape had actually twitched at the word 'bonding'. The whole idea was starting to make him feel slightly ill. But then, as if from above, a little ray of light had burst into his head, a way out- a perfectly good excuse! "Well, I'm terribly sorry, headmaster, but the end-of-year exams are coming up, and I have yet to-"
"Not to worry, Severus! I have had the whole thing taken care of, so your schedule is completely clear for our little field trip!"
Snape had felt his little ray of light shrivel up and die miserably and seriously considered quitting his job.
"Anyway, I must insist that you go; I have made it mandatory to do so unless you should like to sacrifice your next salary. Think of it as an early vacation!" Dumbledore had then stood, grinning. "Well, I think it would be wise to hurry back to your chambers and finish up that business of yours, hm?"
For a moment, Snape could not move, he had so loathed the wizard before him and the event he had just been locked into. But he somehow stood, paler than usual. "When- when do we depart?" he had choked out, forcing himself not to curse his employer into oblivion.
"Eight o'clock tomorrow morning, from the front field. We'll be traveling the muggle way, so be prepared!"
Snape had no idea what the headmaster meant by 'be prepared', but he did not like it.
Snape had made his way back to his chambers, trying not to think of what kind of cheerful, migraine-inducing nonsense the next day would bring. Mournfully, he had magicked his things into his great black trunk, still trying to think of a way out of this stupid trip, but there was not one to be found. He had showered, changed, combed his long black hair, and gone to bed. Try as he might, he could not force the foreboding images of the nightmare that would be the next day out of his head. Instead, he had entertained himself by thinking of creative new methods of torture and malevolence that he would wreak upon his multitude of half-grown idiots that were his students once he got back.
A/N: End of Chapter one! Next up: Let's get this freak show on the road!
